8yo girls must wear shorts under skirts...

[MyFirstMyLastMyEverythingBagel]

... In order to play on the bars in the school playground?!
My 8yo DD came home from school yesterday upset as she wasn't allowed to play on them - the teacher had said she needed to have shorts on as the boys would see her knickers.
I'm really upset by this, she is 8 years old and has a life time ahead of her to be worrying about modesty/body image without the school instilling it in her at 8. We've had a lovely summer, much of it spent splashing in the river / sea, DD totally in self aware in her knickers and a t shirt.
I'm actually pretty cross and plan to speak to the head about it, but want to know if iabu? How would you feel about it? My child is a child and I don't feel she should be made to feel self conscious about a brief knicker flash when she is playing.

Flamingo are you joking?

I work as a dinner lady at a school and recently had a similar conversation as another staff member starting saying about how the girls ( agaes 5-6) should be wearing shorts. I questioned her and disagreed and pointed out the boys were far to busy playing football/ chase to even notice and the fact that there was the odd flash of knickers hadnt even entered their radar.
Why are we putting these thought onto kids at such a young age?

My daughter is 8 and wouldnt even think about shorts under her skirts.. and why should she have to?

I have only read half the thread & have been wondering where this has come from. Certainly back In the 80's, when I was a child, no one batted an eyelid to the odd flash of knicker when playing. I did lots of twirling, cartwheeling and so on in skirts myself. I was never self conscious or worried about it, but certainly would have been if adults had started pointing it out to me. Somehow I managed to grow up into an adult who isn't going round flashing her knickers while wearing skirts. It's definitely very recent. I have been a parent for a while now and 10y ago I really hadn't heard about it. It's only in the last 3-4y I have become aware that girls wear shorts underneath skirts & dresses. Imo this is absolutely not about "religion" (read Muslims) but about some irrational fear of paedophiles & an extension of the whole rape culture issue we live with, especially considering the reasons people give on this thread.
I too would be livid OP.

She shouldn't have too, Pigley it's fucking ridiculous.

DS1 (9) has a large group of friends both girls and boys and all of them spent hot days in the summer in various stages of undress due to pool parties, water fights or just being too sweaty.

If there had been any nonsense about seeing someone's underwear the person starting it would be told to pack it in. I can honestly say I can't recall a single remark on the subject.

The majority of kids just get on with playing, why are adults the ones shaming girls and vilifying boys?

If there is a problem with taunting going on in the playground then that's what should be addressed. Not this old fashioned 'modest young lady, naughty boys' crap.

My DD (8yo) would spend her entire life dangling upside-down if she had the chance, so she is always climbing and hanging from bars. Most of the time she wears trousers at school but when she chooses a skirt or dress she insists on wearing shorts underneath as she worried terribly about anyone seeing her pants. She's equally panicked about anyone seeing her 'boobs'. I spent most of my time topless at the beach as a child, and certainly didn't care about flashing my knickers.

Then they get older and high school girls and college students are getting up hours before school/lectures to straighten their hair and put on makeup because the beauty norms for girls are getting more and more demanding. When I was a student we just rolled out of bed 10 mins before lectures started and dragged on a reasonably clean t-shirt.

We just aren't allowing children the innocence of childhood any more, and girls are expected to adapt themselves to be acceptable to the male gaze from younger and younger ages, to higher and higher standards. It makes me so sad.

Er, the problem here is the school! YAMDNBU!!! Nope, sod all wrong with any pre-puberty girl turning cartwheels in Knicks and a skirt / dress. Actually,IMO, w.t.actual f. is wrongbwith any female, of whatever age, doing so? As long ad the Knicks cover the essentials I don't see the problem.

WTF is gping on in society? Women & girls are slammed for not being !modest enough in their clothing, and slammed for wearing burkinis! Either we're inciting lust or terrorism or both, simp!y by our clothes. I really worry about the way things are going for the you her generation of women.

Sorry, rant over!

These rules are very strange. Some parents and girls at our school wanted to wear shorts under their skirts, but the school sent home letters saying that shorts under skirts were not allowed due to "hygiene reasons". I never did understand what these reasons were. It should be the girl's choice, and what she is covering herself with under her skirt should be none of the school's business.

When I were a nipper we tucked our dresses into our knickers when doing adventurous things.

No biggie.

Let's be clear. There is no religious reason for pre-pubescent primary girls to wear leggings under skirts, btw. That is just a cultural practice. There is one woman at our school, a Muslim convert, who insists her daughter does full long leggings and a dress and long sleeves in the height of summer, and the poor kid gets so hot. I raised it as a safeguarding issue as a governor once in a heat wave. Ridiculous practice.

YANBU. This has really shocked me. You are right to complain. 8 year old girls bodies are not shameful and they shouldn't be made to cover up.

Why are teachers standing there looking at girls' knickers?and even discussing it?

Personally, I think girls should wear shorts for playing in, not dresses. It is not because of the knickers issue, it is because of a comfort and also I think it is safer and more practical (dresses can get caught on things more easily).

Also, I do see it as a feminist issue - boys are provided with good clothes for climbing and playing in. Why aren't girls? There is a reason why, as grown ups, boys have better spatial awareness and that is because they are encouraged to climb trees and have the right clothing for doing so. The number of times I have heard mothers say to their daughters, "please don't climb that tree - you are in your good clothes" are to numerous to mention. The same applies for schools - provide a sensible uniform girls for crying out loud.

What's a really interesting question in all of this is why does the teacher think it's such a threat?

Just put a pair of shorts in her school bag the next time kids have sport classes. You can't change the system, but you can make your daughter feel more comfortable with it.

My DH once went to someone's house as part of his job. The back of the house looked overlooked a school playground. This guy had long lense cameras pointed at the playground from his upstairs bedroom and DH reported him to the police.

In an ideal world my DD should be carefree to do cartwheels at school in her skirt with her knickers on show. But it's not an ideal world and her playground is also overlooked by flats and houses. Bearing in mind what DH saw I'm perfectly happy that her school want her to wear pair of gym shorts under her skirt.

Apologies, haven't RTFT. Do primary kids still get changed for PE all together in the classroom? Because if they do then they've seen some other kids pants on a twice weekly basis so what would the odd flash on the monkey bars matter?
YANBU OP it's bloody ridiculous.

FarAwayHills do you honestly think the guy would have got any less kick if the girls had been wearing 'modestly' shorts? For all you know it could have been the boys he was training his cameras on anyway.

The problem is with the looker not what children are wearing

Argghh just spotted the spelling mistakes in my earlier post. Teach me to do so after midnight on the kindle!

Anyway - the "hygiene issue" a PP quoted - if it's warm and the girls are running around, even small girls can sweat - if they are wearing a double layer that's really not good (lets face it, we all know how icky tights or leggings can get in the summer)

My DD's primary got around it by having an option for the girls to wear trousers or shorts in the uniforms. But they didn't stop them from doing anything (playing football or whatever) if they were in skirts or dresses either. Having said that, my own DD only ever liked wearing trousers or shorts - she's only just developed an interest in dresses / skirts, at nearly 15.

I have to admit I think it's very much down to the child's choice. If the child wants to wear shorts, rather than have a dress on top, would the school permit a top and shorts - that way she's not double covered or pandering to the idea that the female body at whatever age should be covered up, but is also comfortable in herself.

But to reiterate what I said last night, there is something seriously wrong if a school is pushing this message.

In the 80's i was at school and remember being shamed for showing my knickers by a teacher when playing as boys might see, i was really upset as I stopped playing and sat at the side and she then accused me of doing it agtthe way i was sat- i was 6! Its a memory that has stayed with me.. Never told parents as i thought i was in trouble for a bad thing

My point being i had no idea 1) i was doing it, and 2) what the issue was, loads of us played and boys really didn't care.. All it did was make me self conscious without any real understanding of why.

YANBU!!

Tell em to sod off!

YABU
Female tennis players wear shorts. You don't see their undees. Young girls should wear similar wear.
Age shouldn't matter...Whether you are 5, 15,or 60, female privacy of their private parts shouldn't be different.

You never see the underwear of a fully grown women, why should it be ok to see young girls' ones?!