to expect dog owners to help in this situation

[cansu]

I have a dc with severe autism. He is non verbal and has significant learning disabilities. He walks in a slightly odd way, hand flaps and makes odd noises so he is quite visibly different. He is also scared of certain noises and is frightened of dogs despite my own parents having two lovely little dogs who have never harmed him. Whenever we go out for a walk, he gets v upset by dogs running towards him. I try and put myself in front of them. I make it clear he is scared but dog owners invariably chuckle and tell me oh he is just giddy, no harm in him etc etc, making no effort at all to either call dog over or put hand on dogs collar whilst we pass by. Meanwhile ds is flapping, shouting, running into bushes etc. He is an older teen so not possible to scoop him up if I see a dog coming over. I don't expect dog to be on lead, but would it be unreasonable for a dog owner, once they have twigged situation to call over dog whilst we pass by??

[cansu]

Gosh if the dog was just to sit that would be amazing as he would then be able to walk past quickly. It is the dog running unpredictably around him that is the issue. Honking my ds also hates shouting and would start shrieking himself if I shouted. We must have very similar boys!

[Dontneedausername]

I'm another one with 2 kids petrified of dog. No ASD, just an irrational fear as nothing has ever happened to them.
We walk in local woods a lot, lots of dogs off leads. If I see a dog running, I keep my kids to my side, tell them to ignore the dog and when I see the owner I ask them to call the dogs back as the kids are scared. Most do, it's not a bother at all. It's the ones who shout "oh he's friendly, he won't bite and let the dogs come pelting at us, jumping and excited. I know the dogs won't hurt them, but they scare the crap out of the kids. That's when they'll get a mouthful off me! But I do really appreciate all the owners who will hold onto their dog, or even ask the kids nicely if they want to stroke the dogg which the kids do occasionally.

[Willow2016]

Summer do you want a pick axe as the hole you are digging yourself has hit bedrock by now?

The op's son IS NOT going up to dogs and 'flapping at them' the DOGS ARE RUNNING UP TO HIM. WHich part of that dont you understand?

READ her posts, she does stand between her son and any dogs going past on a lead, but its the ones who come bounding up and scare him that make him run. My son was the same for a long time after a couple of scares with dogs, he would run blindly, it was terrifying, luckily we have a fairly quiet road here or he could easily have been knocked down and he was far to old to 'hold my hand' in public.

Its not the op's job to keep dogs away from her son its the dog owners job. Not everybody wants some strange dog to 'be friends' with them. Its not just being 'friendly' either its being a bloody nuciance. I am sick of having muddy footprints on my clothes due to some git not being able to control their dog and their excuse is he is just being friendly... well maybe you should be 'friendly' and clean my coat/jeans/tshirt for me?

[OhThatThingAgain]

I seriously can not understand why people can't control their dogs? I taught mine recall and sit as puppies. They are loonies in the 'dog area' but if in the park they walk to heel, recall and sit on command.

I think some people need training as well as their dogs. I love dogs, had them all my life. I'm no expert trainer but as long as recall and sit are sorted you can go anywhere with them without scaring people who don't like dogs.

I can honestly not understand why people have dogs and don't train them. It's pretty easy to get recall and sit sorted, a pocket of treats does the job.

OP I'm sorry you've had a hard time, you should be able to take your son anywhere you choose without needing to explain yourself or him

[hownottofuckup]

Was summer on the last night?

[Kit30]

YANBU. I'm a dog owner and it annoys the hell out of me. Typically when my (admittedly large) dog is on the lead and a small happy one comes bombing over and goes for her face. BTW people a dog on an extending lead isn't under control; its just connected to you and will get carried away 'protecting' you, even though you're 30 feet way. Shout at the owner in a polite way; use please and effusive thank yous. If all else fails carry a water pistol. Squirt it to distract the dog away from your son. Works 9/10.
I suspect all MNs are responsible dog owners so we're all with you on this

[Kit30]

Sorry 'yappy' - autocorrect doesn't know the word, but the yappy dog may be happy too

[JeffVaderneedsatray]

My DD has an ASC and is terrified of dogs. We live near a park and our road is used as a short cut by many people so we encounter lots of dogs.

DD will freeze if she sees a dog. We encounter several types of dog owners.
Tyep one tells me I am being irresponsible allowing my daughter to be afraid of dogs..
Type two allow their dogs to be all bouncy and leapy and laugh indulgently.
Type three see the fear, control their dogs and move by quickly
Type four (of which I currently lnow one) makes their dog sit and wait until we are past. She greets my child, asks her questions and just quietly lets her see not all dogs are leapy bouncy barky things.
Guess which dog no longer makes my DD freeze? In fact she points him out and is better now around bigger dogs than small ones.

OP YANBU. If a dog owner sees a person is afraid they should make their dog come away.

[Kit30]

Thank you, PolterGoose for your comments about big dog owners being politer. Mine has been taught to stop at my side on command, move out of the way for pushchairs and instinctively drops to the ground when another dog approaches her. I don't walk her off lead when there're children about. If someone asks to pet her I get her to drop down as she's then obviously under control. If someone looks at all warily at her I move away/cross the road but always with a friendly hello or thank you. I don't want to intimidate anyone and truthfully she's a bit dopey and a sofa hugger.

[Willow2016]

I agree I think 'summer' knows SFA about asd/adhd and is just on a wind up trip. (or maybe she actually thinks she does know something and is 'telling' all the parents of kids with asd how to parent!.......badly)

[MyWineTime]

I don't know why any dog owners would ever utter the words: "It's ok, he's just being friendly" It's such a pointless thing to say. If a person is happy around dogs, that would be clear to see, if they are showing signs of unease, those words won't help!

Summer's posts are just ignorant. She hasn't got a clue what she is talking about.

[WaitrosePigeon]

As a dog owner I've found the reverse - it is people with big dogs who are less considerate and allow their dogs to terrorise my small dog

Same here. Although I wouldn't like to generalise.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

And Francis - a big dog can fatally harm a small one when playing with it without there being any aggressive intent. It's just a matter of size, unfortunately. I've had big dogs (great dane) and small ones yorkies and westies, and currently have medium-sized ones (spaniels). I've tried never to let my dogs be a nuisance to others, whatever their size.

[HuckleberryQuinn]

Summer - you seem to be being deliberately goady when you ask who would flap, scream and run away when a dog approaches them.

My son who has asd used to do this, he's slightly better now but is still very nervous of a dog runs up to him and his response his unpredictable.

It totally pisses me off that some dog owners think it's acceptable to have their dog off a lead even in places where it categorically says that they should be on a lead.

My son should have been able to attend preschool without becoming hysterical and falling into puddles because some fucker thinks that their dog being 'friendly' and running up to my son will magically cure his fear. I don't give two flying fucks if you say 'oh he's just saying hello' while my son is trying to crawl up my body to get away

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

I think the pp who suggested the use of the word 'phobia' makes a useful point. Because I like dogs, and do understand how their owners feel about them, I usually say ''Oh, DS isn't very keen...' so as to spare their feelings, but there will always be the one in ten who insists on bringing the dog closer, truly believing (bless them) that their pet will be the one to 'cure' DS. 'Phobia' sounds more powerful.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

I've also reported the disablist goady posts.

Most unpleasant. It's not fine to let her ill informed prejudice stand because it's 'educational' to watch people explain yet again that their children have a right to exist and be out in public.

What she says sound like just an 'opinion', but what her opinion means is that disabled teenagers shouldn't be allowed to walk anywhere dogs are, which is, everywhere. She also argues that its up to the parents/ carers to somehow stop behaviors which are inherent to autism, and are not possible to simply stop for the convenience of others.

As the only way to stop the panic and flapping would be to actually tie down that person (who has equal rights to freedom as any other person by the way), or perhaps drug the hell out of them, so what she is 'suggesting' isn't at all ok.

It's attitudes like this that drive disabled people off the streets and out of society.

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

Thank you, Miscellaneous - am hoping she has had a safe return to the eighteenth century where she well and truly belongs.

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

Just popping back on to say - I was out with DDog today and a very fat lab came bounding up to me, rather than Ddog - he obviously spotted or smelled the treats I carry for the dog. He was snappy and unpleasant (and the owner was smiling away, but that's another story).

Anyway, I took out a treat and flung it away from me, and the dog ran off to get the treat, then I walked on quickly with my dog.

I'm an inexperienced dog owner (just got the dog a fortnight ago so am very much learning the ropes) but would this be a good emergency back up for the OP, just keeping a couple of treats in her pocket to distract a persistent dog, then she could grab DS and move away?

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

We live in an area near a lake, open fields, plenty of places to walk dogs. I got fed up with a man recently, who had three dogs with him, not on leads. One of them in particular kept running up to us and had no intention of taking any notice of his commands.

The second time I saw him, he did the same thing and I asked him to put the dog on a lead. His reply was that the dog was allowed to run around. No, sunshine, not on a footpath and not when your dog doesn't respond to you. There are lots of places for dogs to be free. They don't need to be on a footpath or a field with goalposts where kids are playing football. Not to mention the mess.