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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or is my friend?- Comment about cleaning

41 replies

NickyEds · 12/09/2016 11:12

I have a friend who brings her dc over to my house every now and then. I wouldn't say we were close but we get on and I like her. She is often quite complimentary about my house, comments that it's tidy etc. My house is just normal I would say, clean and organised but very definitely a house with two small dc in it! The last time she came over she said "oh your house is always so clean and tidy! You're so lucky that you enjoy cleaning, I wish I did but I always find something more interesting to do!", she said it in a bit of a pointed way. I have no fucking idea where she got the idea that I find cleaning interesting from

Would you take that comment as a bit of a dig? Or am I being a bit precious?

OP posts:

lavenderpekins · 12/09/2016 13:31

I'm sorry but it was definitely a dig op.

"I always find something more interesting to do".

Quite bitchy really. So you don't have interesting things to do so you clean?! Nice!

But ime I'd just forgive and forget if she's good company and the kids get on. 😁

MargotLovedTom · 12/09/2016 13:35

I bet she has the "Dull women have immaculate houses" fridge magnet .

hmcAsWas · 12/09/2016 13:38

Well you'll never know - as the posts above demonstrate this comment can be interpreted either as innocuous or as a pointed dig...I think its good to take away from this that if someone says something which causes you to bristle - seek clarification at the time. Something like "I don't really enjoy cleaning but its a necessary evil. You're not implying I'm boring are you?" (delivered with a disarming grin)

NoahVale · 12/09/2016 14:09

yes but I find lots to do instead of cleaning mainly mumsnet for example.

Original poster

NickyEds · 12/09/2016 14:39

I really hope that it was meaningless and she doesn't think I'm boring! She has made a few comments about me being a SAHP before but they have always been very jokey so hopefully this comment was meant in the same way. I tend to over think things like this.

OP posts:

Cellardoor23 · 12/09/2016 14:52

I love cleaning. My MIL has made the odd passing comment about my cleaning habits, but I haven't let it faze me. I don't care what other people think, it's my house! Don't worry about it, honestly.

CalmItKermitt · 12/09/2016 14:59

Well it's hard to say.

If I said it to someone it wouldn't be a dig.

However if someone meant it to be, it could be a dig.

You know her. We don't.

MargotLovedTom · 12/09/2016 15:01

Hmmm. What business is it of hers if you're a SAHM? Were those comments a bit loaded as well?

MargotLovedTom · 12/09/2016 15:02

I know you said they were jokey, but could they be taken two ways IYKWIM?

Birdsgottafly · 12/09/2016 15:11

"""Of course you have a lot more time than I do"
Ahem.
She is retired, has no children and makes herself busy to stay out of the house as it gets to her so much!""

I'm minimal (I follow the Marie Kondo method), so there's never clutter and it's clean, but now I don't have children, I don't have to sit in, because of bedtimes, so I've less time, as such, because I can suit myself to where I have to be and as you age, you realise that there'll come a time when you might not have the option to be out, so you start to make the most of it.

I always found that the more organised and on top of things you are, the more you can fit in.

eightbluebirds · 12/09/2016 15:12

It could have been a dig or she may have just phrased it badly, perhaps she means she a procrastinator.

JellyBelli · 12/09/2016 15:18

Its a dig, a 'jellyfish' if you read Bridget Jones. Its a bit silly say you are lucky top have a clean house unless you actually have elves.

altiara · 12/09/2016 15:57

Sounds like a dig. As jellybelli says- you're not lucky as you don't have elves!

Badders123 · 12/09/2016 16:13

She moans constantly how busy she is...even showing my her diary to prove it.
Butt as I say, it's to escape her tip of a house, not because she is doing enjoyable things.
I'm a bit worried about her MH tbh.

gemmawinegum · 12/09/2016 16:20

I would take that comment as a dig to be honest. That she chose to use the word 'interesting' I would be taking the comment as a dig to be honest. If she said 'i wish i had the time to clean' then yeah the comment would have gone over my head. I would have said to her 'i would be so embarrassed if i ever got to lazy to find ten minutes to wash the dishes, clean the loo and pick stuff off the lounge floor' and then got her in a headlock and thrown her out the front door head first

Creativemode · 12/09/2016 16:54

I definitely think she just phrased it badly.

I'm sure I've said to people I need to clean but I'd rather watch tv/go out/play with the dc, in other words do something more interesting.

I don't actually think people with tidy houses have no lives, I'm just excusing my own mess.

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