Is this weird/stalkerish or just friendly?

[SestraClone]

There is a man who gets on/off the same bus stop as me, then he lives in one direction and I live in another. I have seen him with his wife/partner and children in the local area. I have no idea what his name is or anything like that. I have never sat next to him, I am usually at the back and he sits at the front. I have never acknowledged him, ever, not even a friendly nod of recognition. I have seen him getting on/off the bus perhaps about 10 times in the last year, so it's not an every day occurrence.

Ok, now the weird bit. He has sent me a friend request on both Facebook and Instagram! Why? I am also a bit freaked out that he was able to find me/possibly looked for me on there. I have both set fairly privately, so only my name and profile pics can be seen on FB and only my user name & a generic pic on Instagram. No idea how he knows my name to find me in the first place, we don't appear to have any mutual friends.

AIBU to find it a bit weird or can someone offer up a reasonable explanation?

I have literally no idea who he is. I get a lot of packages through the post, but don't recognise him at all. He obviously knows where I live now as he delivers my mail and knows my name! The strong sexy women bit . Yuck.

I think if he has 1000s of Fb friends then it is normal for him, but if he only has 30 or so, it is a bit weird. I have a friend who makes films and I think he adds everyone in the city in the hope they will get all the things about his films that he posts and some will come and see it.

Very weird.

Avoid.

On a stalkerish level, he's followed you home and gone through your bins to find out your name.

However, logically, I expect he's come across you via a third party (perhaps you've commented on a friend of a friend's post that is a public profile so it has come up on his timeline and he has recognised you) or you're a member of a local interest/selling group and again he's recognised you.

Once you know someones name it is usually quite straightforward to find their instagram. Googling 'jane Doe instagram ' for example could bring up your profile

W-e-i-r-d.

OP - You are doing the right thing by not engaging with this guy. He's probably harmless & will most likely feel embarrassed that you haven't accepted his friend request & leave you alone now.

TheWitTank I honestly would urge you to report your mail man. He has used info to harass you that he's only privy to because of his job. I had a similar experience with a courier which went on to become over 3 years of harassment where I came to feel like a prisoner in my own home. Nip it in the bud now.

Thank you Ujayi -so sorry to hear of your bad experience! Luckily I haven't seen/heard from this guy since the last message (August) so hopefully he has given up as I haven't taken the bait and answered him. If I hear anything else I will definitely report. He must be 30 years older than me!

Regarding how he found your Instagram - Instagram is owned by Facebook and shares data. If you set both up using the same email it will link the accounts, so it's possible that while his request to you was pending on fb, Instagram may have suggested to him 'your fb friend xxx is on Instagram'