ds at school

[dmo]

ds is 9 yrs old and in yr 5
on monday we get a letter home from school ds has been fighting (very unlike him) and if he does it again he will be excluded from school at lunch times

has words with ds and the story was that a girl was on the floor being kicked by a boy so ds went over and pushed the boy out of the way.
boys 2 friends came over and started to push and kick ds so ds pushed and kicked back.
dinner lady saw ds pushing and sent him in (nobody else) and ds got told off and letter home.

on tuesday was parents evening so we decided to have a word with the head master about the matter, turns out headmaster knew what had happened and ds was told off because it was no his argument to get into
the boy who was kicking the girl had not even been spoken to and headmaster base said he would not be spoken to as it was ds who had been seen fighting

dh and i are so cross whats your thoughts?

I think you are dealing with the whole issue very well.Do the parents of the little girl who was being kicked feel the same way as you?

Think they are good things to ask for. Incidents that involve agressive/violent behaviour should be fully investigated from all sides routinely and everyone needs to know how bad behaviour is dealt with (and of course the good!). It would be interesting to ask your ds what he thinks the consequences are for good and bad behaviour in school - if he does not have a clear idea about rewards and sanctions then the policy the school have isn't effective!

good thinking!
not spoken to little girls parents yet i needed to get the story right first

ooohh!! i `d be furious and would have expected tha tthey praise your son for trying to help out someone else in trouble..admittedly he shouldnt fight but it was classed as self defence as he was being attacked by the friends of the initial instigator..i would also talk to the girl involved and explain to her how the situation was so maybe she can also have a word on your sons behalf to thank him ..not get him excluded.i would also make sure your son understand you are in his corner fighting for him and tha the was in the right fo rhelping someone ..admittedly this happened to my nephew at secondary school and he got in trouble for same thing and his parents went up and caused huge fuss and said they would take it to the governors and further up if it was sorted out appropriately!!!! stand your ground and good luck

normally dh and i are hard on our sons for example they left the tv on (again) in their room so it was banned for 1 week

i think he knows we are in his corner as there has been no punishment and we have said how proud we were of him saving the little girl.

going to talk to little girls mum tonight and let her know whats going on

I really wish you luck

thanks

the last thing i would ask for is equity and fairness with regards the punishment.

i think the school has you by the gonads with the strict letter of the school policy - i'll bet my arse that defending other pupils can't be an excuse to be involved in a fight.

i would push for a proper investigation. make sure the other lads involved get at least a letter home.

and in front of the teacher ( when called in to speak about the matter) i would make it plain that i would not support the school at home in this particular decision, that defending another pupil and himself was in your opinion the right thing to do given the situation.

the last thing on your list i mean

rather than the last thing ( ont he planet)
meaning it should be one of the first things

tut @miself

Absolutely disgusting views from the headmaster. What happened to zero tolerance for bullying? I would take it to the governors.

This sounds incredibly strange - did they not ask the girl what happened or ask the other boys for their account? Usually schools take these things very seriously.

Zombie thread.