What do I do??

[fuzzywuzzy]

My Dh's nephew is here in england studying for his accountancy qualifications. He will sit (and most likely pass) the final exams this summer.

Dh's nephew is 20 years old, dh wanted him in england where he could keep an eye on him and ensure he got an education, as when he lived at home with his parents he would be out with friends at all times and he managed to spectacularly fail every single academic subject he took.
I think he has about one O level (his parents live in dubai and he was offered O levels there) and now will be a qualified acounts technician.

OK the problem is, that this nephew has now been under my roof for the past two years. The plan was that he would come over get his qualifications and go home and get a good job.
The reality appears to be that he has no intention of leaving the country, as he will have to go back to India, and doesn't want to.
Mainly as he has spent a lifetime looking down on his cousins who live in India and he clearly does not want to be on a equal level to them (although the cousins are lovely). My husband and his nephew appear to believe that nephew will get a job (I don't think that going to happen, he doesn't have the right visa for a start), and so the intention appears to be that he will continue studying indefinitely until he gets a job!!!!!

I want another baby, I want the nephew out of my house. I feel I have done enough, I have put up with this nephew for the past two years, and he is a stroppy, ill mannered so and so, who feel the words, sorry, please, and thankyou are beneath him to utter. He has atrocious manners all together, and he is getting on my nerves.

This is causing huge arguments between my husband and I, who it appears to me is spending all his time trying to find a job for the nephew, but can't be asked to help me find a good school for dd1 who is supposed to start reception in September..... I honestly think if this nephew stays in our tiny house for longer than agreed it will be the end of my marriage.
What do I do, can I write to the home office and inform them that we will not be responsible for the nephew once he has completed his final exams?? His current student visa expires in October and we are his sponsors, originally my husband had agreed that his nephew would leave the month after completing his final exams.
I am seriously considering taking my girls and walking out I have so completely had enough.

I've been trying to speak to my husband and being reasonable I've put up with various members of his family for three continuous years now.
I feel utterly taken for granted.

I even found my self having a hysterical tearful phone conversation with my husband whilst at work last week.....thank god I have the worlds most understanding boss!!!!

You and your children should not have to leave your family home over this.
The nephew is a grown man. He needs to sort out what he is going to do, and where, but your DH needs to accept that he cannot still live under your roof.
You have already done a lot for this young man - it's time he stood on his own two feet.

The thing that is causing the most arguments, is the dh doesn't appear to think we are doing anything for his nephew. He seems to be under the impression that all that I've done is nothing, that his nephew is helping us, by being around and keeping an eye on the girls for an hour occasionally whilst I get home from work.

I'm fed up with coooking continuously, and having no privacy..... I just want him out of my house.

Right, then, I'd go on strike. Leave dh to look after/put up with your nephew for a weekend. Go away with a friend or something. So dh sees what you have to deal with day in, day out. Leave dh with your kids too, btw, if you take them away he won't get the full effect.

I second what edam said, don't cook except for youself and your children. Don't do the shopping or the laundry, except for you and your dds. Don't tidy up after your nephew, just put his stuff in the bin if he leaves it lying around. Be stroppier and ruder than the nephew. This would really annoy me.

I agree with edam and bran arrange to go away for at least a weekend if you can do it go for a week so that your dh has to do all the things you do.

is it possible to talk to the nephews parents? your dh really needs to realise just how much impact this is having on you, and that he should be putting you and your dc's needs before his nephew.

wishing you loads of luck it sounds really stressful and you are a far better person than me to put up with it for so long

I did actually take myself and my girls to my mothers over christmas (which worked out about three weeks). I couldn't leave them behind......

My husband missed us, but nephew had rule of the house, and from the looks of the computer history he spent the entire three weeks on our PC, next time I'm putting a password on the computer before I go.

I spoke to my husband and informed him that I seriously will get a divorce over this matter and to consider the fact that he is effectively depriving his own girls of their father for his grown up nephew (I'm honestly out of my mind with anger tbh, besides which nephew has his own parents).
I also told him I'm not some unpaid skivvy, and my understanding of the nephew arrangement was that he would be under my roof till he finished these particular exams. Not spend a lifetime of studying.

Tbh I think he just feels he cant tell his sister that she has to put up with her own (very spoilt), but I refuse to help him out any more than I can, I think everyones expecting me to get him a job.....excuse me while I pass out with mirth (right like I'm going to have him follow me to work too)!!!!

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Reported for ZOMBIE thread