To be fuming DH's cousin just asked me to buy nappies off her

[Warl]

I cba to go in to every detail about DH's family but I am beyond irked right now & need to vent
His cousin has just ask what size nappies my DD is in as her DD is now dry (3 months older than my DD) so anyway same size she said 'oh cos I've got an unopened pack but asda will only give me £9 back as I got them in a 2 for £18 offer so if you want to give me £9 for them you might as well have them)
All sounds reasonable I guess until you factor in that when we moved into a new house we gave her the full kitchen when we replaced it, all cupboard fronts, the oven, washing machine, then shortly after I put some bedroom furniture on fb for sale 2 wardrobes, 2 chests of drawers & a bed, which she got in touch & asked if could have DH said it didn't matter about the money for them. Although second hand there was nothing wrong with any of it, she did bloody well!
And then she turns round & says this about the nappies, I said I've got a lot as I bought in bulk so don't need them but I am so annoyed right now, AIBU i just feel like she's totally taking the piss??

I hate when people pull stuff like this. If they are hard up and apologetic about asking then I'll give money for something without question, but if they act like they are doing me a favour then it gets my back right up. It shows that a) they are not the type to give without expecting to receive something and b) it implies that they must think you're a bit of an idiot for having freely given in the past.

Unless there are evident Circumstances at play, people like this never get anything from me ever again unless payment is involved.

Haggle with her £6 l. Some people !

Cheeky madam. I'd say something.

Or sneak in in the dead of the night and take back the kitchen.

Well done with the quick reply. Reminds me of a friend - if I owed her £10.20 she would want the exact amount...I'd just say 'give me £10'

In the grand scheme of things, is it worth the fall out? Chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and move on.

I read this differently.
She went to get her money back from the shop, she found they'd only give half the money back. She could have swapped it there and then, and presumably as she was there would have been less hassle for her.
But she thinks "I know, if I offer it to someone else for half price then they might appreciate it."
She was trying to be nice and when I've had similar then I've appreciated it.

Maybe she is skint but in that case she could have taken them back to the shop and not mentioned it to you. It's taking the piss to charge you for something so small when you've given her so much for free. I'd probably distance myself from her and definitely never give her anything again. If she asks for something, bill her!

Bunty

I can just imagine Warl as the kitchen light flicks on. Dressed like the Blackmagic (or was it Dairybox?!) chocs man with a leg out the kitchen window and a kitchen cupboard door under her arm

As a PP said she's done you a favour and has shown you what she's really like.

She's not passing on the half price, she's getting back what she paid for them! Totally irrelevant anyway - the point is op has given so much to this woman in the past and the woman wouldn't even give her £9 worth of nappies. If she needs the money she can get it from Asda.

Can you even return nappies?

Why don't you say something to her so perhaps she thinks about generosity in the future? Otherwise she will just keep on doing this to you or other people. People like this never figure it out for themselves.

Very cheeky ask you, considering all you have done for her. If she needs the money so desparately, she can go to Asda and get some money back.

After we gave you a whole new kitchen and bedroom furniture for free,

..but it was not an old kitchen that you didn't want any more and would have probably otherwise had to pay to get someone to take it away.

Sounds like my SIL - she offered to sell us the baby curtains and bedding that we gave her at her request when her first child was born. She was getting rid when her second child was too old for them. By that time my youngest were no longer babies either, but it was the fact she wanted money for them that was cheeky.

sneak in in the dead of the night and take back the kitchen.

Hee hee.

Some people pride themselves on being 'economical' and done realise they are just fucking tight 😂

The other side of the coin, though, is that although you've been really generous to her (kitchen, appliances etc) this doesn't make her any less skint, iyswim? So doesn't negate the fact that she may need the money for the nappies she's not using?

Another SIL story. When DH and I first moved into our new house she was very keen to sell us her old gas cooker, and DJ was very keen to take her up on the offer. I didn't see the point, it was no better than the one that was already in place and to have bought hers would have meant hiring a van to transport it 20 miles, and paid for connection, as well as disconnection and disposal of the existing one.

We didn't buy it. It took me a few years to realise that SIL is a free-loader who expects hand-outs from her family. There was an expectation that we would buy her cooker simply to help her out.

OP YANBU. Her financial situation would have to be really dire for her not to be able to take the hit on £9 of nappies; giving them to you would be a nice goodwill gesture.
Because you have helped her out in the past she now clearly sees you in the role of wealthy family members - it will never be a 2-way thing.

She she's you as a money ticket.

I would learn a lesson from this and avoid her

Personally I'd rather pay twice as much at a shop than buy them off her with her attitude. (Yes - i know - face, cut off, nose, spite, to - rearrange these words etc)

I think I might say "No thanks - by the way, when offered you our kitchen and bedroom stuff, we could have got £x for it - when would you like to give us the money?"

I can see that it's annoying, but you didn't want anything for the stuff that you gave her, and she does want money for the nappies

"Today 12:12 Cocklodger

Mum helped me out massively when I was skint and on my ass.
A couple of years down the line we bought a new car (No longer so skint) and our old one was up for sale, Mum needed a car after hers suddenly broke down and would've been ££££ to fix, she didn't have the money there and then to fix or buy new.
Mum was given my old car completely free.
I couldn't have charged her a tenner for a car I was selling for £1000. She had done so much for me.
I cannot imagine charging her £9 for a pack of nappies."

PLEASE tell me you gave it to her with a joke about Car-ma paying off??!

Also you did a wonderful thing and the OP is definitely not being unreasonable.

a7mints
They also gave her working appliances, which they could have resold and bedroom furniture they were planning to sell, it wasn't rubbish that she did them a favour by taking away, it had a monetary value that they waived to do her a favour.

I'm guessing you didn't give her the kitchen, appliances and bedroom furniture for free because she's made of money? So maybe she can't afford to lose the GBP9.00 and she also thought, as you use the nappies it might help you out too......

Would Asda actually have given her half the money back? I would have thought they would only give her the difference between £18 and one pack of nappies (I guess maybe £6).