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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do?

41 replies

Rockingaround · 07/09/2016 17:03

I know my thoughts will differ from some; my DD6 has been invited to a friends birthday party who will be turning 7. It's a make up, hair dressing party. I think this is too young. I was equally aghast when same friend bought my DD make up for her 6th birthday. Although once she'd opened it and was obviously delighted I did let her play with it but have since put it at the back of the cupboard. I just feel really fucked off tbh. I don't want my 6yo wearing make up and that being the central point of a birthday party at this age! I want them to be dancing and running around and playing pass the bloody parcel! I also think it's just encouraging them to grow up before their time they've just started Y2 ffs! My DD really admires the birthday girl although she can be very bossy, my DD thinks she's head girl. I don't want my DD to go but she will be in such a strop if I make up an excuse and she'll definitely feel left out when others are talking about it at school ....? What would you do?

OP posts:
Jellybean83 · 07/09/2016 19:14

I'm sure as a one off it'll do her no harm, hope she had fun!

I'm a little bit worried about the laser quest comment, that's what DS has asked for for his 7th birthday party, which we've agreed to... Didn't really enter my head that some parents might find it inappropriate. Confused

RealityCheque · 07/09/2016 19:16

Don't worry Jelly. In the real world noone will object.

Soubriquet · 07/09/2016 19:17

Now I'm curious. What the hell is wrong with laser quest?

Original poster
Rockingaround · 07/09/2016 19:18

They're doing hair up-do's, mini-mani and pedi with make-up

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 07/09/2016 19:18

That sounds fantastic

If your daughter is happy to go, I would let her go.

Hell I'll push her out the way and go myself Grin

arethereanyleftatall · 07/09/2016 19:25

When dd was 6 we had a birthday party for her at home. 20 girls invited. I have a large house so we had a bouncy castle in one room, a disco (disco balls plus music) in another, we had crafts in another, in the garden is s trampoline, swings, slides, and a football net. My sister painter nails and did hair in another room. All 20 girls, without exception, stood patiently in line to have their hair and nails done, whisky every other area was empty.
Stop forcing your own views on your children, and let them explore.

Original poster
Rockingaround · 07/09/2016 19:26

I hear you all, I'd feel better if she was 12/13. That's when I started experimenting ... Sun-In summer of 95! 😱 - I know this'll sound really old and boring but honestly I was climbing trees, playing out on our block and collecting snails when I was 6. I'm racking my brains to remember if I'd even thought about make-up then. the get a grip comment was out of order btw

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 07/09/2016 19:29

But they can climb trees, and collect snails and have their nails painted all at the same time. They could even do all that in an hour. Why restrict one thing? They won't understand why. You're making it in to a thing when it doesn't need to be.

Alanna1 · 07/09/2016 19:29

I used to think like you but.... Now I let my 4 yo play with a cheap argos make-up kit just like I let her play with face-paint. She looks ridiculous. She usually plays with it with dressing up costumes and we have a bath a bit afterwards. She sees it as playing at being grown up. i think depending how it is done, it's fine.

ironrooster · 07/09/2016 19:30

Pamper parties for 7 year olds are wrong on so many levels.

However I would probably grit my teeth and let DD go as I wouldn't want her to miss out on a party. I'd think less of the parents though for their choices.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/09/2016 19:33

You superior being iron.

Yabu. It's just a party.

ALemonyPea · 07/09/2016 19:39

If you don't want her to go to it, don't accept the invite. Tell her you have something planned and take her to a soft play that day or something.

Pythonesque · 07/09/2016 19:39

My immediate instinct is that I would have said no for my daughter at that age. Thinking back (she's nearly 14 now so it's a while ago), she did once go to a party where make-up was being done. I forget the details and it was certainly not the whole focus of the party - might have been a party at a soft-play or similar. So I was able to take her but express my concerns up front, and we agreed with whoever was doing it that she could have X and Y but nothing more.

Having just seen that this party is in a salon, I think I would be inclined to phone the parents to discuss it and express your concerns directly. And have a low threshold for telling your daughter, sorry it's no, unless you feel there is an acceptable compromise to be made.

Does your daughter have any eczema or other allergies that may also be pertinent? (my daughter had to go and wash in a hurry on her last school sports day - they had permission to use facepaints but the main set they were using set her skin off big time)

eggyface · 07/09/2016 19:44

I agree with OP. It's not 'playing at being grown up'. Make up isn't an essential part of being grown up and imo is a fairly psychologically unhealthy,expensive habit that wastes women's time and distracts them from achieving more in the world.

I would also disapprove of a "getting pissed" themed party in a fake bar with pretend watered down booze for 6-year-olds. Or a smoking party. Or an "orgy of consumer spending" party where children took out fake loans and spent them on naff labels.

Just cos adults do it doesn't make it a good experience for my child.

alfagirl73 · 07/09/2016 19:47

To be fair, little kids have always played dress-up haven't they? It's not uncommon for a little girl to want to play dress up and play with a bit of make-up. It's not like they're ordering the entire Lancome counter to wear to school every day. My cousins used to give me their old make up they didn't want anymore to just play with when I was a little girl.

It's a one off... its a party.... let her go and have some fun. Her entire belief system won't be based on one party when she's 6 years old.

Soubriquet · 07/09/2016 19:50

See if it was a fake tan and a bikini photo shoot, I could see the issue.

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