Dd and Hungarian boy in her class

[GastonsPomPomWrath]

This is wwyd situation. Please be gentle with me.

It's my children's first day back at school today. Dd is 8 and has just started year 4. She's a bright child, top of the class, good in all subjects.

There's a new boy in the class. We'll call him Y. Y is Hungarian and speaks no or very very limited English at the moment.

The teacher has put my dd with Y to partner him in everything. She must work with him, talk to him, play with him at play time and lunchtime and help him during dinner in the hall. He has to copy her work exactly so he can learn to write our language. Dd didn't manage to finish her work because Y was struggling to keep up with her.

Dd told the teacher that she was having trouble understanding him and him understanding her and the teacher replied that she "hasn't got a choice" and she "must teach him how to speak and write English."

Now I do understand that the boy is probably better off being integrated in the classroom to pick up the way things are done and the language but is it totally reasonable for the teacher to carry on with her lesson whilst letting my dd teach Y? The school don't seem to have any resources or staff available to teach one to one for children who don't use English as their first language. The teaching assistant didn't offer any help (I asked Dd)

Would you be happy with this situation?

Dd came home asking me to help her figure out how she will communicate with him tomorrow.

[KC225]

Agree with the others check she has understood what is expected of her.

[DoItTooJulia]

I'd definitely be speaking to the teacher about this. It's a huge responsibility for your DD with no timescale in place that your dd knows about.

I feel sorry for the boy too. I hope he's a fast learner, for his sake.

[goodbyestranger]

I'd be completely fine with it. Similar situation with my DD at school and the young DC learnt English remarkably qickly. It's a good thing for your DD to experience and help with.

[GastonsPomPomWrath]

Thanks for all the replies. I think some of you have hit on the fact that dd is looked on as a trusted member of the class, sensible and hardworking, always nominated for other jobs. So that might be why she's perfect for this one so to speak.

Like I said, I will check. I'm not out for an argument or so unreasonable that I think she shouldn't be doing this at all, I do understand that the boy needs to be there but as said upthread, it's a lot of responsibility without any adult help.

[LyndaNotLinda]

The onus to integrate the new boy shouldn't rest solely on your DD's shoulders but I agree it's worth checking what the teacher has actually asked her to do.

Off topic but how do parents know their child is 'top of the class'? Do teachers actually tell you that at parents' evening?

And if your DD is in 'the top sets' for everything, presumably she won't be looking after him all day every day, given there is streaming in your DD's school?

[HanYOLO]

If that is truly what your DD has been told, then it's absolutely not on. I can't believe any teacher would tell a Year 4 child it was their responsibility to teach a child English, or assign 100% of her time in school to buddying a new student.

Can you go and see the teacher and get this clarified?

[ColdTeaAgain]

Yes you need to get the teachers version of this.

Your DD is obviously very able if she's been chosen to help out and I wouldn't assume her work will suffer because of this. There's no better way to fully absorb a topic or concept than helping other understand too. I would discuss your concerns with teacher and find out exactly what the plan is but if anything, this experience could actually enhance your DDs education rather than hinder it.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

No, it is not a good thing for the OP's daughter. This has been foisted upon her and she clearly feels concerned and unsure about the situation. Teachers should be catering properly for the new boy. They are not. I would have loathed such an arrangement at the age of 8 - or indeed any age. Grrrr. So this is the OP's daughter's reward for being able? Hmmmmm

[Aeroflotgirl]

This is not acceptable, it is not your dd job to act as a chaperone and translator for this boy, the school should be paying somebody to do this. I would check with the teacher, and if it is true, I would tell her that you are not happy about it and want it to stop. If it does not, I would make a complaint to the HT.

[Owllady]

The Hungarian boys parents are presumably British taxpayers if they are economic migrants ffs

[Dahlietta]

I don't see why, if they must do it this way, they can't at least alternate a bit which child is helping him e.g. one before break, one at break, one after break etc., which would at least lessen the load. It's completely unreasonable to expect one child to look after him all day every day.

[Lorelei76]

surely the children should take turns helping out?

and tbh I'd split it so 2 children help each day, otherwise too much for one child.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

@Owllady
And? What is your point? Do you think this is an acceptable way to educate a child whose grasp of English is basic?

[norabattyapparently]

If your DD has described the situation accurately I would be going fucking mental

[shovetheholly]

I had this a lot at school. I was quite bright, and I was often paired with children who were struggling either because of language issues or because they were a bit behind. I found it upsetting and frustrating at the time, BUT it did me a world of good in the long run.

I'm very impatient and had a tendency to harumph in a madamish fashion when other children couldn't go as quickly as I wanted to. It taught me to be more tolerant, and also I ended up learning about the richness of other cultures and making a more international set of friends than I otherwise would, which has stood me in good stead for the rest of my life.

To be honest, most of the work in primary school is pretty basic and easy for bright children so it wasn't exactly holding me back - in fact it probably taught me about how to teach and to communicate really clearly when explaining concepts to others, which are skills that are useful in any graduate job later in life. I'm glad it happened now, though I did have a lot of angst about it at the time, much as any child pushed out of her comfort zone will.

[alfagirl73]

It's one thing to ASK your DD to help this boy... be friendly, show him around, and be a bit of a peer-to-peer buddy, but it is NOT your DD's responsibility to teach this boy English nor should she be ordered to basically babysit this boy (which is what it sounds like!) the whole time. All the kids should be encouraged to interact with him and help him in a friendly way - but that's as far as it goes. Anything more and it's the parents' and school's responsibility to ensure he has a translator and some extra English tutoring so that he can learn quickly and keep up.

[HereIAm20]

You'll be amazed at how quickly this boy will pick up English and integrate at that age. The little Saudi girl now has the same regional accent as everyone else and you wouldn't know she wasn't there from birth. I think within 3 months she was writing storys at the same level as the one kids.

My son also rounded up some of his friends to help him share the load so the suggestion to the teacher that perhaps this could happen is a good one.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

Yy to what others have said about checking. If it's as your DD describes, both children will need more support.

But it's pretty certain that the little boy will learn English very quickly. Children landed in a "sink or swim" situation linguistically tend to swim.

What a dumb comment about British taxpayers. Loads of people in this country seem ignorant of the fact that in most parts of the world there will be a variety of languages on the go in any given community/school. How do you think other places cope?

[IPityThePontipines]

I don't mind paying my taxes towards helping people settle into the country.

I do mind that my taxes probably pay towards the upkeep of racist, ignorant bigots, so it probably all balances out

[ColdTeaAgain]

I think until the OP has the teachers version of things we should all reserve judgement. We don't know how much notice the school has had to accommodation the child, they might be trying to put some better arrangements in place as quickly as they can.

[Owllady]

No I don't delicate, my post was to a churfer further up churfing about it being unfair to British taxpayers

[DoinItFine]

Off topic but how do parents know their child is 'top of the class'?

In my kid's case everyone knows. It's an established "fact" within her class.

She knows it. Her classmates know it and acknowledge it.

The teacher did allude to it at p-t meeting.

I'm obviously not there day to day, so I don't know how it plays out in class/the yard/school.

I'm not crazy about the situation, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it and obviously there are far bigger worries.

[Idliketobeabutterfly]

I'd check and if that is the case I'd say I wasn't willing to let my child become a translator. Surely a TA could help with this.

[Jaimx86]

Imagine it in the reverse:
You've moved abroad quite suddenly for work (or other. Reason

[DoinItFine]

I would be very unhappy about the instruction that she had to "partner him in everything" - it's a bit much to expect one girl to take on all this child's social interactions.

Apart from anything else, I wouod have thought it woukd be kinder to the boy to ask one of the boys to take care of him during break and lunchtimes.