AIBU and a bad mum?

[LouBlue1507]

Hi Ladies!

Im a first time mum to a beautiful 6 week old baby and I feel terrible!!

I love my baby, I really do but I do find it hard work! I find myself excited for DP to come home just so he can take over for a bit and I can have a break from it! How awful is that? I want to be one of those mums who doesn't want to spend a second apart from their baby but I'm just not like that and I hate myself for it!
I find myself wishing for the time when baby is older and more independent, not needing feeding every 2 hours! People say to cherish them when they're so little and I hate myself for wishing time away!
It's not like I even have it hard! My DP has only just gone back to work after being with us for 5weeks and baby sleeps most of the night only waking for one feed (which dp has done most of)!

I feel like the worst mum in the world! I'm coping really well but I don't want to 'cope' I want to relish in motherhood like so many other fantastic mums! 💔

My DP is a fantastic dad and partner but I don't want to worry him and cause him stress. (He's an NQT just starting a new job, with an Ofsted inspection looming in October!) He's got so much on his plate already!

I think I'll feel a lot better when some sort of routine is established and I can get stuff around the house done (one of the things I'm struggling with is not being able to get as much housework done as I'd like)...

I just think I need a hug!

You are normal. Stay in yr PJs on the sofa and just try and enjoy it. Its over so quickly xx

My sprog is 25 now and I remember the first year seemed to last for an eternity. I loved him just fine as a baby but he seemed so small and fragile and I wasn't confident I could keep him safe and healthy so the first year was all anxiety and stress and feeling like a failure.

There were lovely moments when he started smiling, but until he was talking properly I was very glad when his dad got home to take over and give me some time for myself.

I get the odd rose-coloured memory of the early days but if I'm honest it was very scary and I was much happier once he became a person I could communicate with.

When my first born was 6 weeks old I was seriously wondering what the hell I'd done, and why we hadn't just got another cat. (11 years and another child later and I still think it'd've been the easier option, but that's another story)

Seriously, you're doing great. It's bloody hard work and such a massive culture shock. Throw in massive amounts of sleep deprivation and "just" coping is a major achievement. I too was a perfectionist. I now accept that "good enough" is good enough.

Hi Lou Blue,

Just wanted to let you know that its like you were writing down the exact thoughts and feelings I had! My DD is 2 and still to this day I think I'm a pretty crap mum, I've just had 6 weeks off with her and I practically ran back in to work this morning. Doesn't mean I don't love her to bits though.

It does get easier - try not to be so hard on yourself.

Sending you a virtual hug

Sounds perfectly normal, I'm sure you are doing a great job! One thing that really helped me was getting a sling - I can get housework done while using it and the motion rocks baby to sleep - worth a try if you haven't already got one