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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving someone stranded at 1am at night

449 replies

dranaksjd · 30/08/2016 15:32

Honest opinions wanted here.

Here's the scenario. My friend (she's 26) foudn herself having to return home much later than she expected. This meant she had to get the last train home from Birmingham city centre.

There was a mix up on the departure board which meant she got on the wrong train and ended up in a tiny train station in a village quite far from any major city.

She was clearly distressed as she got off the train and a couple overheard her conversation to her friend. She explain she had only £10
On her, no bank card on her and no idea where she was and no charge on her phone to call anyone to see if they could pick her up.

The couple said they would take her to the main train station in the nearest city which was 10 minutes drive away.

So she got in the car. They dropped her off at that train station at 1am.

She then found a pub willing to let her charge her phone and then when the pub closed she returned to the train station at 2 am. It was at 4am before she realised she could do an emergency transaction using her natwest online banking app.
She comes across as someone who would be comfortably well off so I'm guessing the couple thought she had money but she had explained she did not have her card on her.

She then paid a lot of money for a taxi home.

Now obviously it was nice of the couple to give her a lift the the main train station, but it didn't actually help her much. And they left her at 1am with no cash on her, outside a train station which was boarded up and closed.

That doesn't sit well with me and isn't something I would do. Or am I being unreasonable? Obviously it was unwise of her to travel back at that time but she was not expecting that morning when she left the house to be travelling at that time.

Honest opinions wanted here. And I'm genuinely not the person this post is about.

Just genuinely interested in what others opinion is.

OP posts:
pauldacreshairlessnutsack · 30/08/2016 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thinkingthingsover · 30/08/2016 15:50

Had she been drinking? If she was evidently incapable, then perhaps the couple might have tried leaving her in a place of greater safety (a police station?). But if she was in control, and accepted the suggestion of a major train station, I don't think they did anything wrong - indeed, they went out of their way at some cost to them, by driving her into a city late at night in order for her not to be stranded at a out-of-the-way spot. Presumably they'd got off the last train and were anticipating a short journey to their homes and getting into bed.
I think spending a marooned night at a city railway station isn't that risky or weird. It's a fairly sensible choice, many of us have done it when we were young, missed last buses etc. There'll be people around, a security presence, and even if the station buildings are closed overnight, they'll open very early and you can get home as soon as rail services get under way. (Incidentally when I ended up on the wrong train late at night I realised before I got off, and enlisted the help of the train conductor who helped me with a connection. I'm not sure why your friend got off in a tiny village - few rail services terminate in such places).
It sounds like an uncomfortable experience, but not a crisis. She was lucky to find the helpful couple, and practical enough to get her phone charged, stay at the station, work out finance. In the future she'll have learnt to be more cautious about travelling with only minimal cash, drinking - if that was a factor - and checking trains, making contingency plans etc. It seems to have worked out ok and YABU to put blame upon this couple.

JohnHunter · 30/08/2016 15:51

This is why so many people wouldn't help a stranger these days. Taking someone to a major train station was a sensible thing to do - if the journey home eventually cost a lot in the taxi, were you really expecting them to drive her all the way? Perhaps they should have just called her a taxi and left it at that.

Original poster
dranaksjd · 30/08/2016 15:51

Ah I never knew that was a well
Known scam. The couple did believe her though. She was clearly genuinely distressed. It's a horrible situation to be in.

I would have been tempted to
wait until 6am but she said there were loads of drunk people there and a guy kept returning to the opposite side in the road and just staring at her so she got a taxi as it just wasn't safe to stay there until 6.

OP posts:
StillMaidOfStars · 30/08/2016 15:51

If you plan to leave at 5pm then you're not that likely to have a spare £100 in your bag for emergencies
Sure. But I suspect most people travelling more than walking distance have contingencies. Like taking a bank card.

FlyingElbows · 30/08/2016 15:51

So she got off the train, they overheard her having a conversation with a friend? So... where did the friend go assuming she wasn't on the phone as it had no charge to call anyone?

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 30/08/2016 15:51

She's a grown woman. If she's silly enough to forget her card, not realise about bank transfer and charge her phone enough to make a call(5 mins) or call a cab to take he home then perhaps she should stay home

How is the couple in anyway responsible for this woman child?

JenLindleyShitMom · 30/08/2016 15:51

If she had no card what use was the online transfer?

BeautifulMaudOHara · 30/08/2016 15:51

YABU, they were kind, she's an adult. Have only read OP.

JessieMcJessie · 30/08/2016 15:52

"A tiny train station in a village quite far from a major city"

"The main train station in the nearest city which was 10 mins' drive away"

Which one was it then?

And what was this Nat West emergency transaction? A way to pay a taxi, or get cash or something else?

Very odd to have no cards at all on her- regardless of whether or not she thought she would be travelling alone late at night- why would any adult go out with no cash and no cards?

FeckinCrutches · 30/08/2016 15:53

But OP what exactly did you want the couple to do??

Ifailed · 30/08/2016 15:53

Unless your friend has some sort of disability, why on earth wouldn't you expect a 26 year old to fend for themselves for a few hours? The lift lasted 10 minutes so she was already close to a major city, not in the middle of nowhere; she had a tenner so could have caught a bus once they started running, and could easily have found a phone box to call someone.

All sounds very odd, to be honest.

tofutti · 30/08/2016 15:53

She then paid a lot of money for a taxi home.

Of course. She has to suck up the cost. Who should have paid the taxi fee...the couple? Confused

What would you have done if you were one of the couple? Taken her all the way home?

bloodyteenagers · 30/08/2016 15:53

What should the couple have done?

Lent her money for a cab?

At the most I would have given her a lift to the nearest station. There is no way on hell would I have driven her any further, taken her home with me, and I sure as hell would not have given her any money.

Five hours later leaving somewhere is a huge screw up on her part. And you don't forget for a few hours that you can do the emergency transfer thing. Nor do you sit for a lemon for a few hours before thinking, oh yea, a cab.

Original poster
dranaksjd · 30/08/2016 15:53

It's a really rough area. It is a city but not a big city like Manchester or Birmingham. It wouldn't have been as bad if that was the case. But the station was fully boarded up so there was only the outside wall to sit on.

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 30/08/2016 15:54

But the story doesn't make sense - she had enough charge on her phone to call her friend to tell her that she didn't have enough charge on her phone to call anyone to pick her up?

The couple did more than many would. Your friend, on the other hand, sounds as if she needs an emergency injection of common sense.

VioletBam · 30/08/2016 15:54

"She didn't think" quite a lot!

This will be a lesson to her. You need your head screwed on at all times but especially when travelling alone.

KatieHopkinsAteMyHamster99 · 30/08/2016 15:55

Surely the take home message from this story is always to have means of payment with you in case of emergency, (as a 26 year old adult) rather than having to fall back on a Good Samaritan.

Original poster
dranaksjd · 30/08/2016 15:55

I would have definetly driven her home. I would drive about an hour in this circumstance and have done so before for a foreign student I met a few years ago stranded at an airport.

I probably wouldn't if I were a group of people but honestly, I wouldn't have left a young woman stranded at 1am.

OP posts:
RortyCrankle · 30/08/2016 15:56

She's 26, not 6. They did her a favour - not sure what else you expected them to do. I don't understand how, if they dropped her off at 1am, she happened to find a pub open until 2am. Somewhat outside their opening hours isn't it?

Original poster
dranaksjd · 30/08/2016 15:56

She explained to her friend her battery would soon die as she had only a small percentage.

OP posts:
Unicornsarelovely · 30/08/2016 15:57

There is an incredibly common scam where someone is stranded and really needs to borrow money for a cab which of course they'll pay back straight away....

The couple were both helpful and sensible. They gave what they could afford in terms of time and money. While it's a shame your friend wasn't okay as s result, that's her problem, not there's.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 30/08/2016 15:57

She's probably so useless because people always sweep in and pander to her so she didn't have to deal with things

StorminaBcup · 30/08/2016 15:57

I don't understand this. If she had money in her account but her bank card was at home, then why not just get a taxi home in the first place and withdraw the cash to pay for the taxi when you get home?

Original poster
dranaksjd · 30/08/2016 15:57

It was a nightclub/bar. It's a true story so I'm afraid you will not be able to catch me Out with perceived inconsistencies.

OP posts: