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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this journey too long for an 11 year old to take each day?

80 replies

Bookridden · 03/09/2016 19:59

I'm at the stage where I'm considering secondary schools for DD. We have 2 choices, let's call them school A and school B. A is a 45 minute walk and is a poor performing academy with poor GCSE results and a bad reputation. It is under subscribed and considered "rough", attracting a lot of pupils from poorer areas. On the plus side, it has great facilities and I would probably be able to drive and collect DD most days as it's close to my workplace.

School B is 11 miles away. It gets excellent results, is single sex, and has an outstanding OFSTED. DD would need to go on the bus each day. This would mean leaving home at 7.20am (bus stop is 10 min stroll from our house) and not getting home until 4.30pm.

DD is bookish, quite academic and certainly a "trier", quite unworldly and young for her age, and quite a tomboy. She likes her sleep and struggles with making friends due to a lack of confidence.

My questions are ; is the journey to school B too much? She will have homework and school clubs to factor in as well. But school B is a better fit for DD in lots of ways.

In my situation, which school would you be inclined to choose?

OP posts:

GabsAlot · 03/09/2016 21:29

school b but dont be swayed by same sex i went to one it was awful very bitchy

ChunkyMcBitch · 03/09/2016 21:42

The choice we had was the local school for yobs, a 10 minute bus ride away or the best school in the county, a 40 minute train ride away. We opted for the 2nd option. They are on the train at half 7 and get home at 4.15. Eldest went on to do A levels at a local college then attained a first class degree. Second child has just got 10 GCSE passes at A-C and is now going to college 70 miles away involving a 2 hour bus ride each way, leaving at 6am. This college offers him the subjects that l;ocal colleges don't and it is again the best in the area therefore it's worth it in his eyes. If he had been content with a 10 minute journey to school for the past 5 years I doubt very much he would have pushed himself to take on such a daily journey now.

Always Option B

Enkopkaffetak · 03/09/2016 22:17

School B I have 2 who leave at same time but do not return until 5 pm. It has never been a issue.

AllieinWonderland · 03/09/2016 22:28

If it's a better fit, school B for sure!

My DD1 goes to a different school because she preferred it, and enjoys her long train ride and walk up with a friend because she's with friends she doesn't necessarily see in school (other years/classes/friendship groups), and can listen to music or read before getting home to do homework. She also only actually sets off about half an hour before (7.10) the DCs/SCs who go to a school 2 miles away.

Kleinzeit · 03/09/2016 22:37

Waits for buses can be really grim in bad weather / dark evenings, often worse than trains because there’s less shelter and (at least where I lived then) buses were much less reliable than trains. I’ve done both, and no, I have not forgotten just how grim the bus journeys could be, and this is 40 years later. However you do need to look at the individual route, and if you can pick her up when things go wrong that could help a lot (my mother didn’t drive).

HeddaGarbled · 03/09/2016 22:46

4.30 return sounds fine, 7.20 start is too early IMO. Plus, I think you all have rose-tinted views of school buses/public buses as this haven of calm where a child can read in peace. Buses with a large number of school pupils are nasty and brutish and very difficult for sensitive young people who are not high up in the "pecking order".

However, 45 minutes walk to poor school also not good.

Are there no other options? If no, school B is probably the best bet but do be mindful of the fatigue and potential for bullying caused by the long journey.

SirKillalot · 03/09/2016 23:09

B. I used to do those times when I was at school.

BertrandRussell · 03/09/2016 23:15

Have you considered after school clubs, matches, rehearsals and so on? How would she get home from them? And what about going out with friends- where do people from both schools live? 45 minutes is wuite a long walk- could she cycle?

It's important to remember that she's 11 now- but will still be at whichever school you choose at 15- how will her social life work?

Is school A in special measures? Does it have plans to improve?

LellyMcKelly · 03/09/2016 23:47

Definitely B. It's a better school and sounds like it would suit your daughter better. I'd rather my daughter was safe on a bus for an hour than doing a 45 minute walk in the dark/rain etc.

GreatFuckability · 03/09/2016 23:52

i wouldn't be bothered about the distance, my DC have a similar school day, no choice as its the closest school.

SingaSong12 · 03/09/2016 23:58

On the face of it I would say B, but factor in whether public transport runs late. Check whether the school has been oversubscribed for the last few years and whether she will be likely to be offered a place. If she is then there might be other children with her on the bus and possibly she could you can arrange with other parents to share lifts so it isn't always you needing to collect her.

SingaSong12 · 03/09/2016 23:59

Meant collect from after school activities

daisychain01 · 04/09/2016 08:20

Has your DD given any opinion about which school she prefers? Have you tried both journeys out with her - to see if she is OK with the longer one?

OliviaStabler · 04/09/2016 08:23

School B without a doubt.

OMGSame · 04/09/2016 08:28

I had exactly the same choice - distance, timings and reputation almost exactly the same.

Went with school B and never looked back.

LynetteScavo · 04/09/2016 08:34

My DC do s similar journey you describe for school B.

The only downside is they don't have many local friends, and if they do an after school club I gave to collect.

Definitely do-able and worth it. They still have time and energy for after school activities close to home.

Scarydinosaurs · 04/09/2016 08:36

School B.

Will there be other children from her primary school applying there?

Wallywobbles · 04/09/2016 08:42

My 7, 2x 10 & 11 leave at 6.45 get home at 7pm. School hours are 8 - 6pm. Hours drive each way which they can relax in, tablet, sleep, whatever. They have breakfast in the car. Do homework at school. So home at 7, supper is on the table, shower and bed. Electronics on to charge.

It's doable but organization is key. I get up at 6 and pack their picnic breakfast, make DP coffee for car and then wake him up with a coffee and then kids, we aim to leave at 6.45 but can be a little later.

FoggyMorn · 04/09/2016 08:43

Absolutely school B.

I attended my local (rural) high school. It was 2mile cycle to the bus stop and another 17 on the bus. It was never an issue. Our dc (also rural) travel/have traveled similar distances. It becomes part of the normal routine very quickly.

eurochick · 04/09/2016 08:48

I got the 735 bus to school each day so it sounds very similar to my journey and pretty standard for secondary school. Loads of people at my school did linger journeys.

T0ddlerSlave · 04/09/2016 08:53

I used to walk to the train at 7:40 walk the other end to arrive at school for 8:40. Didn't get home til 5 ish. Was long and didn't leave much time for relaxing plus homework but was worth it.

My main concern would be whether ther are any school friends local to home or are they all miles away and hard to see.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2016 08:57

I think a 45 minute walk each way with no chance of a bus or a lift is not doable.

What about if the weather is crap? What if she wants to learn the double bass? What about food tec days- particularly if they coincide, as they always seem to- with the day she has PE and an after school match and has to take full PE kit and football boots?

madein1995 · 04/09/2016 08:59

To be honest I'd go with A. At B, shed be out 9 hours and that's before homework and things, she won't have much time to herself in the evenings. Plus you could do more lifts at a.

A bright kid will do well no matter where they go OP. My old school was rough bit me and my friends did well, it really does depend on the child. Bit of an anecdote, but most my year in school are in uni or working, a minority have had children young, 99.9% of kids did well for them. I think sometimes going to a rougher school helped me because I had to work that bit harder to do well and so I adjusted better in uni. Also it's good for children to mix with people who are from different social backgrounds than themselves

Notso · 04/09/2016 09:00

Where does your DD want to go? Will she have peers going to either school?

We had a similar choice for secondary for DD. She really didn't want to go to the far away school, said the journey made her feel sick. None of her friends were going etc.
She went to the closer school which went into special measures when she was in year 8. DD finished in June and got all A's and B's in her GCSE's. She is going to the further away school for sixth form.

DS1 picked the further away school but didn't get in. However he is thriving in the closer school.
I'm not saying the local school doesn't have its problems but it is nowhere near the hell hole many people seem to think it is.

madein1995 · 04/09/2016 09:03

Isn't there a c or a mode of transport? Walking 45 mins for school seems far to me - especially if its wet and she'd be in wet clothes all day, sounds miserable. But B is also too far. Could you give her a lift to school, or another member of the family, a friend etc. Surely you know someone with a dc who's going to that school, would they be happy to give lifts if you give petrol money? Lots of people I know do this

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