To think my bil is unemployable and in laws will have to fund him

[pleasemothermay1]

My bil is 28 and never had a job he currently get an allowance of about 12k a year and lives in a very nice part of town in in laws flat

He has adegree in a subject that is pretty much a flight of fancy and is not getting a "proper" job because he is waiting to be discovered

He is quite depressed tbh we feel it's most likely caused by nit much purpose in life meaning he has nothing to get up for he was hoarding and nut really looking fire the flat so inlaws got a cleaner

Dh wanted inlaws to tackle the elephant in the room he's is very bright and really dh thinks he needs to do one of 3 things

Get any job
Get a art related job
Or re train nd get a job

However because he's 28 and never worked not even a staurday job it's unlikely any one would hire him he's also prone to switching off his phone that's also paid for by in lawsand taking off

Aibu to think this is really a Situation off there own making and they really needed to be firmer with him but it's a bit late now when it's likey he quite past being able to handle a job of any kind and because he's so used to being funded by in laws he won't here of even taking somthing art related it has to be a jobbing artist or nothing and tbh the type of art he dose is not the type you could even buy and hang on the walls

ant your dh talk to his parents about the money situation-theyre not doing t hemselves or him any favours
dh has talked with them fell out with them over this as has his other borther but we have come to the conclusion it's guilt money more than anything I think they feel bad for not intervening sooner and indulging he is Invloved in video art and won't do anything apart for, that we have all tried getting him teaching he's actually really lovey and can draw very well we have talked about art thephery also even doing wedding videos on weekends to fund his art during the week

I think what makes it worse it the money he gets he dosent actually spend and lives like a hobo he didn't even have a bed up until last year he squirrels it away he also won't volunteer as it interferes with his creative process 🙄

The reason why we offered to let him live here as we hope this would provide a way for in laws to take back the flat with out seeing him homeless and we can't afford to support a adult so he would have to work but like I said they wouldn't so he's still living part time in the flat and part time at his art studio

I pity the woman who ever ends up with this waster.

Why on earth do parents do this? He's 28 fgs, not a child. They really are making a huge mistake funding him, providing for him like this. How will he cope when the money and support is no longer there?

I am not surprised you are worried op. I would be too. They have basically created a man-child who will not do anything to help himself. Not even volunteer as it will interrupt his 'creative process'. FFS!

He won't do a thing whilst he doesn't have to.
They should give him a deadline when the money will stop, say 6 months, and tell him to get off his lazy arse and sort himself out.

Yes it is your inlaws problem, they have made this themselves. But you don't have to sort it out, they do, he is their child, not yours! They should withdraw the allowance and let him discover the hard way.

Do your in laws want to take back the flat? If they're happy with the arrangement and so is he, I really don't see the need for you to be involved.

"They live in the uk but not mainland so we're left to sort out everything"
Sort out what? I would stop sorting it (whatever "it" is) so that they have to come and do it themselves. Your 'sorting' allows them to pretend it's not happening, out of sight out of mind, sweep it under the carpet. No. Enough. They made this mess, they can deal with it.

Just a thought on his depression. Are you sure it is depression and not affectation? That he doesn't think an artist has to 'suffer' to create good art, and he's not just trying to be all bohemian and tragic?