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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Isn't it rude to carry on a conversation with someone on the phone in the presence of someone else

33 replies

friendlyfoxes · 03/09/2016 21:11

Assuming it's not an emergency?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 03/09/2016 21:13

It depends.

My times clash with my Adult DDs and Sister, if I didn't take the call, I wouldn't get to speak to them.

Likewise I've got health stuff going on and the call has to be taken, when they dictate.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 03/09/2016 21:15

It depends. If you were already on the phone and someone else appears at your elbow and wants your attention, then gesture to them that you're on the phone and carry on. They can wait.

If it you're on the phone and (for example) guests you have invited arrive at the appointed time, then you need to get off the phone asap. If it's not an emergency.

useyourimagination · 03/09/2016 21:15

Depends who was there first - the phone call or the person. If I'm already on the phone, unless it's an emergency you'll have to wait till I'm done.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 03/09/2016 21:16

We need context. Smile

MuseumOfCurry · 03/09/2016 21:17

I would take the call only if it were one of my children.

friendlyfoxes · 03/09/2016 21:50

If you're in a car with someone and they take a long phone call. It's awkward as you're just sat there listening to one end of the conversation !

OP posts:
RunningLulu · 03/09/2016 21:57

I don't think calling someone is rude. I do think texting at the table is very rude & won't stand for it in my family.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 03/09/2016 22:00

Hmm. I'm on the fence. It might be the only time they can make/take that call. It would be ruder of them to boot you out of the car.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 03/09/2016 22:06

I think it sounds rude in your example. If it's just a social call they should call back later.

If it was something important and short I'd apologize and say I have to take it. Then I'd get off the phone as soon as possible.

DelicatePreciousThing1 · 03/09/2016 22:08

Yes. Very rude.

kennypppppppp · 03/09/2016 22:11

If friends of mine do it I say to them "do you mind if I get a magazine out and start reading it". Which is a massive précis on something Larry David once did in curb your enthusiasm. And if it's good enough for LD, it's definitely good enough for me.

Wrinklesandspotstoo · 04/09/2016 08:10

If you think that's rude i had a colleague who'd walk into the staff room (had their own private office) while 2 or 3 were sat eating lunch / chatting and face time their family!

Poptart27 · 04/09/2016 08:17

I'll never forget the time I went to Amsterdam to visit a friend. In the car, at least 3 different times, she spoke Dutch for at least 30 minutes to god knows who. It wasn't an emergency. I was offended and thought it was beyond rude as I had flown to see her! Haven't been back, needless to say. It's been 8 years. Long distance friends now.

Frogers · 04/09/2016 08:22

A friend of mine used to take/make phonecalls everytime I was in her company. No emergency, no only time I can speak with the person just a chat with her sister/boyfriend/mum who she was more than likely seeing a few hours later. It was rude. We're not really close anymore so don't need to put up with it.

daisychain01 · 04/09/2016 08:26

Chit chat, aimlessly rambling on about trivia = rude, inconsiderate

Emergency, functional, need to discuss specific matter "call and done" = OK

EggbertHeartsTina · 04/09/2016 08:27

One of my bugbears is people staying on their phone when paying at the till in a shop. It just seems so rude not giving the cashier the time of day.

MuseumOfCurry · 04/09/2016 09:58

One of my bugbears is people staying on their phone when paying at the till in a shop. It just seems so rude not giving the cashier the time of day.

Treating people who serve you as invisible, another symptom of encroaching incivility in modern life. It makes me terribly sad to see people do this.

ingeniousidiot · 04/09/2016 10:09

It depends on the call and the company. If I'm out with friends in the daytime I take business calls that I need to answer, but they're short and necessary. Likewise I'll sometimes take calls from friends while in meetings (relaxed, round the kitchen table type) if it's important or necessary arrangements , but I keep calls brief and don't chat. I wouldn't so the long chat about nothing calls in anyone's presence - even dh & kids - it's rude and I might want to talk about them!

TSSDNCOP · 04/09/2016 10:16

If they are on the phone and a person appears to talk to them, not rude.

If with a person and the call is taken and not ended promptly, rude.

Worse than all, that talking extra loud to include the person that doesn't have the phone into the "hilarious," conversation with the two people that do.

HereIAm20 · 04/09/2016 10:50

I don't understand the - if you're in the car you about hearing one side of the conversation. If you're in the car you should be on hands free and thus hear all of it! Misses point of thread!

RichardBucket · 04/09/2016 11:10

Yes, it's rude.

Eminybob · 04/09/2016 11:17

I think it's rude.

My mum came to visit last week. Every evening she took/made a long phone call to her husband, while we were sat talking/watching tv in the living room. I was internally screaming at her to leave the room but didn't say anything. The trouble is she is so full of self importance that I'm sure she actually thought I would be interested in hearing one side of her conversation.

(It was a long 5 days, my tongue is sore from all the biting!)

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 04/09/2016 11:22

Meh. My friend picks me up for an activity every week, it's more convenient for us both if she drives (I do pay petrol!). She takes a call during the drive sometimes; it can be the only time she can speak to some family people. I don't mind. She's done me a favour driving and I'm more than capable of entertaining myself on my phone/looking out the window/etc.

I think I'm quite easy going in general, though. I don't mind Uber drivers making calls either.

SideEye · 04/09/2016 11:23

Rude and annoying unless urgent.

WatchingFromTheWings · 04/09/2016 11:27

*Today 08:27 EggbertHeartsTina

One of my bugbears is people staying on their phone when paying at the till in a shop. It just seems so rude not giving the cashier the time of day.*

Spent 10 years in retail and this was my biggest hate. I learnt very quickly to pretend the phone wasn't there and carry on the transaction as normal. Enough would be said if we chatted amongst ourselves and ignored the customer (which I never have or would do).