To only buy a present for one of the birthday girls

[WeirdButTrue]

Some MN wisdom required please as this must be quite a common situation. Dd has been invited to her close friend's bday party. The friend is having a joint do with another girl, who my DD knows but isn't really friends with. Different class at school, don't play together at break and have never had out of school play dates etc. I'm fairly sure if this girl were having a solo party my DD wouldn't be invited for these reasons.

So, my thinking is that I only buy a gift for DDs friend, and maybe a card for the other Bday girl. DH things that's unreasonable and I should get gifts for both girls. So is there any etiquette on this? AIBU?

Oh bum now it seems the views are split 50:50 either way so I'm still no further forward...coin flip it is

Present and card for friend
Token gift and card for other child. It's just polite

Box of maltesers or a book from pound shop and a card for child you don't know

Bag of sweets and a cars is fine IMO. If they were classmates then a present each.

I only buy for the child my child has a link to. My DD also shares a party with a friend and I wouldn't ever expect presents from his 'half' of the invitees.

D nephews 2nd birthday. In a park. Didn't even realise pastry was shared with another 2 year old I don't know never met. I still got aand a bit of a bollocking for not bringing the other 2 year old a present. FFS.

FWIW though in your situ I'd get a token present for the other child.

I think buying a car is a bit excessive idontlikealdi

What does the invitation say - are both party girls names on it?

I agree with other posters, only buy for both if both names are on it, otherwise just buy for your DD's mate.

My DS has a friend who is a twin (boy/girl). He received an invitation for their joint party with just the boy twin's (his friend) name on it so we just bought the one present. Worked out well as there were 6 friends invited for each twin invited so each child got 6 presents rather than 12.

Both girls names are on the invite - but it's a pre printed one, obviously to save the parents time of writing them individually. So DDs name is the only personalised part iyswim.

I was just going on my own feeling that I'd never expect gifts for DD in this situation from children she wasn't friends with. But I appreciate all the comments & will buy 2 gifts albeit 1 slightly nicer for DDs actual friend who she really is close to

I would buy for both.

Can you buy something they can share, eg a game?

Yes I only buy for the child who's birthday we have been invited.

I agree with this. Spot on.

My son had a joint party last year, and will again this year as his and his friend's birthday are only a week apart. We are from the same nct group, and they are at the same nursery so have a lot of the same friends. As well as joint friends, there will also be some friends who only know one or the other. I would never expect a present for my son from someone he didn't know, and would hope the joint friends would just spend a little less per present if they were buying for both.

Hmmm my ds was invited to a joint party when he is only friends with one of the birthday children and I just gave them both cards with cash in. If you agree to go to a joint party I don't think you should begrudge 2 presents. Unless you are hard up in which case I would do just a card for both.

Interesting. I'm considering a joint all class party with my son's friend. We'd invite whole class plus an additional 10 'external' friends each. I'd like to find a way to ask the class mates not to go to expense of 2 gifts.

Joint party where we've been invited by one friend - just that friend got present

Joint party with sibling - sibling got token gift eg sticker book and card