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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help see why/how people struggle financially

73 replies

MymumandI · 31/08/2016 23:34

I have nc'd for this

My mum and I were having a discussion about debt and it led to a small debate. One of us thinks that people get into debt through frivolous spending (not buying Chanel or anything, but maybe going on holiday when you can't afford it). The other thinks some people get into debt because they can't afford the essentials (e.g. rent and childcare) .

I know this is cheeky , but is there anyone who can help settle this? I'm not looking for a bun fight, but more of people saying why they are in debt/struggling.

I will explain in more detail about what we both think later. Eant the OP to be neutral (ish).

OP posts:

Obsidian77 · 01/09/2016 01:04

Sorry Buggers I was crying too much to remember that specifically. Early 2000s I think.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/09/2016 01:05

Some are feckless

Some aren't

HTH

LauderSyme · 01/09/2016 01:42

Yes Obsidian and Buggers I think it was the early noughties.
I was living abroad from late 2000 til mid 2003 and was only able to read a British newspaper once a week. During that time I watched as my hopes of ever owning my own home faltered and dwindled in a monotonous succession of ever more hyperbolic house price headlines.
I'm in debt because prolonged illness meant I was unable to work ; after a while the sick pay stopped coming but the bills didn't. I took out credit to survive, my health recovered, I began to pay back what I owed then unexpectedly became a single parent. I am still paying it back but much more slowly.
I deal with people in debt in my job. Most of them just do not have enough money coming in to cover their basic, reasonable living costs.

Astoria797 · 01/09/2016 05:57

I initially got into debt paying for my sister's wedding. But I disregarded all the conventional rules & would save money regularly anyway. 10 years later loans repaid and I had the deposit for a house.

SillySongsWithLarry · 01/09/2016 06:44

I'll jump. I did buy essentials on credit but I also got into a lot of debt living beyond my means. I went to Florida and Africa on a credit card, bought clothes and shoes because it felt good when people said I look nice etc. I have remortgaged and paid off the lot and now save a lot because I was so used to debt repayments that when I stopped spending I had a lot to save. But I was one of the people you could have judged for having stupid self inflicted debt.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 01/09/2016 07:14

why did I get into debt?

well, that was down to my washing machine and cooker breaking just before xmas. I was on benefits at the time ( a carer to my DC) and had zero savings. I had to get a new cooker and washer on finance that took the best part of 3 years to pay off. the finance was far higher because I was on benefits.There was no way I could live without either of these. It was a no choice option.

Every single person is just 3 months away from losing their home. A job loss can throw you into debt. Losing your home (landlord selling, tenancy not renewed) can throw you into debt. Yes, frivolous spending, living beyond your means can too but so can a shock bill.

My mother ended up in debt because her car insurance payments when up substantially after her car accident and she needed the car for work so had to pay it but cut elsewhere because her income was limited and no op for overtime.

My degree also left me in debt. In fact i had banks throwing credit cards and student overdrafts at me (I took the overdraft not the credit card) I was very unlucky in my first year at uni and my student loan wasn't paid until november. I paid the rent from my overdraft and my food costs. I also underestimated how much it would cost to live in my student house and moved out pretty rapidly to a more pricey bedsit but where I wasn't buying food for others to steal and elec bills that were sky high. Took me years to pay off that overdraft.

I'm not ashamed to be in debt its becoming a fact of modern life where wages don't fully meet all the bills or you are just left with £10 in your pocket every week. Its shit and the odd luxury makes life feel worth living.

liletsthepink · 01/09/2016 08:13

Someone I know ended up in debt when his ex stopped contact with his children and he had to go to court. He didn't have time to save up for court fees but it took him several years to pay off the debt.

Another persons I know was married to a secret gambler. The first she knew of it was when the bailiffs turned up. She ended up divorced and bankrupt.

I think far too few people actually think about financial matters with their partners before they marry or cohabit yet it's such an important factor within a relationship.

isittimeforcoffee · 01/09/2016 08:33

We got into debt because a week after I handed my notice in as a teacher to become a SAHM to three young children, my partner was made redundant from his well paid job with no notice. Teaching had really affected my mental health so there was no way I could go back to it, and my partner struggled to find something else. Benefits were shockingly bad (how anyone can manage on them is beyond me) and we had a car on finance to pay, were tied into mobile phone and sky contracts. We downgraded our packages as much as we could but you can;t just get out of a contract. In the end we just had to stop paying them to prioritse rent/food/kids stuff, which of course made us in debt and has affected credit score. Things are better now - we are both working now, but still have debts from that period of time.

PoppyFleur · 01/09/2016 08:42

So, your mum isn't comfortable giving personal details & neither are you hence the name change but you would like details of other people's lives?

It would be lovely if you too could share some information OP or do you have enough personal stories to craft your Daily Mail article now?

expatinscotland · 01/09/2016 09:13

Hmm, so is C5 going to be switching over from benefits porn programming to debtors porn programming?

MollyRedskirts · 01/09/2016 10:36

I've withdrawn my post because I don't feel comfortable sharing my personal details on a thread where the OP (and mum) won.t share theirs. Why should I be open when they aren't?

Original poster

MymumandI · 01/09/2016 16:41

No one asked me any personal details and my mother's (job) is easily identifiable that's why. I name changed because I don't want my name known in RL (simple enough to figure I would have thought).

Anyway, the debate ended last night thanks to those that contributed.

And what miserable lives some of you must lead. Why not report if you think I'm a journalist and let MNHQ handle it

Again, thanks to those who contributed.

OP posts:

Morsecode · 01/09/2016 17:23

Such a dense OP. Two people read others' personal experiences then sit and discuss them? Really??

misscarlar · 01/09/2016 20:03

I got into debt because of an ex partner losing his job and having to cover more in bills than I was earning.

mygorgeousmilo · 01/09/2016 21:12

You are kidding..... Please

moofolk · 01/09/2016 21:34

Congratulations op you are the most middle class person on mumsnet today!

TheDMIsWrittenByCuntsForCunts · 01/09/2016 21:40

All my debt is due to my university education, without which I wouldn't have my career and a well paid job with which to pay the debt off. So...

PickleSarnie · 01/09/2016 21:45

I had to remortgage my house, sell a kidney and send my smallest up chimneys to fund my biscuit addiction.

But, here, you can have some too. Quick, before they're repossessed...

user1471552005 · 01/09/2016 21:49

twatbadging Every single person is just 3 months away from losing their home. A job loss can throw you into debt

Really?

I'm not commenting on the Ops question, probably some poor 14 year old late with a homework assignment.

BlancheBlue · 01/09/2016 22:02

As someone said this sounds like a journo fishing for some shitty daily mail article

Crunchymum · 01/09/2016 22:10

We're in debt because I have had 2 years out of 3 off (maternity leave) and now work PT.

Whilet the debt isn't to pay for actual essentials like food and rent it has funded a few xmases and birthdays. No extravagances as such but I am sure we could have spent less (it's credit card debt, about 5k, and we transfer the balance every now and then so we don't pay interest)

OhTheRoses · 01/09/2016 22:26

Debt isn't always stupid. In the late 90s/early 00's we used 0% credit and switched it to invest in shares. DH did more than I thought he was doing. Free money to invest for personal gain.

I think you and your mum need to think more laterally.

Doobydoo · 01/09/2016 22:30

What Northern said.

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