to bury my son's former nursery key worker's tortoise in our garden?

[OrdinaryGirl]

DS1 (nearly 3) had a particularly excellent key worker at his nursery, when I first returned to work following maternity leave after having him. She still babysits for him and he adores her. Let's call her Ellie.

When I collected DS1 on Friday, I got chatting to Ellie and she said she was sad because her tortoise had died. I expressed condolences and asked if she was going to have a little funeral. She said she didn't have a garden so couldn't bury him at home, and her mum (who has a garden) was on holiday, so she wasn't sure what to do for best.

So. I offered to bury her tortoise. It felt like the right thing to do. We arranged for her to bring him round today.

I get home, and explained the situation to DH, and he has put his foot down ('See this foot?...) saying he doesn't want our small garden to be a repository for other people's dead pets, where will it end etc.

I said it was my garden too and anyway I had committed to doing it so he would have to lump it.

He is now really miffed. I think this is mean and unfeeling towards Ellie. ION, the tortoise is being dropped off in the next half hour and I have to work out how to store it until I can dig a suitable grave.) He thinks IABU.

AIBU?

By complete coincidence our 2 tortoises were given to us by ds2's key worker at preschool (she was rehoming them, we're tortoise lovers). They are currently hoovering up dandelions on the lawn before dh mows.

'Where will it end?' .......This has made my day; so funny

Slightly off topic, but I think it should be law when buying a house that the owners disclose the precise location of deceased pets.

I'd love a tortoise. My elderly aunt has one, it's as old as she is (late 80's) and I'm hoping she bequeaths him to me when she shuffles off this mortal coil.

You are very kind OP, and as long as the tortoise is definitely dead then bury it and plant something over the top of it. Make sure Ellis doesn't tell all her friends though or you could end up with a garden full of dead gerbils. And no husband.

Cremation?

I would have no problem with burying someones pet in my garden - it's all natural - I'm sure lots of animals/birds have died naturally in your garden and gone unnoticed by your DH. Unless you put a sign on the gate saying 'Tortoise Cemetery' you are unlikely to get hoards of folk with dead animals queueing up at your door.

Alternatively you can get pets cremated. And they will be put in a little urn/box for you.

I've had various tortoises over the years and some have died - it is quite easy to tell when a tortoise is dead (without going into gruesome details).

Clash ~ you can't say that and not tell the story :)

Tell your DH that decomposing animal matter is good for the soil.

I can't see what your DH's problem is. Tortoise is presumably quite small and its remains will fertilise the area of garden around it. I think it's a lovely thing to offer to do. And as long as someone pointed out, she doesn't own a horse, who she may want to place beside the tortoise on it's demise, I don't see why it should be a big issue.

This is a kindness to someone who your son loves and you can both trust to take good care of him when you need her to job of looking after when you need her to.He should be digging the grave and making a headstone!

Oops sorry repeating myself.

Do it. Years of anecdote will ensue.

A friend of my mum's kept her dead tortoise's shell on her windowsill, beautifully polished. When we asked how she did it, she said she buried it in an ant's nest and they ate all the soft tissue, then she dug it up and polished it.
We had tortoises when I was a child, and my mum often thought about trying it when they died, but never actually got round to it!

Hey ClashCityRocker what happened/ Did you dig up a decomposing dog?

oh come on. Surely your husband can see that this is very much a one-off situation? In what universe is this ever going to happen again?
YANBU.

No one's going to know what you do with it, are they.

Rusty that is gross!

Next, you'll be burying someone's dead dog in a bag for life

I think it's a nice thing to do and your DH is being a bit odd. You can put a little cross on top! Or a plant!

Rusty

We hadn't been in our previous house long - I don't think we'd even moved in yet and we're still living with Dhs parents whilst we got it sorted. There was big bushy thing in a slightly odd location so I decided to dig it up. Think it was a small dog originally but didn't get a good look as ran squealing for dh.

He's equally squeamish so we rang his dad who reckoned it was a dog.

Tbf, I'm guessing he'd been buried for a long time.

Oh I think you are kind. I'm not really that sentimental about dead pets, but when my dd was six her kitten got run over and she was very upset. We didn't have a garden so I had to sneak out at night to the local church and bury her in their garden.

That was really lovely of you to offer, OP.

ERMAHGERD Rusty
Never did I think the words 'soft tissue' could be so horrifically used (puts arms over head, fails to erase mental picture)

Cake now in oven. Read comments in haste and got confused about recommendation to 'put cross on top'. Thought was something to do with marking shell, buried treasure type thing.

Yes will make little cross for grave. Then take photo, then remove before DH sees

Tortoise now in freezer. Ellie brought bunch of lilies round as thank you, and birthday present for DS1. I love her.

Trying to work out if slightly odd smell in freezer was there before. Or not.

I've always wanted a tortoise ,where did she get it and how much....thought they were an illegal pet or something thou?