To expect a TV show about New York to be interesting?

[MorrisZapp]

'New York: America's Busiest City'

HOLD ME BACK. That is so up my street. Set a series link, get DS down early, make a cup of tea and sit down to enjoy...

A sub-Countryfile mess that even rent a smile presenters cannot save. Yes, indeed BBC. What people really want to know about the urban reality of his fabled town is how many apples they get through - and where they are grown.

Can we also get to see a huge deserted field? That really gives us an insight into the New York food markets.

No, for my money I don't want to see New Yorkers eating, working or opening their lives for us. I want to see ex Blue Peter presenters 'learning' how to pick fruit.

I wonder how much these international shows cost to film. I could create more compelling telly using my phone, a bus ticket and a slice of pizza.

Yes I thought exactly the same. Sounded as if it would be right up my street but not interesting enough for me to watch a second episode.

Right. Am going to crowd fund 'Interesting New York'. I'm happy with an economy flight.

Then I'll just chat to randoms a la Humans of New York and await the Bafta.

For extra fun, I'll use tinder to find interesting people willing to spill for the price of a mason jar fruit punch.

Then I'll get restaurant owners to show me their family photos and tell me about their lives and business. Over delicious food.

Then I'll find the oldest bartender I can, to give me the real filth.

And you will all series link me :)