Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Getting annoyed with son's ticks/habits

50 replies

Littleredhouse · 07/09/2016 14:12

My 4 year old recently has started compulsively clearing his throat, snorting and making an odd noise in the back of his throat. He doesn't do it all the time but will go through phases (maybe 30 minutes at a time) of doing it constantly. It's so irritating and obviously I want him to stop asap, especially as he's recently started school. I don't want the other kids noticing and teasing him.

A friend's child has some very noticable ticks a while ago and she was advised by the specialist that while there was nothing wrong, they shouldn't bring attention to it as it could make it worse. The child stopped by himself a little while after.

I try not to say anything to my son but a couple of times I got irritated and told him to stop as it was annoying. He is able to stop when needed (eg the promise of an ice-cream).

Should I ignore it and hope he stops of his own volition? Or aibu to tell him to stop it every time? About a year ago he started having an eye twitch which we got checked out - his eyesight was fine and he stopped after a couple of months.

(I don't know if 'ticks' is the right word as they are not out of his control but wasn't sure how else to describe them).

OP posts:

kali110 · 07/09/2016 19:23

I used to clear my throat, cough, make weird noises ( im an adult) turns out it was asthma

Ptarmigandancinginthegloaming · 07/09/2016 19:25

Get him checked by doc, as others have said - sounds like catarrh, or a tickley throat to me. Worth checking physical causes before being cross with him.
If nothing is found to be wrong, maybe give him something to drink when he starts and see if that removes whatever makes him cough, and/or distracts him out of the habit.

monkeywithacowface · 07/09/2016 19:33

Sigh.... We are NOT all on the spectrum somewhere. Sorry but this misunderstanding really does frustrate me no end. It's like saying we're all a bit epileptic just some people have more severe symptoms than others. You're either epileptic or you're not and you're either on the autistic spectrum or you're not.

It is of course possible to have behavioural traits commonly associated with autism but unless you have the triad of impairment you are not on the spectrum.

Anyway in relation to the OP ds developed tics at four and it's apparently quite a common age for them to occur and they often go away. We never drew attention to it and they have stopped now.

YourNewspaperIsShit · 07/09/2016 19:34

"Autism is a spectrum, but it doesn't go from NT to autistic! It is a spectrum of autism, with autism at one end and autism at the other and varying degrees of the triad of impairments therein"

This

Sorry PP we aren't all on the spectrum and males aren't further along it than females. There's more registered cases of males with ASD for sure but the information you gave is incorrect

YourNewspaperIsShit · 07/09/2016 19:35

Also just to add my DM mentioned and told me to stop every single time I ticked amd it's pretty much scarred me for life so definitely ignore them or ask if he's uncomfortable somehow

PovertyPain · 07/09/2016 19:55

I just love the response that "we're all on the spectrum", when discussing my oldest's ADD or youngest's Autism. I even fucking get the "oh, I think I'm a wee bit THAT because they can't fucking pronounce dyscalculia because I was always crap at maths."

zoobeedoo · 07/09/2016 19:59

Yeah I did say there's two schools of thought and research that disagrees, but let's ignore that part

AntiquityAgain · 07/09/2016 20:06

Actually I was ignoring all the stereotypical girl/boy and empathy bullshit. But at least you and your poor training aren't working with my ASD child.

zoobeedoo · 07/09/2016 20:09

Yeah me too, you sound like a treat. OP asked a general question about wondering why it seems to be more boys than girls that suffer with tics, I gave a general answer based on some reading which is very widely available to anyone who wants to read it and made clear that's all it was. Wow.

YourNewspaperIsShit · 07/09/2016 20:14

Sorry zoobee but you have to realise especially of you work with SN that claiming those things (even if you don't believe them and are citing research) is going to get people's backs up. Especially considering the rest of the post was also quite incorrect coming from an actual autistic female. I know we aren't all the same but I think some of us have a better perspective on it, i can't control my ticks any different from a male and we are both blindingly aware of the effects on others

stopgap · 07/09/2016 20:14

My friend's 9-year-old started with throat clearing, blinking and squinting ticks, and is now being investigated for Tourette's.

Imnotaslimjim · 07/09/2016 20:14

My DS also develops tics when stressed. Mostly vocal ones or echolalia. They drive me mental as I can't seem to tolerate repetitive sounds so I have to fight with myself to ignore him. They do pass after a while, then he develops a new one and it starts again.

PovertyPain · 07/09/2016 20:17

zoo, I imagine you mean well but, your lack of understanding and limited knowledge, regarding SN may lead others to believe the 'old school' thinking that we're all on the spectrum. Working with young people/children with SN is nothing like raising a child with SN. I'm sorry you feel attacked, but I'm sure you can understand the frustration of parents that have this said to them on a regular basis. It can feel as if your concerns regarding your child are being dismissed and your child's difficulties are being downplayed.

zoobeedoo · 07/09/2016 20:17

I didn't say anyone could control them regardless of gender. I'm out, arguing is not for me.

HermioneWeasley · 07/09/2016 20:17

Just telling him he's annoying and trying to bribe him in case he hasn't got the message isn't enough. You must beat him with a belt every single time he tics. That'll learn him.

ratspeaker · 07/09/2016 20:19

Another one saying check out asthma.
My DS1 used to drive my mum daft constantly clearing his throat. Turns out he had asthma

YourNewspaperIsShit · 07/09/2016 20:22

Sorry zoo didn't mean to make you feel ganged up on I was just going from this

"little boys don't notice or care that it sounds weird or bothers others where as (very generally speaking) girls are more aware of their affect on others."

I was trying to say little boys and little girls both know and care what it sounds like but can't stop doing it anyway which causes massive amounts of self-awareness and anxiety. Saying girls are "more aware" surely indicated to me that therefore girls "suppress" them more which I wrote as "control" hope that clears it up

SatsukiKusakabe · 07/09/2016 20:33

My ds had tics last year just prior to, and after beginning school. He has had different ones previously at different times when something stressful has happened. One was even more infuriating that what you are describing, and it took everything not to plead with him to stop. But we didn't and it ran its course.

His gps mentioned his tics every time he did it. His tics would be so much worse again the day after a visit I told them firmly to stop out of his hearing but in the end we had to take a break to allow them to clear up - which they did. Please don't pull him up on it. It will be worse for him than it is for you, and may mean he never gets over them (speaking from some experience)

mygorgeousmilo · 07/09/2016 20:38

My son has had various tic phases, my paediatrician friend said she sees it all the time. I did take him in to be checked over, and was told to ignore it, I've ignored them as they've come and gone and they've become fewer and further between. Don't try and force him to stop, the pressure will make it worse

totalrecall1 · 07/09/2016 20:51

My DD starting tics at 4. Verbal initially throat clearing and coughing. Then facial grimacing, eye rolling, frowning etc. Mostly last for about 3 months then disappear. This year it's gone on for around 9 months. I was worried initially that it might be Tourette's, but she is definitely not anywhere on the spectrum. I think that it's just something that happens to quite a lot of kids particularly when stressed and for the most part they grow out of it. I was petrified that she would be teased at school, but no one has ever mentioned it. She is 12 now and as I said these ones have lasted longer than usual, but from what I have read puberty sometimes sends them a bit haywire, and then they grow out of it. I do make her aware when she is doing it, and she can stop immediately if I am watching. That's the difference I think as if it were Tourette's she would probably not be able to control it in that way. I think it also might be inherited, lots of the extended family have had them and grown out of them. Other people will notice less than you think. Don't worry too much it's likely to go soon, but then come back as something else. They will grow out of it.

totalrecall1 · 07/09/2016 21:08

Also I should also say (and I am no medical expert but I read up on this a lot and maybe the poster with Tourette's is better placed to say) but statistically it is much more likely to be a childhood tic than Tourette's and Tourette's is not usual in an NT child, it is usual co-existing with some type of autism, OCD or ADHD so if your child in NT then it is highly unlikely it would be Tourette's

HeyBells · 07/09/2016 21:08

Another DS here who did the throat clearing before asthma was diagnosed. Now he continually sniffs but hates to use nasal spray or take anti-histamines. He also had occasional tics and periods of stuttering when younger (pre-school and infants). He seemed to grow out of them during juniors and the last time was a blinking tic when starting secondary. I just ignored and they would go after about 2-3 months. Now when he's anxious or stressed he just goes silent and grumpy.

Submariner · 07/09/2016 21:59

As someone with tics, him being able to stop for a while doesn't make them any less real. A tic to me isn't like a completely involuntary movement that I have no control over, it is like a pressure building up so you feel like you have to do the tic. You can put it off for a while, but the whole time this feeling is building up that you need to do the tic.

Mine can be very tiring, they are always worse when I'm stressed or tired, and always worse if someone keeps pointing them out. Please don't get cross with someone who has tics. It's annoying for you to listen to, imagine having to do them all day!

Alachia · 07/09/2016 23:01

Ogre with submariner. You have to concentrate when asked to stop, the urge just gets worse, as soon as you stop concentrating you can't stop.

PickAChew · 07/09/2016 23:04

Ignore. Those tics are triggered by an immense itch in the back of the throat that becomes more severe when attention is drawn to the tic.

It's a bit like that reflex where someone coughs then it spreads around the room - there's no logical reason why the cough/throat clearing/gulping needs to happen but there's no relief unless it's done.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread