AIBU to be seriously annoyed about inconsiderate parking?

[Floss881]

So today I went to the high street area of our small(ish) town. There's a large carpark behind a shopping arcade and I parked up in an area that had no other cars in it.... I do this deliberately firstly because I drive a lease car but secondly because I have impaired mobility and need to get my door open in order to get in and out (I'm actually waiting for a Blue Badge). So basically I park further away even though it causes me serious pain. There are no 'parent parking' bays in this car park.

I return to my car today to find another car parked so close to the passenger side that even my 3 year old was too big to squeeze through the gap... Goodness knows what kind of contortions the other driver did in order to get out and why they felt they had to. There were plenty of other spaces. There is a scratch mark down the length of my car (possibly from her handbag) where she's rubbed down the side while trying to move out.

Anyway, I left a note with a picture of it on the town Facebook page (a closed group) in the hope that she'd come back so that I could get her details. Additionally, she'd left her dog in the car on a reasonably hot day and I was concerned about the dog.... It did the trick, she came and apologised for parking too close.

However, the fallout from the Facebook post was really shocking...
"Is she meant to be a mind reader",
"I'm sure your child will survive the trauma of having to climb in the other side. Cars have 4 doors for a reason",
"She's still in the lines, she's done nothing wrong",
"Are you on drugs",
"What's wrong with walking",
There was even a suggestion that, because their cars get damaged, it's ok to do it to someone else's. It was really savagely unkind (and at times personal) for no apparent reason.

Genuinely, I'm really confused; The other driver knew they'd parked too close (she mentioned it before I'd even noticed she was there), there were plenty of other places to park, she's damaged my car and I'm the one in the wrong?! Is it really unreasonable to think

1. people should park their car so that they can get out without hitting the neighbouring car?
2. people in my new town have a pack mentality and rip to shreds anyone who bothers to post regardless of the reason? I've put the picture below so you can see how ridiculously close they were.

Incidentally the Facebook page name is (name of town): what matters to you? It mattered to me and thought it needed posting

I'm confused - how did she scratch your car if she couldn't get out the side?

Yabu I think about the parking - small bays seem to be the issue

Yanbu! Why couldn't she have parked in an empty space? Regardless of the spaces being small and she is in the lines a bit of common sense would tell you that you've parked to close to another car. I always line my car up making sure there is enough space for me to get out with the baby and that other people can open their doors without banging my car. Why is it so hard for other people to do this?

Yanbu to find it annoying though - it is

Public shaming seems a bit ott though

ghostly re; public shaming - when i was a wee girl we used to stick 'em in the stocks on the olde village greene and pelt 'em with rotten veg, ah, ye good olde days [sighs happily] nowadays we used the time honoured tradition of mn and face book

I park with the lines but then I check that the people on either side of me can get out, I am especially careful if there is a child seat in the car as I know they often need extra room. It's basic consideration really.
I probably wouldn't go down the Facebook route tough if someone parked badly, it can backfire

My mum and I were just parking up and getting out of my car at a retail park. We were in the second line, so fairly close the shops and it was a Saturday so the car park was quite full. I can't abide bad parking so even if it takes me 12 attempts (an exaggeration obviously), I will park considerately in the space.

The women who owned the car next to us came back and ranted to her OH loudly that we were inconsiderate to park next to them. Why couldn't we park somewhere else? It's a car park. I'll park wherever I damn well please as long as I'm not in a disabled bay or obstructing anything.

My point is, people will always find something to moan about with parking. I always get annoyed whilst driving but I tend to just quietly seethe to myself about it or whinge to whoever is with me in the car.

No, she shouldn't have parked that close (you were equally close though) but she apologised for it. Did she offer to pay for the damage? IMO, the dog is the main issue here, not her parking but that was sorted too.

come back floss i for one would like to know if you got the damage sorted out.

Also just cause the row was empty when you can back doesn't mean it was when she parked. And if the Facebook group is notorious for this kind of behaviour (most are) why are you surprised it happened to you. The lady who did it was apologetic and it's hard to tell from your posts if she is dealing with the damage but if she is that should be enough.

Yep, her drivers side is nearly touching my passenger side. The only reason she's not actually touching is because my wing mirror is folded away. Basically, she parked in a way that was totally avoidable and caused damage to the next car over (mine). She had to open that door to get out. She knew without a doubt that she was too close and had to squeeze herself out. It clearly took some effort if a three year old couldn't get back in.

The initial post (on the FB community page) was posted to get her attention and was addressed directly to her. It was not intended for strangers to launch into an unprovoked personal attack. It did get her attention and she did later return and apologise.

Let's make it clear. I am not still angry about the parking issue and did not "name and shame" anyone. I've had people park up tight against my car before in empty car parks and not caused damage. I've driven off feeling a bit miffed that they've been inconsiderate but that's life in this country where we all practically live on top of each other. However, when you damage something that's not yours you should expect to be called out for it. If she did nothing wrong because she parked inside the lines, fair enough, but that also means that I did nothing wrong too- the difference is that she scratched my car in the process. I did not scratch hers.

For clarity, I'm not saying at all that Its unreasonable if you park next to me in an empty car park. What I'm saying is if you choose to park next to someone in any car park is it unreasonable for you to expect to be able to get into/ out of your car without damaging the one next door? If she'd parked literally cm's to the left she would have avoided a fairly costly insurance claim. The fact that the car park had plenty of other spaces just makes the choice she made more odd.

Is it unreasonable to ask AIBU somewhere where you're more likely to get insightful responses rather than insults hurled at you because "you think you're better than them with your fancy new car"?... I don't btw

I don't understand - your car appears to be closer to the lines than hers. How is this all her fault?

Thing is though, if all you'd wanted, as you've stated here, was her to come back because you were,worried about the dog, why did you post the pictures of the cars close together-or even mention it?
"fb message posted directly to her" probably read as one of those open letters "dear lady in the red jumper who looked strangely at me in Sainsbury's..." Type.

If you'd put "Car with registration could you come back as I'm concerned about the dog you left" then I'd bet she would have been slammed for leaving the dog in the car.

And really, did you expect her to see it on a fb page and come back? I don't think I've ever stopped and checked fb when going round the shops-perhaps if I'm having lunch.
You were trying to name and shame her.

Have you used Facebook before? You are aware that other people can see it and that whilst you didn't 'name' the other driver, you posted an identifiable picture of her car on there. If you just wanted her attention, why didn't you leave a note?

Yanbu op! There are as many ignorant people on this thread as there are on the Facebook page.

I like to park next to a car because it is easier to park in a straight line than it is in a row of empty spaces, but I would make sure there is a decent gap.

D'you remember when you were at school?

There were a handful of bullies. Some were spiteful, some were stupid, some had issues. All were cruel and loved to cause distress and upset and stir things up. They had a gang of syncophants who would grunt appreciatively at their "wit", terrified that the pack would turn and they'd be the next victim.

Did you ever wonder what happened to them?

Well now you know!

You do seem parked closer to the line than she is, so I don't really get how her parking is the problem. Assuming you were both more or less in the middle of the space, the problem is the spaces are too small.

Posting a picture on FB of someone parked perfectly within the lines and just as well/badly as you was never going to end well.

YANBU. I would be screwed if someone parked that close. I have mobility issues and also have to have the door open to its full extent in order to get out, my leg just doesn't bend enough. Someone parked up against my door at a local shop despite me parking carefully away from others. I had to go in the passenger side and climb over the central divider, very difficult given the model of car and lack of mobility.

Or go into the store and ask for annocement far more likely to be successful than Facebook I never check when shopping, plus no public shame.

I'm going to have to go with the saying, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should".
I'm actually with you on this OP. Yes the car is in the lines and yes she has parked perfectly legally, BUT if the rows were empty, then why do it? Why park so close and make life needlessly difficult for both you and her? Makes no sense whatsoever. And as for the damage to your car, I would be really annoyed. However, I would find that attempting to get into my car would result in my handbag simply causing the same damage to her car. But that's because pettiness sometimes wins out with me.

If that's her car on the left it's a lot smaller? A fiat? So although she is in the lines, she must have much more space on the passenger side. Which would make me think she's a bit dense for not parking an equal distance from each line. A woman at work does this and leaves about 4mm on her driver's side and about 30cm on her passenger side. She then gets in and out through the passenger side.

It's a small town. The car park serves about 30 shops, half a dozen cafés, a community centre, post office, several banks etc etc. She may not have been there just for shopping. For all anyone knows she might have parked up and went to work and left her dog in the car and forgotten about it. It happens.

Maybe an innocent post saying "why have you parked so close? You've damaged my door. Please return to your car and give me your details. I'm also concerned about your dog" might have jogged her memory. Additionally, the car pictured is not that identifiable... Basically it was enough for them to see a picture of a gold car and think "oh bugger that might be me, I best go sort this out". All credit to the other driver she DID see the post and return. It would have been very easy to go and hide. There's a 3 hour minimum parking charge for that car park and we were both there less than an hour.

So, to add on to an already rambling story (I keep breaking off to see to the kids). I spoke to the other driver and she accepted that she was too close and give me her insurance details. I then left the FB post active while I drove to my Mothers house and then picked up my phone to a long string of personal insults... The last one before I deleted the threat saying "it's not her fault you're too fat to get into the car. Lazy bitch get a job and then you won't be at a shopping centre in the middle of a weekday!". Lovely. For reference I DO work (full time) and it'd be a stretch to think that I'm morbidly obese.

Anyway, I have noticed today that there's a few threads on the same FB page criticising people for being rude and unnecessarily nasty so maybe I wasn't the only one that thought it was wrong... They were just too shy to stand up to bullies??

glad it's worked out for you floss but what a bunch of morons on fb ! they wouldn't say it in real life and apart from that you might be a hefty rugger player !