Dd and Hungarian boy in her class

[GastonsPomPomWrath]

This is wwyd situation. Please be gentle with me.

It's my children's first day back at school today. Dd is 8 and has just started year 4. She's a bright child, top of the class, good in all subjects.

There's a new boy in the class. We'll call him Y. Y is Hungarian and speaks no or very very limited English at the moment.

The teacher has put my dd with Y to partner him in everything. She must work with him, talk to him, play with him at play time and lunchtime and help him during dinner in the hall. He has to copy her work exactly so he can learn to write our language. Dd didn't manage to finish her work because Y was struggling to keep up with her.

Dd told the teacher that she was having trouble understanding him and him understanding her and the teacher replied that she "hasn't got a choice" and she "must teach him how to speak and write English."

Now I do understand that the boy is probably better off being integrated in the classroom to pick up the way things are done and the language but is it totally reasonable for the teacher to carry on with her lesson whilst letting my dd teach Y? The school don't seem to have any resources or staff available to teach one to one for children who don't use English as their first language. The teaching assistant didn't offer any help (I asked Dd)

Would you be happy with this situation?

Dd came home asking me to help her figure out how she will communicate with him tomorrow.

[smallfox2002]

Oh good, a MN double whammy, teacher and immigration bashing all in one.

I'll sit back and watch this one with interest.

But in all seriousness OP, I doubt that your child was told that she "hasn't a choice" or that she "must teach him how to speak and write English." Either there has been a misunderstanding or your child is exaggerating.

[sportinguista]

My DS is in a school where the majority of children have English as a second language. Many arrive from abroad with little or no English. The school has what they call an international unit where they teach the children first steps as well as them attending classes, there are also some bilingual TA's. They do ask the children to buddy all new classmates regardless of whether they speak English or not, but it's taken in turns and for half days. It helps the new child make friends as well as they get to know everybody and decide who they would like to play with at breaks.

What your daughter is being asked to do isn't fair. It should be shared and there needs to be input from the TA at least for a while until the child gains more English. Ask what the arrangement is and if it's true suggest that maybe the buddying could be shared between all children and not just your daughter.

I appreciate DS school is better set up than some schools for this simply because it's the mix it is so they are dealing with this all the time, but it's not hard and the children do learn really fast, mainly because they want to join in and play.

[randomer]

the wee lad will be be playing and learning bad words soon and daughter can retreat to her bookish corner ( and enjoy)

[Ninasimoneinthemorning]

Open our eyes a little and embrace the wider world?

Hmmmm not at the expense of another child in the class. how is that fair?

[KitKats28]

I have to say, it breaks my heart for that little boy that so many people have such a shitty attitude to other people's kids.

If your child is "top of the class" and obviously such an amazing all round person, then don't you think they can spare a little of their brilliance to help out a scared, probably homesick child who has been dropped into a classroom where he doesn't know anyone.

Can none of you who are shrieking about this empathise just a little about how it must feel to be in an environment where you don't understand a single word of what is going on?

I'd rather my kid was bottom of the class if being top was more important to me than being kind and welcoming!

[clam]

If I was his mum I would want an interpreter at first

a chaperone and translator for this boy, the school should be paying somebody to do this

What planet are some of you on?

[Owllady]

I bet the Hungarian boy has a dog who shits in the woods too, a flat screen tv and a sister with special needs

[petitpois55]

Top of the class ugh. Only hear this on Mumsnet. I don't believe for a minute that teachers tell parents that their child is top of the class

I'm kinda having trouble swallowing this one tbh. i do hope it's true though, Otherwise that would mean that the OP was trying to shit stir...

[Ninasimoneinthemorning]

kitkat

No. I don't send my kids to school to look after another child. The teachers and school get paid for that. Why should a child that's doing well have to be pulled back to help weaker kids?

Why do you assume that being top of the class means you are unwelcome? Where does it say op child has been unwelcome ? She is 8 ffs!

She goes to school to learn - let every other child. Not to teach other children. There is a difference.

[smallfox2002]

Oh oh oh, i bet his mum is claiming benefits and jumped the housing queue too!

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

Helping another kid for a little while aged 8 is going to have ZERO negative effect on the OP's daughter's prospects. None.

[Peonie7654]

I would not want mine to share their brilliance with any other child! Sorry but children are at school to get the most that they can from the experience. It's not your daughters job to help a scared, helpless child! If your child has to help this other child all day she will suffer. Sorry but it's a dog eat dog world and I would not allow this to happen. WAy too much pressure for a small child.

I would be putting your concerns in writing, then I would be popping in to see what they said.

Try to get it all documented, it will help if you need to raise it the governors.

[Queenbean]

Why should a child that's doing well have to be pulled back to help weaker kids?

If this child is as bright as the OP says then is it really going to make a marked difference to her performance long term to be compassionate and help this child out in the short term?

[Ninasimoneinthemorning]

Top of the class ugh. Only hear this on Mumsnet. I don't believe for a minute that teachers tell parents that their child is top of the class hmm

Tbh I've only ever seen on here that you have to basically pretend your kids are struggling not to offend people...

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

Peonie are you doing a reverse post or something weird?

[Ninasimoneinthemorning]

That's not the point queen, it's not that child's responsibility to make sure the weaker child gets an education. That's the teachers job.

[Caipora]

I think there is a lot of assumptions in schools that these children need to be guarded and protected, in case the poor little snowflakes are going to crumble and feel totally overwhelmed by the situation. They already feel overwhelmed and they can become too reliant on the child they have been paired with. The child can often feel resentful towards the child and this leads to intergration problems. That's the angle I would go to the teacher with. I wouldn't worry about making sure you have the right end of the stick. You have your DD's interpretation of it, if that's wrong then the teacher still needs to know that's how she's feeling and it's the teacher's job to make sure she understands the situation better and reassure her that's not happening.

The child is better off learning from the beginning and getting help from the people who are paid to help them, teacher takes them to the lunch room and hands over to an adult there etc. Pairing them up with several children would be more beneficial for their learning than just one child as well.

[cannotlogin]

Hmmmm not at the expense of another child in the class. how is that fair?

It's been one day! How is this at the expense of another child? Developing empathy and understanding of other people and their situations is a useful life skill. Teaching others is proven to lock down learning - it will help the OP's child consolidate her own understanding of whatever she is learning whilst supporting another child. It is therefore more than likely to enhance her learning, not be somehow 'at her expense'. Peer support occurs informally all the time. Many schools have more formalised peer support programmes. It's not something to be scared of. There are huge benefits on both sides.

[Peonie7654]

A reverse post wtf? No, no child should have to look after another because the teacher can't be arsed.

Children go to school to learn, to maximise their learning and potential.

[Queenbean]

Yes Nina and maybe as part of her job the teacher has thought that she would ask a bright, friendly girl to show the new child the ropes for a few days. At no detriment to her own education.

Or do you think teachers have some sort of infinite resources and funds?

[smallfox2002]

Bet the teacher arrives at 9.00 and leaves at 3.30 too.

[Ninasimoneinthemorning]

Doing well/top of the class does not mean you are a bad person. Why are posters equating that? It's really sad that if you are seen as successful you are seen as 'bad' .

Should we all dumb down so we can be seen as 'kind' and 'welcoming'

But to be fair - isn't that what women have been trained to do for centuries. So why not inflict that on to our young girls in school too !

[ManonLescaut]

I have come across this teaching philosophy before - to have able children 'teach' the less able. The able child is supposed to lock down their knowledge by doing so. Personally I think it just holds them back, and it's primarily used by teachers with large mixed ability classes that they can't cope with. But that's just my opinion.

What your daughter describes is potentially true.

[Peonie7654]

Read kit kats post!