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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not provide loads of alcohol at a party?

113 replies

Scruffles · 02/09/2016 23:04

We're having a christening party at home, there's going to be about 35 adults plus children. I have no idea how much alcohol to provide! When I was talking to a couple of friends about it they said that people will bring a bottle of whatever they drink so don't worry about it but I'm not sure. It doesn't feel right to assume people will bring a bottle and not provide much but I'm putting on a big buffet so don't want to spend loads of money on alcohol that won't get drunk.

Do people normally bring a bottle for something like this? Beginning to wish I'd just gone for somewhere with a bar now!

OP posts:
wombattoo · 02/09/2016 23:44

Scruffles - I think it would be different if it were at someone's home. I wouldn't know whether to take a bottle or not. It sounds like a lovely idea though.
Zombies by the time the christening is over and everyone has reached the venue, it's nearer 12. Grin
Although my friends (couples) used to meet at about 9am before weddings and start drinking. lush

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 02/09/2016 23:53

You can take wine back Shock

MilnersGold · 02/09/2016 23:53

I have been to quite a few Christenings, I have never been offered an alcoholic drink. Maybe I've missed out, I'm genuinely amazed the OP is worrying about this.

The biggest kerfuffle I've seen at a Christening was who got the last slice of my Aunts amazing fruit cake... I obviously am out of touch

coolerthanthereddress · 02/09/2016 23:56

Interesting. Every day-time christening I've been to has involved a booze up afterwards and I would think it odd to only be served tea!

FrancisCrawford · 03/09/2016 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Scruffles · 03/09/2016 00:11

What is classed as nice lemonade?!

OP posts:
Babymamamama · 03/09/2016 00:15

I think if you buy via oddbins you can purchase on a drink or return basis and they will lend you glasses for free. I don't work for them honest but it can be handy if you're not sure how much to provide. We used them for a recent large family party and it worked well. I'd suggest just one red and one white option plus juices and sparking water.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 03/09/2016 00:19

I would never expect an alcoholic drink at a Christening, and I alwyw expect an alcoholic drink. So I'd never rock up with a bottle. Your plan to just buy stuff you like so you can enjoy it later is sound though!

FrancisCrawford · 03/09/2016 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhTheRoses · 03/09/2016 00:33

Christening, after the family service, so kick off 12 noon. Christening party at home with nice food and lashings of champagne.

You invite people and are the hosts. Therefore you don't expect anyone to BAB.

ManagersDilemma · 03/09/2016 00:43

YANBU. We used to provide booze but found that people took the piss - a significant minority turned up empty-handed and got wasted. Now we insist that everyone brings what they intend to drink.

manyathingyouknow · 03/09/2016 07:59

Catholic here as well.

Provide at least some drink

Pengweng · 03/09/2016 08:15

A glass of wine would be nice but I wouldn't expect one.
From buying stuff for the PTA christmas fair at school i know that both Tesco and Aldi will do sale or return on alcohol so you can take back anything that doesn't get used up.

GrimmauldPlace · 03/09/2016 08:24

The strangest christening I ever went to was the one where we went in to the church hall after the ceremony, sat down and had a cucumber sandwich and cup of tea then went home. Not even a slice of cake.

The usual christenings I go to involve alcohol and a buffet. My family usually find any excuse for a piss up though so probably not the norm Grin

Lules · 03/09/2016 08:24

I'm amazed people don't drink at christenings. I can't think of a more celebratory event apart from a wedding! We hired a pub ( was no charge on Sundays) and then the hardcore came back to ours for more wine. One of my favourite memories is bundling us all + pram into a taxi. And it's not really the morning - for us, service at 11, ends 12.30, faffing until 1. And you can definitely drink with Sunday lunch!

Lilaclily · 03/09/2016 08:29

Can you explain more about timings?
Is it a morning ceremony and then back to yours for lunch which is the buffet ? Yes I'd expect a few glass's tbh

TENDTOprocrastinate · 03/09/2016 08:29

I think providing some wine, beer and prosecco (for a toast) is appropriate. I think people generally tend to drink more white wine than red. Especially in the summer.
I wouldn't bring my own bottle to a christening. (Like I would to a party/dinner party)
Soft drinks should be provided too.

NicknameUsed · 03/09/2016 08:31

We offered wine at DD's christening, but it was more a case of a glass or two rather than a booze up. There were a lot of drivers there so I did end up making lots of cups of tea.

junebirthdaygirl · 03/09/2016 09:13

Irish from a big Catholic family with a lot of christenings and no booze. For goodness sake it's all about a baby. We have big get together, food but no alcohol at 2 pm in the afternoon. Remember it's the parents who set the tone of the party so you can plan none or very little and that will be fine. In our family there would always be lots of children, cousins and friends children so not a great place to have boozy guests.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/09/2016 09:20

The people saying they wouldn't expect booze - clearly OPs circle will, as they've said that people might bring a bottle! And it's not unusual to have alcohol to celebrate a christening in the afternoon at someone's house.

I think your plan sounds great, OP.

SerenDippitee · 03/09/2016 09:26

People do NOT BYO to a christening! Shock

Get a case each of red, white and fizz on sale or return from Majestic.

HyacinthFuckit · 03/09/2016 09:29

Alcohol at christenings is very culturally and denominationally dependant! I learned from MN that some people think drinking at christenings is strange. Never had the foggiest idea such views existed otherwise!

With that in mind, agree with a pp you take your cue from your circle. Yours OP sounds like a more drinky one.

SanityClause · 03/09/2016 09:31

Get glasses from waitrose (they provide them for free) and have a table where the wine is poured out in fairly small glasses. (You could probably get 6 or 8 out of a bottle.) Also have juice, water, or whatever for non drinkers/drivers. Maybe squash for the children. People will take one and a couple of sandwiches or cakes, and go and chat. They may come back for a second, but lots won't.

Once the table is empty, pack the dirty glasses away in the crates. People will start to get the message, and drift off.

However, if you want a big boozy party, have one. But supply drinks for it.

PuppyMonkey · 03/09/2016 09:32

June - are you quite sure you're Irish? With my family, it's any excuse - particularly if you have kids there. Grin

I think provide booze just in case and if nobody wants it, happy days. You've got lots of wine for another day.

Amusing how many people are shocked at the thought of having a drink at 2pm. ConfusedShock

welshweasel · 03/09/2016 09:37

I've never been to a christening where we've not had a fair amount to drink! Usually plenty of fizz, wine, beer for the boys. Some sort of food and then christening cake for afters. I've never thought to take a bottle, just a gift for the child. I think I'd feel a bit weird taking a bottle into church. I haven't had DS christened but if I did I'd plan for half a bottle of fizz per person and half a bottle of wine per person (split â…” white â…“ red) and a couple of crates of beer. You can always return what you don't use.