To think my neighbour is bonkers?

[stripesstpots]

So ok this will be long.

We moved into our flat around seven years ago. The flats are two converted houses with carpeting and rugs. When we moved in I would say 90% of the flats were children age newborn to eight so the landlord was happy with children.

Over the last couple of years those with the youngest children have all increased family size and moved and its mostly just a couple of us with over tens left.

Fast forward to last year and a new neighbour moved in downstairs who we will call Maud. Maud is in her sixties and works shifts.

When Maud moved in and saw my dc (before my dc had even been in the house while she was there so not our noise related) first thing she did was moan she knew all about kids thudding about.

She then asked if I would ensure my children were not in the house when she was on nights so she could sleep.

Now I should point out at this point the dc leave the house at 6.10am and don't return till 5.30pm during term time and are in bed at 9pm. Although we are home in the holidays we still go out a lot.
Until two weeks ago we were away with family all weekend overnight so literally about 3 and a half hours of them at home a day.. They are not at the age of running around and no loud music.

So everytime I leave the house we see Maud. Maud comments

When dc fell out of bed one night she complained.
When months later dc knocked a lamp over she complained.
Mostly she complains to me, her friends, the neighbours, our local shop keeper, letting agent etc that she can hear disabled dc (on rugs, carpets and with slippers or barefeet) walking.

It has got to the point the dc stay in their room all day and don't use the living room so they are walking from the bedroom to the living room for a drink or meal only.

Aibu to think she is bonkers?

I agree with the suggestion to refer your neighbour to the Noise Prevention team. YANBU - she is being utterly ridiculous. My DH used to work nights and would never have thought for a second of asking the children playing noisily in the park outside our house to be quiet!
If she has to have silence during the day she needs to move to a detached house (in the middle of nowhere).

Let your DC enjoy your home in the normal way of things. Every time she complains tell her the same thing re the Noise team.

Next time she moans give her a big smile and hand her the number of the Noise Prevention Team .dont say a word.

Maud is weird and not suited to living in flat. Another vote for telling her to contact the noise control department, she won't get anywhere and they will politely tell her she is being massively unreasonable.

If Maud has a problem she needs to speak to the local authority about it (noise prevention). They would make her keep diary sheets for a month and then would tell her it was living noise.

If Maud doesn't like the general noise that comes with living below normal people doing normal things then she needs to find a solution not you!

My partner works shifts including nights. You can't expect the whole world to stop for you. I'd probably write her a firm letter telling her you have reported her for harassing minors every time she sees them and she needs to stop (and do so she can moan at the PCSO they'll send instead) If she has complaints about imagined noise she needs to go through the Noise Prevention Team as you will only deal with this matter through the appropriate channels from this point forward.

Start by being nice (as I'm sure you have been) and even offering some sweeteners whether they be gifts or bits of help here and there. That's how my mate deals with drunk customers in his night-cafe. If that doesn't work, and tbh it seems you are past that stage, then you have to get firm. Don't apologise and don't compromise after that.

I think if I were moving to a flat within a house, and worked shifts outide of the normal daytime routines of most people, I would invest in really good earplugs and eye mask so I could sleep. She is being VVU asking you to take your kids out when she wants to sleep. Cheeky woman!

I would also suggest maude needs a detached house.

Maud is being ridiculous. If you live in flats you need to be aware that a certain level of noise is inevitable and adjust your expectations accordingly.

I'd start doing some exerice dvds. When you eventually stop she'll be grateful for the relative peace and quiet.

Tell her you feel harassed by her behaviour and she is intimidating your children and unless she stops you will take it further. (I don't know to who but the point is to make her take a step back and stfu.)

It sounds like the only noise pollution going on here is her constant moaning.

In fact I would make a point of keeping a packet of earplugs in my pocket and next time she moans I would hand them over and say "problem solved".

Next time she makes any remarks to you or your children, give her a smile and tell her that you find these remarks unacceptable and consider the frequent nature of them to be harrassment. Tell her to address her concerns to the local noise team and not to you as you can't help her any further. Repeat as necessary.

Tell maude to bloody do one, no way would I be arranging my life around her and I certainly wouldn't be restricting my dc in their own home

YANBU. If Maud moved in relatively recently, I don't understand why she didn't look for a flat in a block with no children in. Her age IS relevant - if she would still be allowed to work - she could have chosen to move into in a retirement block, where everyone's over 55. Maybe she fell out with all her neighbours where she lived before?

And you might also want to point out that under the Equality law making comments about your child's disability is illegal and you will contact the equality authority and press charges if she keeps making them. And do that!!

Maud has major issues!

They shouldn't have to be your issues though. She should put sound-proofing panels on her ceiling if she's that bothered.

'It might be worth asking if you can listen to what she is hearing, have her come in and see what you are doing to make the noise (just living like normal people) and then both going to the landlord/HOA to see if anything can be done with noise insulation to improve the situation. It doesn't matter who lives above her, she's going to have the same issues.'

NEVER pander to people like this. This is her problem and she is harassing you.

Tell her that. 'You are harassing us. Stop it.'

We have a neighbour like this downstairs from us. He'll never be happy in a flat. That's not our fucking problem. He went to the HA with so many silly complaints that were continually thrown out that the HA has officially branded him a nuisance neighbour.

Fuck her.

I'd be looking on eBay for tap shoes for the family myself

I would start to say - gosh just think, when they are teenagers and get into loud music, wow - you'll have to get ear plugs then!

I think she will move!

Or, print off the guidelines (which I have seen posted on mn at some point) about what constitutes acceptable noise in a flat, and give them to her.

When she says 'is this the clodhopper then?' I would be tempted to turn to dd and say 'don't worry darling, not everyone is as rude and as ill mannered as this, don't let her upset you' or something like that.

Yup bonkers.

i currently live in a ground floor flat in a converted Victorian house, under a family with three children. I also work an odd night shift pattern.

Their washing machine hitting the spin cycle sounds like a helicopter taking off.

Every time we meet, the mother apologises.

I tell her not to.

Noise is one of the hazards of living on the ground floor.

Ear plugs and an eye mask.