Choosing to sit young child with strangers on a plane

[redskytonight]

Yes, I am being very judgey but do I have the right to be?

Long haul flight -family of 5 comprising 3 small children (ages 2,4 and 6 at a guess), mum and dad. They have a block of 4 seats across the middle of the plane, plus a seat in the middle of the block of 4 behind. The seat is next to a man sitting across the aisle to the rest of his family on one side. On the other side is a 12 year old girl, and her mum, and the rest of their family across the aisle.

I have to admit that if this was my family I would sit one parent + all children on the single row (these were the seats they were assigned if it makes a difference), and the other parent behind. And maybe swap the adults half way through the flight.

The family actually chose to sit their 6 year old in the row behind. She spent a lot of time calling for her parents, the 12 year old spent a lot of time helping her to do things (operate ife, manage food) and telling her not do things (climb on seat), and the man sitting next to her felt obliged to swap seats with his wife (presumably because he wasn't happy sitting next to a young girl, but that is just my guess).

AIBU to think this was a really odd seating choice to make?

I sat next to an unruly child and his parents had two seats together elsewhere on the plane.

I'm surprised the airline allowed it

I once flew long haul and each if us was given separate seats. That's me, DH, DD6 and DD4. I was so angry with the Airline and I'll never fly with them again. I wasn't in touching distance of DD4. I was so upset about the whole thing.

She was sat with 2 ladies who reassured me they'd look after her and apologised that they couldn't swap, as they'd already been separated from their DHs on the flight.

I couldn't even see DH and DD6, as they were much further away.

It's not always the fault of the passengers.

I've read somewhere that some people actually book that kind of seat pattern so people won't sit beside them, so they have a free seats beside them. Yanbu

Do airlines separate children and parents who book seats? I would have thought you would have been kept together, Sandy.

Crazy how different airlines have such different rules isn't it. Some seem to think it's fine but wasn't it easy jet that didn't let a family fly as there was no way to seat the parents and children together and no one would move?

I know someone who deliberately sat their 3 year old next to strangers on a plane as they knew the child would sit in scared silence for the whole flight just because of the social anxiety. I think that's awful, but he did do it.

Someone should have offered to swap so they could all sit together. It is bloody hard work keeping little kids content on a long flight. One parent in charge of all three while the other has a kip in the row behind is not a suitable arrangement unless the children are aliens.

I would have done just the same as this family, in the expectation that someone would swap.

AGenie that's cruel what a asshole!!

Sandy, surely one of the women could have swapped with you - they'd already said they werent sat with their husband so surely it wouldn't have made such a difference to them.

One parent in charge of all three while the other has a kip in the row behind is not a suitable arrangement

That's the arrangement we generally prefer if it's a long haul night flight. I sit with the three DC and DH sits behind. This way he gets some sleep as he will drive home from the airport. But I would never sit a child on their own if I could avoid it.

Someone should have offered to swap so they could all sit together.

Its a Boeing 747. There is no bigger plane. There are no more than 4 seats together. What do you thing "someone" was going to be able to do?

This was 10 years ago now, but I was outraged by it.

Sandy, surely one of the women could have swapped with you - they'd already said they werent sat with their husband so surely it wouldn't have made such a difference to them.

Well that would have meant they were sat on their own, next to strangers. They wanted to be next to one friend or family member. I didn't really blame them and I was more annoyed with the Airline. Who sits a 4 year old on their own without their parents.

If I'd have wanted to send her on the plane unaccompanied, I would not have been allowed to, yet they separated all 4 of us. Luckily she was well behaved and didn't cry. That was an 8 hour flight as well.

I can see that one parent being left looking after the 3dc while one parent sits on their own isn't ideal so their option seems fairly sensible to me. Not ideal but not terrible parenting imo.

That's terrible Dixie. You would think, with all the computer systems they have now, it wouldn't be that difficult to give people similar seating arrangements.

YANBU

What if, worst case scenario, sudden severe turbulence hits and the child is freaked out/ is sick etc? Who would then care for the child then if they were seated alone?

I wouldn't do it. Not in a million years.

If I had a six year old beside me on a long flight I wouldn't be pleased if I had to help her or tell her not to climb on seats. That's not my job!

"One parent in charge of all three while the other has a kip in the row behind is not a suitable arrangement unless the children are aliens."

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that if you'd prefer to sit your small child with other people just to spite your partner from being able to sit alone and have peace and quiet, then you are a shit parent.

We are a family of five and, at that age, would have sat one parent in the single seat and swapped half way (or more often if they dc were being annoying, haha!)

Most sensible thing under the circs would have been for either the dad who was sat on his own, or the mum and 12 year old (together) to swap so that the family of five had 3 seats in one row and 2 seats in the other. Parents could then have divided up the children according to which child would need the most attention - most likely have one parent take the two year old and the other the older two.

The 12 year old was part of a different family, not travelling with the 6 year old.

why should another child manage their child?

if i was the 12 year olds parent s i would have saidsomething

I saw something similar on our flight back from Spain a few weeks ago.
A family, mum, dad, 2 kids and a baby. First they we're last on the flight and they made a fuss because they couldn't all sit together, seats had to be booked in advance. Eventually mum and dad and baby sat in 2 seats together and the 2 kids sat in 2 other seats 10 rows back.
I thought it was odd that the parents didn't take a child each.

I saw a family who hadn't pre-booked seats together guilt trip and bully a woman who had booked her seat into moving so they could sit together. They even congratulated themselves on it after she'd shifted to a less nicer seat away.

YANBU.
What a stupid thing to do.