to expect dog owners to help in this situation

[cansu]

I have a dc with severe autism. He is non verbal and has significant learning disabilities. He walks in a slightly odd way, hand flaps and makes odd noises so he is quite visibly different. He is also scared of certain noises and is frightened of dogs despite my own parents having two lovely little dogs who have never harmed him. Whenever we go out for a walk, he gets v upset by dogs running towards him. I try and put myself in front of them. I make it clear he is scared but dog owners invariably chuckle and tell me oh he is just giddy, no harm in him etc etc, making no effort at all to either call dog over or put hand on dogs collar whilst we pass by. Meanwhile ds is flapping, shouting, running into bushes etc. He is an older teen so not possible to scoop him up if I see a dog coming over. I don't expect dog to be on lead, but would it be unreasonable for a dog owner, once they have twigged situation to call over dog whilst we pass by??

[PageStillNotFound404]

I agree with Redbag, for similar reasons.

The thing is, most dog owners are sensible and responsible and they're the ones you don't notice. It's the thoughtless/ignorant/entitled minority who spoil it not only for non-dog-lovers but for us too, because they give us all a bad name.

YANBU OP. I always think in situations like this, you (as in the dog walker) have a choice between being a thoughtful person making life run just a fraction smoother for someone else at no real inconvenience to yourself, or you can be a selfish arse. Why would you choose to be the selfish arse?

[Motherfuckers]

My dog is a complete dick and won't come back when I call him. Therefore I always keep him on a lead, unless in dog parks. YANBU OP, I hate dog owners that think their dogs are not a nuisance, just because they like them.

[honkinghaddock]

Summerainbow - For someone who claims to have 2 children with asd, you are astonishingly ignorant. Making loud noises and flapping is normal for people with severe autism. It is what people like my son do. My son can't walk down the street He has to use a wheelchair because of the sensory overload. He can't walk in play parks because he can't cope with other children. Parks and woods are the only place he can walk happily yet you try to say people like my son shouldn't be there. You really need to think about your attitude to towards severely disabled people.

[honkinghaddock]

And I don't hold my son's hand when we go out because he can't cope with his hands being touched for long periods.. He has a harness that can be used if he is actually in danger but that won't stop him making loud noises such as shrieking and flapping.

[BastardGoDarkly]

Oh shut up summer you fucking idiot.

Op, YANBU, I recall my dog when I see anyone approaching, then let him go if they have a dog that wants to play, a dog next to you or on the lead, is the default, not bounding along whether people like them or not.

Unfortunately there's entitled knobheads everywhere summer so maybe try Jelly's idea?

[cansu]

Summer you really do spout an awful lot of crap.
1 my ds is nearly 15. He is taller than me, dislikes holding anyone's hand. When we are near roads I hold his arm for the length of time it takes to get him somewhere safe. It is not possible to have him holding my hand everywhere we go. He is also a person who needs to feel some freedom.

1. there are very very few places a person like my son can go outside. He is often stressed by noises and therefore needs to go to peaceful places like parks, woods, beaches etc where he can be himself. It is impossible to completely avoid dogs. They are everywhere.
   

I do not believe you have children with Asd as no one who has lived our life could possibly say or think the way you do. If I am wrong and you are indeed the parent of a child with Asd then you must be an absolute parent of the year! As for who would stand and flap and shout I front of an animal, well that would be quite a lot of severely autistic people actually as flapping is v common as is shouting and verbalising given that some autistic people can't speak, but I guess you should know that being this ace Asd parent though?? Anyway thank you to most people for their supportive comments and I will continue to go out for walks but maybe will be a bit more assertive at asking responsible dog owners to help me a bit which is really all I am asking.

[honkinghaddock]

I've reported and I hope all the posts get deleted because they are disgusting.

[FayKorgasm]

summer you are talking absolute bollocks.
Some dog owners are arseholes who think everyone loves their animal. I always put my dog on a lead and steer him away from other people on his walks because he is not much of a social butterfly.

[Laiste]

t4nut ... people are their friends and they want to say hello ... a dog owner at a distance can't be a mind reader. They don't know what's going on. You're going to have to shout soon as you see them.

I think the vast majority of dog vs people problems stem from this attitude: 'My dog's friendly, i can't know if you have a problem with that'.

It's not rocket science. There's no need to be a mind reader. Assume your dog isn't welcome to ''say hello''. (If anyone's really that desperate to meet your dog they'll ask to). Unless you're in a bloody great empty field keep them close enough to you so that you can see what's going on - that's your responsibility. Use proper recall; call them back to you if they start approaching a stranger and don't let them off the lead at all unless you can do that.

[phillipp]

I am a dog owner and she is like one of my babies. I adore her.

However she isn't allowed to approach anyone. On walks she is allowed off lead until I can see anyone, she is recalled and put on the lead. She is only allowed to greet someone that greets her first.

We have only ever had one problem when we were sat on some grass at an event. Dog on lead. A family sat nearby allowed their young child to wave food at the dog and keep shouting 'here' , eventually the dog tried to go over and got within 6 ft, when the lead length ran out. Which made the child start screaming and the parents being pissed off. I pointed out that if you call a dog and wave food at it, it will come to you and that it was on the lead so couldn't get close. Also they chose to sit very close to us, there was tons of space.

The op of this situation was not at fault at all. And people who own dogs should understand that it doesn't matter how friendly your dog is, it doesn't mean everyone wants it near them. Unfortunately not all of them do.

[tabulahrasa]

"Well socialised dogs will behave like dogs - people are their friends and they want to say hello.

Sorry OP I really understand but a dog owner at a distance can't be a mind reader. They don't know what's going on. You're going to have to shout soon as you see them."

Actually - well socialised dogs do not feel the need to rush up and say hello to everyone, that's pretty much the definition of a badly socialised dog.

Any half decent dog owner wouldn't need to be a mind reader because they'd have socialised their dog properly and would have it under control even while off lead.

Sadly far too many dog owners think it's acceptable not to do those things.

[rockyroad3]

Of course YANBU OP. As a side note, I thought it was a rule that dogs had to be kept on leads in public parks?

[butterfliesandzebras]

Can't believe the responses that imply people should have to shout that someone is autistic or has a phobia so the dog owners know.

The DEFAULT position should be not letting your dog run up to people.

But it's heartening to read so many dog owners on here agree with that, and the entitled oblivious ones are the minority.

[merrymouse]

Dogs should be kept under control when in public.

Whether or not that means wearing a lead depends on the park.

[AppleSetsSail]

Well socialised dogs will behave like dogs - people are their friends and they want to say hello.

When my (friendly, affectionate) dog is at the park she is decidedly not interested in people - she wants to sniff everything and play with other dogs.

[honkinghaddock]

If I shouted out around my autistic son he would start shrieking and slapping himself because he can't cope with shouting.

[MirrorMirrorOnTheFloor]

It's really heartening to hear from all the sensible dog owners - dd2 is terrified of dogs (one leapt on her in her buggy at 2yo, she's now 5) and it looks like we might have to stop going to junior park run purely because there are always loose dogs at the far end of the circuit running into the kids. I haven't said anything as I wondered if maybe there was some sort of right to let your dog off a lead in a park. And because at the time she's climbing up me and crying, and I'm busy reassuring her.

[Wellywife]

I cannot believe some of the comments on here. Summer WTF!! OP you are not being at all U.

DDog is my darling, and is very well behaved but he is still a dog and not totally predictable.

When we go to a recognised dog-walking field he is off lead and comes when called. He generally ignores other people and other dogs too unless they bound up to him.

Anywhere else, like by the canal or in the woods, if he's off lead I walk close to him and watch him like a hawk. If I see anyone approaching I will try to judge the situation - You can generally tell from someone's body language as they approach if they don't like dogs - so I'd put his lead on. Better to be safe than sorry. If your DS looks very upset then I'd tuck him behind me until you'd passed.

That way we can coexist in fields and woods without anybody being told that they need to stay at home.

[AppleSetsSail]

I haven't said anything as I wondered if maybe there was some sort of right to let your dog off a lead in a park

They do have the right unless otherwise sign-posted, but they have to be under their owner's control. Which means good recall.

Realistically there's not a lot that you can do, though - dog laws aren't enforced.

[HKHKHR]

I think you are being totally reasonable. My dog is scared of other dogs after a bad start in life, I just shout 'recall your dog please, mine is scared' and 99% of dog owners do it. I think it's just about having the confidence to request with an authoritative voice, but I understand your mind would be on other things at that moment.