to expect dog owners to help in this situation

[cansu]

I have a dc with severe autism. He is non verbal and has significant learning disabilities. He walks in a slightly odd way, hand flaps and makes odd noises so he is quite visibly different. He is also scared of certain noises and is frightened of dogs despite my own parents having two lovely little dogs who have never harmed him. Whenever we go out for a walk, he gets v upset by dogs running towards him. I try and put myself in front of them. I make it clear he is scared but dog owners invariably chuckle and tell me oh he is just giddy, no harm in him etc etc, making no effort at all to either call dog over or put hand on dogs collar whilst we pass by. Meanwhile ds is flapping, shouting, running into bushes etc. He is an older teen so not possible to scoop him up if I see a dog coming over. I don't expect dog to be on lead, but would it be unreasonable for a dog owner, once they have twigged situation to call over dog whilst we pass by??

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

Well of course yanbu.

If this is something you'd like to tackle with your son, (and I'm not saying you should) have you heard of therapets? Might be worth a Google. Dogs can do a lot for people with autism.

[StarryIllusion]

If you asked I would call them over but not otherwise. Possibly not even then if they are just ignoring you and going about their business because if I ignore you and keep walking past so will they and are unlikely to show the slightest bit of interest in you. If I stop and call them away from you/grab their collar etc when they haven't done anything wrong, I am making you interesting. Everyone with a dog or even a toddler knows that if you try to take something away or keep them away from something it immediately becomes a million times more interesting and they want to investigate. Different if they were actually running up to you of course, I wouldn't allow that but just running along the path and past you, I think YABU.

[Imaginosity]

I have a child with autism. He's scared of some things, not dogs though.

If you're DS is ok with it could you tell the dog owners your child has autism and tell them they need to keep their dog back as he's scared. Maybe it might encourage them to take action if they know this?

[cansu]

I should add I love dogs. We have tried to hwlp him by having family dogs around but they seem unpredictable and therefore worrying to him. My ypunger dd who also has autism loves dogs so it really is just one of his particular challenges. I think hos flappy reaction doesnt help but he has v little understanding and there really is no way of explaining to him. He has in the past tolerated a v old lab that didnt move v much or v slowly. I think it is the fact that yhey move quickly and unpredictably which is yhe the issue.

[RedDogsBeg]

I agree with you OP but I have the opposite problem, I keep my dog on a lead, my dog is wary of strangers, other dogs and even more so of shrieking children that run up to him waving their arms about, if I ask people to control their dogs and/or children they without exception come back with "It's okay they love dogs/my dog is friendly to other dogs" etc. My dog isn't, it's on a lead for a reason, I'm controlling it please have the consideration to do the same.

[RedDogsBeg]

Forgot to add if I saw you and your son there would be no issue as both would avoid each other to the benefit of all of us.

[PitchFork]

yanbu
those dogs are not under close control as is the law and their owners are idiots.

can you take pictures of dog (and handlers) and send it to the dog warden?

[Mybugslife]

Not unreasonable in the slightest. My dog is rarely on a lead in popular dog walking areas (always when on roads etc) but I always always call him back if we are passing anyone, as you never know if a person is frightened, or if their dog is frightened.
If it's clear your DS is afraid then of corse they should recall even if the dog is the nicest dog in the world (my pooch is! Haha)

[eyebrowsonfleek]

Jellybelli That's fabulous advice.

[PinkyOfPie]

YADNBU, as a pp said some people can't see past their own dogs.

I am extremely nervous of dogs, and when they approach me I tell just this to the owner. TBF 3 out of 4 will immediately get their dog back and apologise, which I appreciate, but there's always the odd one who says "oh he's very friendly". It really doesn't make a difference! I think some dog lovers assume everyone is a dog lover! Your poor DS, it's not always easy shouting at strangers to do something about a situation so you have my sympathy

[ipswichwitch]

Francis, no this dog was a cocker spaniel. Nice that these owners have taken a little time to help with DC's fear

[BreconBeBuggered]

Summer must be on the wind-up. Nobody's really as cuntish as all that. Dogs are everywhere; they get walked around housing estates, in town centres, parks, woodland, fields. Loose ones even get into parks where they're not allowed, what with them being unable to read the signs forbidding them entry.

As a dog owner it is absolutely my job to ensure he doesn't harm or annoy others. It's pet ownership 101, in fact.

[t4nut]

Well socialised dogs will behave like dogs - people are their friends and they want to say hello.

Sorry OP I really understand but a dog owner at a distance can't be a mind reader. They don't know what's going on. You're going to have to shout soon as you see them.

[LostQueen]

I'm so perplexed by summers posts. You realise you can encounter dogs on a high street right???

[LostQueen]

Not the same difficulty you face with your son OP but I'm petrified of dogs (awful childhood experience) and it drives me up the wall when this dog owning couple on my estate let their huge dogs that probably fit into the dangerous dogs category and shouldn't be cooped up in tiny fucking council flats imho bound all over the place with no leads and no intention of recalling them, especially when I have DD with me. They get all huffy if you say anything moaning "they're not gonna hurt you". That's not the point and given that my mother was attacked and bitten by a similar breed dog on said estate after being cooped up in a tiny fucking council flat all day, there's no guarantee of that either as far as I'm concerned.

[zolalola]

summerrainbow really??

[starchildareyoulistening]

I'm sorry that there are so many shit dog owners in your area! You'd hope the majority at least would keep their dogs under control. I pass quite a lot of other dog walkers on the route I take with my two, and I can only think of one who lets her dog gallop around out of control and trample on my poor little chihuahua . I was terrified of dogs as a small child and although I now work with them and will cheerfully handle aggressive ones, I do remember how scary they were to me and I really feel for people who have a phobia of them.

Are you confident with dogs yourself? Just thinking if I was with someone who was scared of dogs and one was approaching without its owner's control I would probably grab the dog by the collar and return it to the owner myself, but I realise this might not be an option in your situation.

[OhThatThingAgain]

YANBU

My previous NDN had an autistic son (early 20s age). He was pretty much non verbal and terrified of dogs. When we took our dogs out for a walk, if he was in the front garden we'd warn his mum we were coming out with the dogs (on leads).

It's only good manners isn't it, poor lad was terrified. His parents were not the best and sometimes left him locked out and he'd knock on our door as he had no keys (not trusted alone).

I'd say hang on the porch for a moment and I'll lock the dogs out. PITA for me but hey, the boy was scared.

People need to control their dogs, no matter what. Autism doesn't even come into this. They are rude! I can not understand why some dog owners think everyone loves dogs?

[Willow2016]

Summer
Do you ever take your kids anywhere?
There isnt anywhere in the country that is guarenteed dog free, what a stupid post.
You expect her teenager to walk everywhere holding her hand? You do actually realise that a dog can run up to you whether you are holding someones hand or not, its not a magic talisman to ward of manic dogs! What are you on?

There should be no reason to do this if dog owners had control of their dogs off leads. There should be no instances of a dog running up to anyone and jumping up/licking them/knocking them over while the owner bleats on about how 'soft'/'friendly' they are.

OP's son is quite 'safe' (wtaf?) walking with his mum, he just doesnt want some bloody dog running up and jumping all over him.

I love dogs (have had 2 myself) but dont want some random dog rushing up to me and 'befriending me' getting mud on me etc. And I certainly wont be keeping my kids indoor so that the general dog owner populace can walk about with impunity!

Put your hand up and see where you are about will you?

[Tomselleckhaskindeyes]

Yanbu it's about being considerate and having empathy. Life would be so much nicer if people would just think. Anyway OP keep up the good work you sound like a lovely mum just what your son needs.

[DropYourSword]

Summer

Op - I'm regularly astonished at the amount of disgust and vitriol levelled towards dogs on MN. BUT, dogs owners should not allow their dogs to run up and approach other people, especially children, regardless of SN. And I say that as a dog lover and owner.