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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bear with me...just need to RANT!

27 replies

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 18:32

Ok, dh's looney ex just phoned up asking to speak to him, so I told her he was at work. She then says if he's at work, how did he send her an e-mail earlier? I say, because he asked me to type it for him. She then kicks off (as usual) wanted to know why I'd sent it to their dd's e-mail address. Apparently dd's 10 yo friend had read it to her after school. As is always the case looney ex then squawks on and on and on and on without taking a breath or letting me get a word in edgeways. I try to say over her, that if she's asking questions and not letting me answer them, then there's no point in me staying on the line. So I hang up. I then go to phone dh and realise she's still on the phone....she's so busy bleating on that she hasn't realised I'd hung up on her

The e-mail was a very innocent one, written in a completely civil manner, asking for some information about when dh is seeing dd next month. Looney ex actually phoned him the other night and suggested a date for him to see dd and he was just following this up asking to confirm times as he would need to take the day off work.

(Dh's contact with dd is another V long story involving a contact order that looney ex doesn't stick to, so basically dh is 'granted' time with his dd when looney ex feels like it. )

When I sent the mail to her address it came straight back, so I sent it to dd's with a big message at the top explaining why it was going to this address. Dd is 8 and I would never have sent the mail to her if there was anything in it which would be upsetting - tbh there was nothing in it that she wouldn't have been aware of anyway

So, tried to call looney ex back to get my side of things across and her doormat of a new husband answers the phone. Looney ex is still in the background carrying on, and husband says she doesn't want to speak to me..I mean she's 40 not 14 ffs! She now isn't even adult enough to finish a conversation in a civil manner.

AAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, rant over.

OP posts:

sexkittyinwaiting · 01/02/2007 18:46

Sorry detoxdiva, she sounds very 'challenging'
I feel sorry for the poor dd having a loony mum like that. There's not alot you can do is there when someone's that crackers. Open some wine

handlemecarefully · 01/02/2007 18:47

Lordy - she has issues. Sympathies!

Hayls · 01/02/2007 18:47

I thinks she probably got upset because she thought you/dh were trying to make arrangements with her dd 'behind her back'. Obviously you were trying to help and do the right thing but it might have seemed like you were meddling.
Think you should have little contact with her and allow her/dd /dh to make all the arrangements from now on. Tell dh you would rather not get involved as there are obviously still issues between them that you really don't need to get involved in as nobody will thank you. And stop calling her looney ex!

I just know I should preview this so apologies if it causes offence...none intended, it is clearly a difficult situation

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 18:48

lol - 'challenging' is one word...I can think of many more, and yes, dd is undoubtedly affected by her mothers 'challenging' personality

Yep, wine sounds good...detox on hold for tonight

OP posts:

Stiller · 01/02/2007 18:50

There's not that much content in your post about why she's a looney or why her new husband is a doormat. Perhaps you should try behaving in a civil manner as well.

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 18:50

Hayles..no offence taken! Tbh, I have had nothing to do with her in all the years that dh and I have been togther, and that's just the way I like it. But what's pissed me off is that one one hand she's ranting at me and asking loads of questions, and the on the other, she's refusing to talk

OP posts:

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 18:53

Stiller - not meant to be much content- just needed a rant, although having read my post back, it seems pretty clear why I think she's a looney.

As for her husband .. well, I don't know him, so maybe the doormat comment is a little unfair, but that's just the impression he gave me on the phone.

OP posts:

Stiller · 01/02/2007 18:58

Ok. Not much point in posting if you only want to rant - that kind of implies that you don't want responses.

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 19:02

Stiller - I don't want a row I didn't ask for responses, just to let off steam. Trust me, after 7 years of having to deal with dh's ex, you'd want to rant too

(But if I get some responses that make me smile, then I'll not complain!)

OP posts:

sexkittyinwaiting · 01/02/2007 19:02

Stiller, that's a strange thing to say!!!!! It's perfectly reasonable to want to rant and also have responses. I'm sure you done that a fair few times yourself

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:03

Fair enough

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:05

Yeah I have Kitty, but I got the impression from detox reply that she didn't want to discuss it. Fair enough though. I can understand why someone just wants to let off steam.

sexkittyinwaiting · 01/02/2007 19:06

themildmanneredjanitor · 01/02/2007 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 19:09

OP posts:

compo · 01/02/2007 19:10

I have to say it does seem odd to be sorting out arrangements for dh in an email written by you. I think I'd have got dh to phone her in the first place tbh

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:14

I didn't intend it to be aggressive at all. I appologise to detoxdiva if it seemed that way. I just thought it was a bit harsh to keep calling her husbands ex a looney.

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 19:14

Dh wrote the mail..I just typed it (from his e-mail address) and sent it. I wasn't trying to interfere, just do my dh a favour and save him a job as he works long hours. While he phones his dd, he has started e-mailing ex as there have been so many phone calls with her like the one I had tonight in the past, that it's just easier to write it down. Plus it means he has a copy of what is arranged for when she starts playing up about contact

It's such a shame that everything to do with his dd has to be so complicated, but that's how it's always been with her.

OP posts:

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 19:17

No need to apologise Stiller - and I'm sorry if 'looney' causes offence , but that's just what I call her to my dh, as have discovered that having a sense of humour about he whole situation is the only way to stop us going mad!

Hopefully it goes without saying that I never bad mouth her infront of their dd - something that doesn't work both ways unfortunately

OP posts:

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:21

Totally agree about having a sense of homour. I call my ex-parents in law Fred and Rose West . They obviously aren't like them at all , but they do bear a striking resemblence.

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:24

humour

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 19:25

Lol. Blimey - Fred & Rose West....and you were offended by 'looney'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:28

Yeah, I know. Sorry to have pissed on your thread.

Original poster

detoxdiva · 01/02/2007 19:30

No it's fine - took my mind off that loon..ooops sorry...and I've calmed right down now Must go and read the Sainsbury's thread and cheer myself up further!

OP posts:

Stiller · 01/02/2007 19:31

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