to feel sorry for today's university students?

[Lucydogz]

I live in a city with a couple of big universities, so this last weekend the place was full of new students finding their way around, most of them with mummy and daddy. When I started uni (admittedly decades ago) you were put on the train with your bags and left to it. It was sometimes hard and lonely, but I don't think having my parents along would have helped. Why do parents have to be so involved these days?
Plus (while I'm on the subject) student halls of residence used to be pretty spartan - shared bathrooms for the landing, and one TV, in the Common Room. Even if you were shy, you couldn't hide in your room all day. Now they seem to live in little pods and never need to actually socialise.
I expect I'll be flamed about this, but doesn't anyone else think that student life was better in the past (and that's without the issue of loans)

Oreo I was a receptionist in halls and had a parent phone me once and insist I knocked on her PFB's door to wake him up so he didn't miss his exam.

I remember my first night in uni halls which was basically a huge piss up in the halls of residence bar. Some poor sod had his parents in tow who insisted on sticking around for a few drinks. It was embarrassing as the mum was seen moaning to the barman that the wine selection was not very good (it was a basic manky bar) and it got worse when the dad thought he would hit the dance floor. The poor lad just wanted the ground to swallow him up. He is still a mate and he still has the nickname SDD (Son of Dad Dance)

I was dropped off 30 years ago- dps buffered off pronto fortunately. I've delivered 2 to halls over the last few years and yes, they are more podlike and I'd imagine it's harder to make friends. I think it's because if the fire doors- there never seem to be more than 4 rooms together.
But! They have social media now, they wassapp each other before going for brunch and it's probably easier now than ever before to find your 'people'.

My parents dropped me off but left soon after!! We didn't have phones but some people brought a TV along which I thought was the height of luxury! I didn't spend any time alone in my room, we just met other people and went to the bar or each others rooms.

I feel sorry for today's students for many things, and this is one of them OP, though I wouldn't describe it so brutally as you.

My dad dropped me off at the beginning of year 1, and helped me to move my stuff from halls to house at the end of that year. Other holidays involved me taking the train home across 3 countries with bags etc. It was part of growing up! Agree one small single room, communal bathrooms, kitchen etc.

I remember my first night in uni halls which was basically a huge piss up in the halls of residence bar. Some poor sod had his parents in tow who insisted on sticking around for a few drinks. It was embarrassing as the mum was seen moaning to the barman that the wine selection was not very good (it was a basic manky bar) and it got worse when the dad thought he would hit the dance floor. The poor lad just wanted the ground to swallow him up. He is still a mate and he still has the nickname SDD (Son of Dad Dance)

Oh my god, that's the very definition of "lack of social boundaries". That poor lad :(

Ah good, another thing I did wrong according to MN!

My DD started last weekend, both me and her dad helped her with moving her stuff in and stayed around for a while unpacking then took her out for dinner before we drove the 200 miles home.

^^and I should add she isn't pampered with en-suites/catered halls, she's in hall's with a single room, shared kitchen/bathroom.

Meh I drop my kids. Why not? It's a kind thing to do. I like them. It's no hardship to me. Dump their stuff, buy some food, lunch out and then go. They're on their own til ChrIstmas - when they can get the train home as they haven't got so much stuff to lug. Why wouldn't you do a favour for any adult you liked? Plus it's interesting to see what I'm spending my money on (many parents pay the rent). I think students these days can be more isolated tbh - all rooms have heavy fire doors, kids watch tv on their laptops in their rooms, no bonding in the queue for the communal phone, or loos...

I live in a uni city (came here as a student as stayed) and the biggest change I've noticed is in the student houses. They now all seem to be "all inclusive" deals, so the students just pay rent to the letting agency inclusive of all utilities, Internet, cable TV etc. I think it robs them of a massive learning opportunity, having your own house and sorting out the gas bill / TV licence etc is one of those things you learn as a student!

My mother didn't take me despite the fact I went through clearing and had no accommodation sorted, just had to turn up at accommodation office, was given a bed in a dormitory with 30 others.
Cannot imagine dispatching my child on a train to a city 6 hours away where they have nowhere to live or sleep for the night.
We are nc now, not because of that, but I look back in it now and think it was a bit uncaring

I don't think anyone is a ' fully formed adult ' at 18 years old.
Whilst accommodation is more luxurious now, let's not forget the MASSIVE rise in tuition fees that students have to pay today.
I am not sure the point you are making? Do you think it strange that parents may want to transport their offspring and help them move in?
Or do you think that having an en suite bathroom will somehow make for a less fulfilling university experience? Either way YABVU.

I'm so old I went to a polytechnic. Went straight into a room rental in dodgy house as I thought halls were too expensive, made my own way by train, two suitcases as I recall, bought pots and pans etc from charity shops as there were no spares at home I could take and it never occurred to me to buy new. However, some students got driven by their parents, but for a lot it was never going to happen as their families couldn't afford cars. I think in most cases we were the first generation to go to 'uni', so there was no precedents set, you just turned up and got on with it. My own children have massive debts to pay off, I got a grant cheque each term and could sign-on during the holidays!
Most of my peers who didn't go to 6th form and hence college were settling down, some were even married by the time I started a degree. You were very much expected to join the adult world at 18, some of the lads were already off killing people around the world with the army.

Ha, the things my kids have learnt is don't put your name on the utilities account because getting your housemates to cough up their share is a lesson in itself.

My last DD is off to Uni in 2 weeks. The cost of the accommodation is higher than her loan. I'm pretty sure they all were.

Yup we're dropping her off. Yup I'll cry buckets and will miss her, but I did the same for DD1 11 years ago. She survived, hasn't been scarred by it. I didn't think it was 'pampering ' her, I thought it was just what you did for your 18 year old child.

Ive 2 DDs who have just finished Uni. Yes on their 1st day I did drive them up to Uni and move their stuff in, yes we talked on the 'phone whilst they were at Uni. I didnt visit much but they came home in the holidays sometimes.. I was a listening ear at 4am when they were having meltdowns due to deadlines exams and a shitload of work. If I sensed they were mega-busy Id do an online food shop for them from time to time to help with time management, as they both worked right through Uni too. Just little things from time to time to make them feel better

None of this rendered them incapable of socialising and meeting new friends, and completing their studies. Theyre back home now, both working, between that and their socialising etc I barely see them. They can stay home until they've finished saving for a deposit re buying a flat Im perfectly happy for them to do so.

What is wrong with caring for your DCs and being there for them in ways that you can? What point is there to prove by being so quick to abandon them to adult life, worries etc, when you know you can hopefully make life a little easier? Id be a listening ear for a mate feeling overwhelmed, if a mate had to move a load of stuff somewhere and needed help then I would help; is it supposed to be different for DCs?

Im not in competition with my DDs and had no axe to grind about them being at Uni. Honestly? I was at Uni in the 80s and sailed through. No high Uni fees to worry about, no student loans repayments to think about. I had a Saturday job, and in the holidays I could top up my hours and earn more. & on top of all that I got a student grant

I commend young students now because theyre in a very stressful world and seem to get lot of flak from people invested in implying that unless theyre forced to slum it and go through hardships whilst studying, then they''re somehow not worthy. Smacks of envy somehow. Strange

I had to take myself off to my London uni despite never having visited before (London or the uni). I was packed off on the train from rural Wales with my bike and a backpack. Had to cross from Euston to Waterloo on my bike using the A-Z, that was a real eye opener!
Got there safely in the end though, and it played no small part in my growing up - I blossomed at uni from a shy quiet child to an outgoing confident adult.

Hmm, I disagree and think OP might have a touch of 'in-my-day' syndrome .

We dropped DD off two years ago to begin her degree. Drove her there, helped her unload stuff into her tiny dorm room then left.

Her shared flat in halls had four bedrooms, a kitchen with a table & four chairs and a shared bathroom. That's it - no common room, nowhere for students to meet, watch telly, sit on a sofa. Her room had a bed, a desk and a wardrobe - there was no space for anything else at all.

From her description I think maybe the OP is looking at students who are at the wealthier end of the student spectrum and making the mistake of equating their pampered experience to that of ALL students?

In the 1980's I recall there being some scandal about an MP's daughter who was at Oxford and being done for dealing drugs or some such - Olivia Something? It was reported that she had an allowance of £22k p.a.. I recall clearly being so shocked at that, but clearly there has always been a cohort of wealthy students whose Uni experience is utterly different from that of the majority.

I think it's a huge struggle for students today, with the pressure to take on part-time jobs to reduce the roughly £50k of debt they'll have when they leave, but I don't see any of my DD's friends being chaperoned by their parents beyond the first day of getting there and getting in, and a lot of their halls are more spartan that those described byOP in her fond reminiscence. So I think on balance YABU - they're having just as much fun, with just as much independence (maybe more in some cases), and in just as spartan conditions as the OP recalls in her fond reminiscences.

Wow, sneery much, OP? I'm probably of the same uni-going generation as you (graduated 1992), my parents still took me to uni. Obviously nowhere like as much contact then as now, but equally huge fees/debts weren't part of the picture either.

Oh, and I could easily hide in my room all day, in fact, I did, quite often. I found the first term pretty hard. Very shy, quite sheltered.

Went to Uni in 1991.
Student Loan.
Got off train with nowhere to live.
Found Halls.
Went to local pub.
Identified Hall 'manager'.
Bought him copious beer, told him my sob story, and extracted a promise.
Found a B&B for that night.
Moved into Halls next day.
I was very lucky to get a single room.
Shared showers/loos - 1 on each floor.
Queue for payphones.
Food was in dining hall but was literally inedible (old/rotten veg/fruit and LOTS of soggy pasta) so I bought a fridge and microwave and put them in my room (I had been told how to 'adjust' the meter).
I put a sheet over them and bought the lady who came to clean a nice gift at Christmas.
We had to move all our stuff out at Xmas and Easter tho as the rooms were let to corporate bods (horrible rooms but right next to Edinburgh Castle!).
Happy Days.

I'd much rather have had lovely parents to drive me /chum me up, and help me settle and take me out for a bite to eat, but my parents aren't like that.

Yy it's much harder today -
but that is down to debt and job market not fuss-bunny parents.

my boyfriend drove me to my poly in '89 as my parents didn't drive, i was unusual for a first year, by year 4 well different story.

I travelled by myself to Cambridge from N. Ireland in 1988, but I was the only person I knew who did that. I don't remember whether/how much the other students' parents hung around, though.

I was dropped off by my parents at uni in 1980. They came and collected me too. I never went by public transport ever.

We took DD1 when she went off 6 years ago. Dropped her then left her to it. Her accommodation was really awful but it was very sociable, she had a great time and certainly dod not cocoon herself away in a pod!

DD2 goes next weekend. She is going 400 miles away so we are making a bit of a long weekend of it. The dropping off part i expect to take no longer than an hour. She is in a very utilitarian 60’s built halls, single room, no basin. It is catered so at least she doesn’t need cooking equipment. I don’t think she will be living in the lap of luxury and as she knows no-one else who is going to that uni she will have to work at making friends. I don’t feel sorry for her, i feel excited for her.