… to think there's something wrong with me? :(

[Dieu]

No piss taking please, as I feel genuinely, irrationally upset at this moment!
My 10 year old daughter just asked if I would plait her hair. My heart sunk, as I am completely rubbish at doing hair. I tried and failed, so we looked up THE most simple hair braiding youtube tutorial. I still couldn't get it, or what my hands were supposed to do. Teenage daughter (girls are wasted on me, with my poor hairdressing skills!) came into the room, and did her hair in two seconds flat. I also couldn't get my head around it when she showed me. Than it struck me that I have failed 8 driving tests (the theory was aced first time). Could it be linked? Academically I am bright; I have a first class degree and can speak several languages. However, my practical/manual/co-ordination skills completely suck! I actually felt embarrassed just there in front of my daughters, and pretty fucking ineffectual. Is anyone else like this? Can't help but feel that I'd be diagnosed with something, if still in childhood (I should add that I possess good writing skills, etc). Of course it could be that I'm over thinking this, being too hard on myself, and that I just happen to be shite at practical driving tests and hair!

I would get her checked out because if she has Dyspraxia or another condition she might need accommodations to reach her potential at school. For example, I had extra time in exams because I struggled with the speed of my writing.

Since hearing about dyspraxia (and similar conditions) as an adult I have also often wondered if this might explain some of the issues that I struggled with growing up. I know that no diagnosis would magically solve the problem but I do feel that as a child it would perhaps have meant that teachers etc were a bit more sympathetic. My strengths/problem areas are:

• Good at maths that uses numbers but useless at the shape stuff (turning shapes around/symmetry etc).
• Good at spelling/reading etc
• High academic achievement in general at school, good degree etc
• No sense of direction- if I go anywhere new I need a satnav plus map and directions and will still probably take a wrong turning or five. I always found it difficult to remember my way around school/workplaces and have often gone to the loo in an office building and had to ask for help finding my way back to where I came from.
• I can drive and can reverse park/parallel park. However, learning took years and lots of lessons. Reverse parking/parallel parking only works if I have plenty of space and if I try to think too hard about what I am doing it goes badly wrong. Even in a standard car parking space it can take me several attempts to get in sensibly. I tend to try to park in the same place each time at the shops/school/work etc as I have worked out how to get in.
• I simply can't do sports. My legs seem to go all over the place if I try to run and I have never worked out how to catch a ball (unless thrown very slowly in my direction, aimed at my hands and with plenty of notice). Any attempt to hit a ball with a racket/bat is pointless. When I tell people I can't play tennis/badminton etc they assume I mean I am not brilliant at it, say they can't either and encourage me to join in. On the few occasions that I have done this there are looks of embarrassment all round as I flail aimlessly around.
• I can't dance. Luckily there were a few years in my youth when grunge etc meant that un co-ordinated leaping around were the norm so I was OK. In later life I have tried ceilidh, line dancing, zumba etc and the result is messy.
• I also can't do anything with hair. Could never successfully style my own and definitely not do all the fancy plaits etc that DDs friends mums do. In the end DH taught himself how to do french plaits and the like for DD and he has tried to teach me I just can't get it.
• Totally useless at art. Anything I draw with the DC looks like the work of a five year old.

I'm sure listing this won't help me get any better at this stuff but it does feel better to talk about it openly with people who might just understand and not assume I'm just not trying.

I feel for you chunkymum1. People with Dyspraxia are often accused of being clumsy or lazy by people who don't understand and that can be very upsetting. I know you are doing your best. I struggle with a lot of the same things as you and I'm also good at reading. I think that actually made it more difficult for teachers to understand at school because before I was diagnosed they assumed I just wasn't trying hard enough as they could tell I was bright but I couldn't complete tasks on time because I was struggling with stuff like laying out a page and handwriting.

Damsel- thanks for you kind words. I hope you are getting the understanding that you need. I was lucky enough not to have any trouble with handwriting and presentation of my school work- I could manage these things enough to look neat and worked out ways round tasks that I just couldn't do (eg. sticking pictures from magazines in to school projects rather than drawing them). My main issue at school was sports- I had so many horrible comments from teachers and pupils alike (in fact one teacher in particular was worse than any pupil) that it was over 20 years after I left school that I dared to attempt a racket sport (and then on the strict condition that only DH was present and we would stop if anyone else came near) for fear of ridicule. I still don't run in public or take part in any team sport. I'd love to be able to play sports with the DC in the park etc but I know that I would not be able to catch/hit the ball which I fear would attract unwanted attention. So far my DC don't seem as bad as I was but they are definitely no sports stars so I do sometimes fear that either they have got the same issue or the fact that I won't do sports means they haven't had the same exposure to these things as others.

On a recent training course a trainer gently asked me if I'd ever had 'anything diagnosed' as my balance and coordination are awful, as is my concentration. I thought he was hinting at dyslexia but dyspraxia came up as I was googling and it was a bit of any eye opener.

Loads of things resonated from the childhood list (taking ages to learn to ride a bike or swim) and the adults (disorganisation, poor coordination, using different hands for different tasks.) it just feels like my brain is a little bit wrong. I too was dismissed as lazy at school.

My best wrongly wired brain moment was taking about three months to 'get' Pointless

Different hands for different tasks? Can you elaborate Kieran? That resonates with me

Always struggled with things, the ironing board i turn over and collaspe it that way. Awkward , but it works ..
I couldnt do hair, i cant read manuels, if im shown first im ok with things.

I cn drive, but never reverse into spaces and had so many prangs its scary. Learnt from it and a better driver now, more awareness with age, sensors help too!
I think i could be dyspracic, but i doubt id get a diagnoses at my age now.

Well I'm right handed for writing (although can write left handed albeit slowly) but do sports left handed (archery, table tennis) - any sport then needs any degree of arm
strength like tennis I struggle with as I can't coordinate my hand/eye.

I eat left handed and my dad tells me I drain pans the wrong way round too, like his mother who was naturally left handed but forced to write right handed as often was the case back then (I didn't know you could drain pans any other way!)

If I do something for my son like brush his teeth I have to do it left handed

I am the same...I trained as a nurse and hugely struggled with the practical side but found the academic stuff okay.

I can never get the ironing board at home to work!

Kieran...snap! I always thought I was ambidextrous regarding using diff hands for different tasks but its interesting to see that this is considered dyspraxic.

It's actually called cross handedness as a opposed to ambidextrous unless you can genuinely do tasks with both hands equally.

It isnt necessarily a sign you gave dyspraxia in isolation though, just one of the 'symptoms' can be not having a wholly dominant side. Often it's an early indicator with small children who haven't shown a dominant hand by about year 2 or so

I did some of those tests and I am actually a super recogniser of faces and scored really highly.

Oh that's interesting!
I am rt handed but eat left handed!

You are a high flying academic who can speak several languages. Most people who can plait hair with their eyes closed and pass a driving test first time would cut their hair plaiting hand off to be as clever as you! Don't be so hard on yourself!!

I have found my people!!! My family can't believe how bad I am at finding places, and then not finding them again later, even if I've been there loads of times. Strange thing is, if I'm not driving the car I can map read for whoever's driving (as long as I turn the map into the direction we're travelling) but if I have to map read and drive I can't do it. The minute I put the map down it goes straight out of my mind. If I ask for directions, the instructions go out of my head as soon as I've walked away. I have a friend who has lived in her house for 2/3 years and I can never go there the same way that I go home. I've tried it several times, as the way I go home would be an easier way to get to her house, can't do it.
I'm very left-handed, even though I'm predominantly right-handed, but more so because I slammed my hand in a car door when I was 10 so had to do things left-handed for 6 months.
Clumsy? Don't go there!

My mathematical skills aren't great, but I don't suppose that's linked.

I think it could be. A friend of mine struggled with maths in school but it was only when she did teacher training and was worrying about passing the compulsory maths test that anyone suggested she get checked out, and they decided she had dyspraxia. With hindsight, there were signs like her problems with telling left from right and difficulty with tying knots and bows, but no-one had put two and two together. She couldn't get her head round driving with manual gears at all, but did manage to learn on an automatic car and passed her test at the third attempt.

World's worst sense of direction here. I'm ok ish with a map if I'm heading north, but south .... I just can't do it.

My sat nav is like some crazy demented thing full of symbols and stuff which mean nothing to me.

I once tried to find a fairly local place and ended up in a different county, which involved a big bridge and toll booths. I recently stopped at services on the m25 with DS and ended up going back the way we'd come. Always been the same. I'm reasonably intelligent, have a degree and a demanding job. Just can't tell which way's up ...

I struggle with driving and plaits. Am meant to be learning both again. Bright at school, have a degree, can learn languages easily, take in a lot of information, do well at exams and coursework etc but find practical stuff harder xx

You sound like me. I'm clumsy and driving took years to get to grips with (still not very good now). Can't make things with my hands, plait hair and get lost all the time.

I'm not unintelligent though, at school was very good at writing, but very bad at maths.

My mum thought I might have dyspraxia (she's a teacher) but never got diagnosed or anything.

Nodding my head here at the left/right problem too! Forever putting my contacts in the wrong eyes.

Shakey I've come on this thread to say YES - I have no idea why stuff needs re-doing. Drives me insane. I'm the least routine-led person I know; I prefer to make it up as I go along. I feel trapped by routines; I used to change the furniture around in my bedroom every few months as a child.

On the other hand, I'm pretty good at lots of the things people have mentioned, I'm just an incorrigible slattern

Repetition, repetition, repetition that's the way I learn, especially with practical tasks same with 2of my DC. One diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia as it couldn't be denied but he was most def signs of being physically dyspraxic too. Maths a weak spot all round. I don't know if we are actually dyspraxic but we def. have a 'thing'. I remember as a child I used to think I thought backwards and one of my DC said when he was very small 'oops sorry I have my yellow brain in'... I've just learned to live with it

After I wrote my last post on this thread I went to move the vacuum cleaner from the hall as I thought DD might trip up over it...whereupon I got tangled up in the hose part, fell against the door and there was a scene of chaos resulting in a very sore foot... I did laugh though. I also hit a curb today on a corner I go round regularily (not funny but scarey) it's like every time is the first time. I find driving very very challenging but I simply have to at the minute. What's this 3D vision thing please? I did have an astignatism (spelling?) when I was younger. I find not having spatial awareness baffling.
I also get accused of being stupid/lazy/not concentrating when I am trying really hard and it's exhausting.
Previous poster...I still don't understand 'Pointless' and am not sure I want to tbh.

I have EDS and I have no sense of proprioception. I've never bothered learning to drive. It'd be awfully expensive and I sincerely doubt I'd ever manage it. I'm constantly covered in bruises from where I bump into things and sometimes my hands do things the wrong way round. Plaiting hair is an absolute nightmare of mine and I'm glad I have two boys who like their hair short. I also have short hair (pixie cut) and can barely manage to brush it.

Please don't be embarrassed. It's a genuine issue and nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you thick or crap or anything like that.

Fwiw, I'm intelligent and high achieving academically, but I still trip over my own feet on the stairs or walk into things a lot. My body just can't compute signals from the brain in the same way that most people's do. It's like trying to run something on a router where the wireless connection keeps dropping out.

If it's genuinely a concern and you want a reason for it, please ask your GP for advice or ask for a referral. I've adapted my life and house to my condition but if it's interfering with your life, then it won't hurt to try and get some answers. xxx

I don't particularly want to live with it either, just doesn't seem to be much choice in our case.. I have been to GP, Ed psych etc with youngest DC but unless symptoms are extreme and match very much with a certain checklist any kind of diagnosis is difficult, we don't seem to fit neatly into any box. My point was that repetition of the same task has really made a difference, especially with sport. Map reading etc is still a dead loss.