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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MENOPAUSE OR NOT?

69 replies

Lissiluffman · 10/09/2016 02:30

I am about to turn 48 in a few weeks. My periods have always since day one been regular as clockwork, 28 days on the dot and normal flow with usual cramping.....and nothing has changed, they are still spot on!
BUT....I am extremely bloated, I look about 6 months pregnant all the bloody time and my boobs are sooooo tender and swollen (I dont mind the swollen bit, that can stay!) and all the veins have popped out, they are unbearable and my granddaughter seems to think they only there to help her to get up, which she does by digging her elbows in them really hard, and all the time....OUCH!
So, everyone is telling me AND i am reading it everywhere online that first menopause symptom is stopped periods. So what is going on? Am I menopausal or not and if not what the frick is going on with my bappy's??? Any ideas? I don't do doctors.....

OP posts:
Squeegle · 11/09/2016 13:41

Yes. Please go to the doctor. We all die of something - even those with "epic genetics". If you don't want advice, don't ask for it on an Internet forum.

Cisoff · 11/09/2016 13:41

The last person I knew who treated themselves with natural remedies died in a shithole clinic in Mexico 3 weeks ago, leaving her 2 children motherless.

Gerson therapy FTW!

BewtySkoolDropowt · 11/09/2016 13:41

So you don't need a doctor, but you would rather seek the advice of a forum full of people that a) don't know you and b) most don't have medical qualifications?

Okaaaaay then.

yeOldeTrout · 11/09/2016 13:53

I gather menop is very different for each individual. Personally I also think there's such a thing as "getting older" which is when our bodies will change. We should expect no different.

Are you already doing the obvious healthy life style stuff: no smoking, lots of exercise, lots of fruit+veg, good sleep hygiene, minimal alcohol?, don't sweat the small stuff? I have a pet theory that those things become especially big impact for health of people age 40+.

I agree that bloating isn't great, but I've had it in past & it went away again so it doesn't scream anything interesting to me.

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 11/09/2016 14:00

"I haven't seen a doctor for 15 years I self diagnose and self treat with natural remedies that really work",

But you're not are you ? You're asking some random people on the internet to diagnose you.

TroysMammy · 11/09/2016 14:07

I'm 48, I get bloating occasionally. I was told years ago I had IBS but no proper tests done. I get it if I eat too much bread, lettuce and onions or just too much of everything. I understand coming and going bloating occasionally is nothing sinister.

Over the last few months I've had extremely sore boobs and nipples twice. Couldn't touch them, it lasted about 5 days each time. I don't get periods because I'm on Cerrelle so the symptoms are not linked to my cycle.

I would go to the Doctors just to put your mind at rest and confirm that they are peri menopause symptoms which I expect they are and hopefully they will be the only ones you have.

Crispbutty · 11/09/2016 14:14

Well she isnt going to go to the doctors, as she self diagnoses and treats herself, so why she has asked opinions on here I have no idea at all.

And how the OP can know without certainty that she hasnt got any other underlying illness, but isnt sure if her symptoms could be the menopause, then her medical knowledge seems a bit lacking to me.

limon · 11/09/2016 14:16

It's absolutely possible. You are probably in peri menopause. I am and without the Coil my periods are 28 days like clockwork. Me opause is when you haven't had a period for a year. Perimenopaus is when your hormones begin to deplete

Marynary · 11/09/2016 14:33

If you were certain your symptoms are due to the menopause why are you asking if the are due to the menopause in the first place?Hmm
Clearly bloating can occur if hormones are going up or down, as with PMT but you said you were extremely bloated and looked six months pregnant which seems rather excessive and it could be a sign of something else, particularly as your periods are still regular and there is nothing else (apart from your age) to suggest you are menopausal?

hooliodancer · 11/09/2016 14:52

Yes, that happened to me., at that age. Have you got The Rage and dreadful clumsiness ? These were awful for me.

My periods are now very irregular 2 years later, bit I still look 6 months pregnant. I have put on 2 stone with no changes to eating or exercise. It's shit.

So I would say you are entering perimenopause, yes. Doctor probably won't prescribe HRT unless your symptoms are very bad, from what I have read.

Summerwood1 · 11/09/2016 15:09

They are not menopause symptoms at all. I'd be making an appointment with the doctor asap but it's your call.

Dorje · 11/09/2016 15:14

Well OP you certainly sound bad tempered enough to be menopausal! Wink

I had that myself, until I went to my doctor and she gave me a blood test to rule out anything else, like cancer, and she was then able to diagnose me as having started my menopause,. She also gave me a full examination, which ruled out anything, like, you know, cancer.

If you want to sit in misery being snippy with random people on the Internet, and have your enlarged tits poked by your granddaughter (while you could have ovarian cancer), that's up to you.

Personally I find hrt has helped me tremendously, but I had to go to a doctor and get prescribed. That's how it works.

If you're dead certain against going to a professional health care practitioner, OP, maybe you could polish up a crystal, align yourself with the west wind on a full moon and eat your homeopathic lentils. Who knows, it might even be better than arguing with a bunch of vipers on the Internet Grin

Not quite correct hooliodancer, even disturbed sleep, changes to your body and weight, grumpiness with patchy periods can be diagnosed as meno with a blood test and examination and hrt can be prescribed.

You don't need to crawl in to your GP, divorce papers in your sweaty hand weeping, raging, and at the end of your tether, if you go to your doctor and discuss symptoms. Maybe your thyroid has packed in, but you won't know until you see a doctor, and been diagnosed.

There is a menopause section on mumsnet. There are a lot of lovely experienced ladies over there who are sharing their experiences.

All of them say go to a doctor first as you need to be seen if things are changing and you can't find out the reason why, as it could be something more serious, like ovarian cancer and no one can diagnose from behind a screen.

Pineapplemilkshake · 11/09/2016 15:55

You sound bonkers. Obviously it's your choice whether to seek medical attention, but seems crazy to respect strangers' opinions on the internet more than medical professionals. But that's your choice.

I'd want to get some bloodwork checked with those symptoms if it were me. It could be absolutely nothing, or maybe the start of the peri menopause. It could also be an under active thyroid, or as another poster mentioned, a small chance of sonethibg more sinister. But as I said, it's your lookout whether you want to pursue this.

Topseyt · 11/09/2016 16:41

You sound like a fruit loop.

My MIL self-diagnosed and got it very very wrong. She was a nurse all of her working life too.

You want us all on here to say unequivocally "yes, absolutely menopause or perimenopause", so that you can plough on ahead with your quackery natural remedies. Few people will. Most of us are not medically trained, though there are some doctors who use the site.

It would be irresponsible to offer that reassurance. What if you accepted it but it turned out to be wrong and you exacerbated your symptoms, with potentially bad consequences?

Nobody with an ounce of common sense wants to have that on their conscience, therefore the only sane and sensible advice is to see a doctor.

You get no medals for not having seen a doctor in 15 years.

If I had refused to see a doctor for everything that has ever happened to me in that length of time I wouldn't be around now myself.

hooliodancer · 12/09/2016 08:51

I was just answering your first query, I hadn't read the rest of the thread. I do think that most people (in my experience of friends) don't get perimenopause diagnosed by a doctor. However, rejecting any idea of seeing a doctor is questionable I think.

A close relative of mine died in April. She was very proud of not taking medicine or seeing doctors. She hadn't been to the doctor for 42 years. She had a totally treatable illness. But because she didn't get it treated it killed her.

Her children and husband are devestated and utterly broken by her death. She should have had 20 plus years to live. For some reason she chose to ignore her symptoms. I think possibly because she didn't like doctors.

DoreenLethal · 12/09/2016 09:35

Please stop talking me to go to the doctor and then stating some awful possibility, it's not helpful! I haven't seen a doctor for 15 years I self diagnose and self treat with natural remedies that really work,

Well, without sounding like a complete know it all - I was stopped from having tests regarding the menopause due to have one early, and since I went on the patches my life has completely changed. 7 years I've had the menopause and could hardly walk up the stairs at the end of the day. Now I positively bounce up to bed, and I've even had sleeps of over 5 hours [I was lucky to get more than 4 just 2 months ago].

Don't be a knob about it - we can't diagnose on here and the only way to tell is to have a hormone check.

Marynary · 12/09/2016 09:45

I was just answering your first query, I hadn't read the rest of the thread. I do think that most people (in my experience of friends) don't get perimenopause diagnosed by a doctor.

That is true but most people would see a doctor if they weren't sure that their symptoms were due to menopause/perimenopause as in OP's case. I am going through menopause and am getting hot flushes and no periods. I have no other symptoms and considering my age, I don't think I need to see a doctor to confirm menopause. If I was so bloated that I looked 6 months pregnant I would go to the doctor ASAP in case it was something else.

DianaMitford · 12/09/2016 09:55

You are ridiculous.

Dorje · 12/09/2016 12:20

You know no one gets any medals for grinning and bearing the menopause?

If you have any menopause or perimenopause symptoms, I recommend seeing your doctor and having a blood test. That will check your thyroid levels as well as your fsh levels.

HRT comes in very modern applications now and is very well tolerated. It's not a one size fits all.
NICE recommends it for maintaining bone density, stopping hot flashes and for ensuring you get enough sleep (which can save your sanity and marriage Grin )

You dont have to just suffer hot flashes and use a fan, marynary, there are other considerations to taking hrt like cardio vascular health and bone density.

I was wary at first as I had heard bad things about hrt, but I did research and am now absolutely delighted to be on hrt. I effin LOVE it. I have a spring in my step as I sleep so well.

Come on over to the meno boards if you want to have a proper convo about it.

EtTuTuttiFrutti · 12/09/2016 12:37

I don't want to scare you, but it does need spelling out....persistent bloating can be a sign of early cervical cancer.
NHS Symptom List

It can also be a symptom of lots of other less serious things.
We don't know. We're not medically qualified and even if we were, we can't do it over t'internet.

I respect you not going to Doctors for over 15 years when you are well and without any untoward symptoms. I don't know whether it is fear, lack of confidence.. any number of reasons.

But in this case you should go. Please don't ignore.

Find out what's going on; and if it is menopause, then start self treatment with all the Oil of Primrose and Black Cohosh that you can swallow, if that's what you want.

I was terrified of Doctors/Hospitals/Needles/Interventions etc. but I can honestly say that since my cancer diagnosis and being thrown right in the middle of my personal idea of hell, it aint that bad actually.
Don't die of fear.

80schild · 12/09/2016 12:54

My peri has started a bit and I get bloating that is much worse than it used to be but it is still cyclical.

The sore boobs, is something I also have. I had it checked out as they were both like two hard lumps. It turned out to be a minor condition called fibroadenoma. However, my GP made a point of referring me for a scan.

I think the point is that if these are cyclical and go up and down with your menstrual cycle you will probably be okay. If though, they don't then you definitely need to see a doctor.

Marynary · 12/09/2016 13:45

If you have any menopause or perimenopause symptoms, I recommend seeing your doctor and having a blood test. That will check your thyroid levels as well as your fsh levels

They don't usually do blood tests for women over 45.

You dont have to just suffer hot flashes and use a fan, marynary, there are other considerations to taking hrt like cardio vascular health and bone density.

I don't "have" to suffer hot flashes/flushes but HRT is not without risks (e.g. breast cancer) and I have decided not to take it. It doesn't lower the risk of cardiovascular disease. If anything it may increase it. It also may increase the risk of stroke.

HoppityFrogs · 12/09/2016 13:48

How can you know for a fact that you don't have a condition without seeing a GP?

I'm well into the peri-menopause and have none of the symptoms that you describe.

Lissiluffman · 12/09/2016 15:52

I dint know what snitty means ? And your perception of my comment is yours and has nothing to do with me, I know how it was meant and it differs greatly from your personal perception of it! Thanks ☺️

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 12/09/2016 16:24

I would not take anything a doctor gives me anyway so there's not point in seeing one
Would you consider it if it made your life better, healthier, less bloated, more hair, etc.....
HRT should be considered for sure.
My GP was great when I went to him.
I am peri-menopausal apparently.
But my GP is funny and seriously good.
I don't need HRT as yet but he did say that it should be taken if things get worse.
Most female GP's take it.
Why wouldn't you want to make your life more comfortable?
Odd

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