dh talks in bloody riddles

[sizeofalentil]

Am really not sure if iabu here…

If you asked you dh if he'd read the instructions before doing something and he replied "I couldn't read them on my phone, so I printed them out yesterday" would you think:

A. He read them
B. He didn't read them

Wonder if you'll agree with me.

Apparently my DP doesn't need instructions.

cries with relief OP you are not alone

My partner is like this. Drives me wild. Especially the time thing.

What's the time?

Half past ...

I've started asking him if he's spending money on words he's that tight with them.

He also does the technically accurate but wildly unhelpful answers.

Oh jeez. Dh does this. I asked a question the other day about something. I think it was sports related. It was a what does that mean sort of question.

He rambled on for about 20 minutes about the history of something and didn't answer the bloody question!!!

Mine does that. He does it with other people too. He is vague, or just waffles and gives confusing self-contradicting answers. If I'm in the mood I'll translate for him. Him, "Well, X, Y, Z but Q also?" Me: "He means no."

Shall we set up a support group? Genuinely shocked that about 50% of you realised what he meant though…

Mine also answers a different question! Usually while also inserting three vaguely related anecdotes or bits of information so I can't follow what the hell he is talking about. My dd is starting to do it too.
Drives me mad. I tend to be quite rude and tell him to stick to the point.

Oh I am so overjoyed to read this. I thought I was the only one, and that out there are millions of men answering the questions that are actually asked and omitting superfluous, irrelevant information that only confuses the issue. Turns out, I am not alone in this torture!

This would make me stabby

CodyKing your tea example is my life everyday. I get annoyed with the additional effort required to get an answer to a straight yes or no question. Why do I have to ask a further three different questions to get an answer? WHY WHY WHY?!

(There really should be a banging head on desk emoticon, I think it would be well used around here.)

No. DH leaves very clear instructions like "that thing needs dealing with. If you can't do it, phone Mark and get him to sort it. Remember to remind him to take away the packaging.

I have a new tactic. I tell OH to carry on answering my question about how his son is, which apparently involves a description of the internal combustion engine, at about 11pm when I've got insomnia.

This would make me stabby

Me also.

Mine sends text messages as though each letter costs a premium rate. I can rarely understand his truncated reply without referring back to my original message.

Mine says, 'what do you want to do about dinner', which actually means, 'what are we having for dinner' or, 'what are you thinking of cooking for dinner'. It isn't an invitation to suggest we go out or get a takeaway.

My answer to this stupid question is, 'eat some'.

"If I ask my DP if he has done anything and he say's yes....
Its a definite no. "

I recognise this as well, although DH sometimes prevaricates just a touch more - I say "have you done X" and he says "Of course! I'm doing it today" or "Absolutely! I've just started it". But yes, in general if he looks offended that I've even dared to ask, the answer is no, he hasn't done it.

My DS has a good one.

DS: What are you doing today?
Translation: Will you get me some stuff at the shops because I can't be arsed to walk there.

No. What man reads instructions anyway?!