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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find CBBC's 'Just a Girl' programme re a transgender child inappropriate?

234 replies

PatButchersEarring · 10/09/2016 09:15

..totally prepared to be told I am being U on this one, but...

My 7 year old daughter is currently watching 'Just a Girl' on CBBC. This seems to be a dramatisation about a pre-teen, transgender girl- so born a born, but living as a girl. Also either currently or looking into taking hormone blockers.

AIBU to think this is an inappropriate topic for a young age group?

OP posts:
WellErrr · 10/09/2016 10:12

It's completely inappropriate.

HomeShapedBox · 10/09/2016 10:12

YANBU.

Sara107 · 10/09/2016 10:12

I haven't seen this, but I wonder if my nearly 7 year old was watching it? She has started tuning in to CBBBC recently as CBEEBIES is getting a bit babyish. She was telling me about a child who had changed gender (my interpretation of her words). I can't comment on the programme content or handling of the topic but I don't think the topic itself is inappropriate. There are transgender children (I know there are debates around the medical treatment in children, but that does not remove the fact that there are children who look like boys but identify as girls and vice versa). I think it is fine for my dD to see this and understand it as normality, as this is something she will come across in society later. I hope that she grows up with an accepting attitude.
Herroyalfattyness, I do agree with you absolutely, but I am truly horrified by the amount of gender stereotyping that my child encounters at school from the other kids who presumably get it from home. She has come home time after time saying things that make my jaw drop like 'girls can't be doctors', 'boys can't be dancers', 'girls can't play football', 'my water bottle is a boys bottle (dinosaurs)'. Recently she came home and asked 'what is a tomboy?'. This had been said about an older girl who always wears trousers / shorts and likes being out on her bike and skateboard. I can't believe that people are still using terms like that. In such a polarised gender environment I imagine it is terribly hard for children to be gender neutral.

formerbabe · 10/09/2016 10:13

i knew a kid who used to wear an alice band in primarily and told everyone he was a girl, hmm, he is now 19, very much a man and is dad to a little dd, he laughs about it now and calls it his 'rebellious phase

I remember a girl at school who dressed like a boy, called herself a boys name, cut her hair in a very short style...she looks like a completely average woman now, married with kids.

I don't deny the existence of transgender people but I do question the numbers.

Catsize · 10/09/2016 10:15

Good post music.

ageingrunner · 10/09/2016 10:15

It's is actually possible to not want your child to think that bring trans is normal and even desirable, while still teaching them that they can be inclusive and tolerant towards children and adults who are trans.
There are plenty of parents who have concerns about the way the trans narrative seems to suddenly be everywhere, and the increase in the number of children who are being referred to the Tavistock clinic. These parents are not teaching their kids to beat up trans people or call them names. They just don't want their own kids to think that if they like pink/blue, they must be the opposite sex.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 10/09/2016 10:16

Yes, Nina. Saying that trans people should be treated with the same respect as any other adult is not the same as endorsing transition for kids just because they like toys and clothes directed at the other sex.

mollie123 · 10/09/2016 10:21

shut
The earlier you teach your children that everyone is different and that nobody is 'normal' the better
the first bit of that sentence - fine
but 'nobody is normal' - that takes the Biscuit
yes everyone is differant - vive la differance - but when will this labelling of individual human beings especially with children stop being so divisive. We are all human - that is the normal. The quirks and likes of our lives do not make us abnormal (if you insist no-one is normal).
Have to say it - only on MN - so I should not be surprised.

DallowSpicerPinkieCubitt · 10/09/2016 10:24

Of course it's fine for boys to wear dresses and girls to have short hair etc.

Of course we should teach our children to accept boys in dresses and girls with short hair etc

That doesn't mean we accept the narrative that only girls wear dresses so therefore a boy in a dress must actually be a girl!! That's ridiculous.

Accepting differences in people's preferences of activities, and how to dress, that goes against what society ferns suitable is brilliant.

But telling those children that they are born in the wrong body (there's no evidence for gendered brains btw) and putting them on hormones and a path to surgery is abusive.

Just accept boys in dresses and girls with short hair ffs!

eyebrowsonfleek · 10/09/2016 10:25

There are children starting to identify as transgender at her age so if there was such a child in her class then I wouldn't mind. I worry about "pink culture" and have had many conversations about it. I can't comment on the actual programme as I've not seen it.

The other channels that 7 year old girls often watch are Nick or Disney Channel which is often dross. (Strangely the animated material like Sponge Bob and Phineas and Ferb are much better) I remember how happy I was when dd moved from Disney Channel to Cartoon Network.

MrsUnderwood · 10/09/2016 10:27

Oh for fuck's sake! Why are they reinforcing bullshit gender stereotypes like this? It's really damaging. It would be much healthier to show children of both sexes playing with a range of toys and dressing in whatever they like. My DDs best friend is a 4 year old little boy who loves wearing princess dresses. He's not a girl- he's just a kid that's really into Frozen! Meanwhile my daughter runs around wielding a battle axe. I really hope this stupid message doesn't contaminate them and make them think they need to permanently damage or mutilate their bodies in order to confirm to bullshit societal norms.

DailyFailAteMyFish · 10/09/2016 10:30

5 year old boy identifies as a girl? Or perhaps he is a five year old.

Sigh.

greenfolder · 10/09/2016 10:33

I would want to be around to explain or answer questions. I have a dneice (wrong phrae) who is gender neutral and has changed her name. My kids got their heads round it quicker than me though!

DallowSpicerPinkieCubitt · 10/09/2016 10:33

Eyebrowsonfleek what does identifying as transgender mean? Do you mean a boy likes dresses and is told "dresses are for girls, you must be a girl" and given hormones and eventual surgery ? Are you ok with that? How about if he's told "fine wear what you want" instead and avoids the hormones and surgery or at least waits until his personality is fixed and he's old enough to decide properly for himself!

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 10/09/2016 10:34

If we lived in a society where it was acceptable for any men to go full Izzard,

Absolutely. A member of my family is full izzard (we call it that as well Grin) and I bloody love him for it. The kids have never mentioned it at all and there are a LOT of kids in our family. It shows them that you can be who you want to be.

I think gender is very fluid in puberty and we should just encourage kids to experiment and find out who they want to be without hormones and labels.

I think this kind of documentary could be useful to some people but I wouldn't let my kids watch it as I think it would just confuse them.

There's a f-m Trans in my eldest's secondary school. No one has made a big deal and The kids seem to just be either non plussed or jealous because they also want to wear pants...

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 10/09/2016 10:37

Absolutely what agingrunner says.

Batteriesallgone · 10/09/2016 10:41

It is important for children to know what's going on in the world around them... but I'm not sure I'd have much faith in the topic being handled in a way I agree with by the BBC. Tricky.

Cisoff · 10/09/2016 10:42

I'd let my kids watch it and I'd use it as a learning experience.

I'd teach them that there isn't a difference between a 'girl' brain and a 'boy' brain. I'd teach them about XX and XY chromosomes, and which set had penises and which set had vaginas, and that it was basic biology that you could never, ever change that.

I'd teach them that surgery hormones could only mimic the opposite sex at best, and at worst, necessitate a lifetime on medication, with irreversible bodily mutilation as a bonus.

I'd teach them little Johnny wanting to play princess and liking pink wasn't the first clue of his transgenderism, despite what his parents might say. It was simply the first clue that he liked pink princessy things. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'd teach them that society screams at little Johnny "but only girls like pink and princesses" so it's no wonder that he thinks he must be one. But he isn't.

MrsDeVere · 10/09/2016 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DallowSpicerPinkieCubitt · 10/09/2016 10:44

Applauds Cisoff

Tarttlet · 10/09/2016 10:44

Are people aware that transgender children often experience extreme and distressing dysphoria? I have no idea what narrative this programme is telling, but I do know that transgender children are often highly distressed by their bodies, even to the extent of trying to cut their genitals off with scissors (!!!). For a child with feelings as extreme as those, going through puberty and developing "naturally", as one poster put it, would be torture. No child is being given hormone blockers simply because they like pink or Frozen - the counselling process is extensive.

PinkyOfPie · 10/09/2016 10:44

I'd love to hear an explanation as to why these poor children aren't just a boy who likes things that are marketed to girls. Never heard one yet. It's child abuse, and completely depressing that after women worked so hard for so long to undo gender stereotypes and labelling of what women should do and what men should do, that we are now going head first in the completely opposite direction, and calling it 'progress'

scatterolight · 10/09/2016 10:44

Completely inappropriate. Please turn it off. Our kids need protecting from this nonsense. I do wonder what is behind the push for this agenda / industry. Someone must be benefitting somewhere and it certainly isn't children.

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs · 10/09/2016 10:46

Izzard has now declared that he's a bit boy & a bit girl, and it's the girly bit that makes him like wearing heels Hmm.

There's a "brainsexometer" in the Science Museum now, aimed at children, that tells them whether they have a boy brain (good at maths etc) or a girl brain (caring, likes being pretty).

The whole concept of gender identity is poisonous shit which is setting feminism back by decades.

WaitrosePigeon · 10/09/2016 10:46

It's inappropriate and my children wouldn't be watching it.