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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be counting the days when my dd goes back to school?

23 replies

Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 14:31

Is it just me or am I being unreasonable in thinking that summer holidays are a struggle of mega proportions?
This year has been the hardest yet! Maybe it's because she's older and knows her own mind more than she ever did before? But when I stop and calculate the small fortune I've spent on various summer clubs to break up the colossal expanse of time that 6 weeks is and still it has not been enough to keep my 6 year old satisfied it makes me wonder how I will cope for future summers!

We wake up and the first thing she asks is "what are we doing today?" And the last thing she says before bed is "what are we doing tomorrow?". Hearing those words brings on anxiety attacks if I haven't organised anything for that day and yet I still have a job to do (I am self employed and work from home). I have had to put so much on hold as it's just not been possible to get work done as well as keep her entertained except on those precious days she has been to a club.
Have I made a rod for my own back by organising stuff to do? There are days when I literally can't put off a job and we have had to stay home and she's been with me and I swear to god by the end of the day it's a miracle I haven't jumped out of the window to escape her constant demands! I was led to believe that the hard years were the first couple not the ones after 5. I just can't begin to tell you all how relieved I am that she's going back next week. I feel like the worlds worst mum because I love her tons but just not 24/7! Is anyone out there feeling the same?

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 30/08/2016 14:34

It's not really fair to be working whilst you six year old is awake.

Original poster
Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 14:40

@nowitsseven...is that a joke? Should i stay up all night and work while she's asleep then still be awake the rest of the day for her? Not sure what u mean?!!!

OP posts:
manyathingyouknow · 30/08/2016 14:40

andnow whaaaaaaat??

elderberryflower · 30/08/2016 14:44

Working and looking after a child at the same time is always going to be a struggle. Can you arrange proper childcare or work less hours over the holidays?

CedricSydneySneer · 30/08/2016 14:45

I don't think you're alone in feeling like this.

I will admit I'm rather unusual in that I love it when mine is off school. It's a break from the school run, homework, reading books and so on.

It can be hard to keep them entertained though.

crossroads3 · 30/08/2016 14:45

Of course it's fair - what is Justbecause supposed to do - not pay the bills?

Does your dd not like duvet / DVD type days sometimes Justbecause?

crossroads3 · 30/08/2016 14:46

(My first comment was to andnow).

youarenotkiddingme · 30/08/2016 14:48

It's not unreasonable to expect a 6yo to entertain themselves for periods of time. You've used clubs so I assume you've worked during that time? Perhaps other days you could explain she needs to play between X and y time and then you'll do a trip to park/beach/swimming and then when you return she has to watch a dvd whilst you work?

Will she be old enough to play outside next year for periods of time? (I get this is dependent on where you live!) that may make things easier!

Original poster
Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 14:49

I have cut down on my hours a lot! And now that I have experienced this year's dilemma I will look into proper childcare for next summer but I just wondered if anyone else was feeling the weight of having kids around for so long? Obviously I'm a minority.

OP posts:
Eolian · 30/08/2016 14:57

They shouldn't have to be taken on outings all the time. Mine are older (11 and 8) but they've never been to a holiday club in their lives and we certainly don't do constant outings in the school holidays. Neither dh or I go to work in the holidays but we do have stuff to do. The dc entertain themselves quite a bit and have done since they were quite little. It's harder when they are younger, but it's good to get them 'in training ' for independent play as much as possible.

SleepFreeZone · 30/08/2016 15:00

I feel you OP 😁😁😁

Original poster
Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 15:04

Crossroads - we must've sent it at the same time!
Lots of duvet days, lots of DVDs and lots of suggesting what she can do on her own and even moments when I let her get bored to the point when she eventually finds something to do. But the main point of my thread was if any one else had struggled these last 6 weeks? Admittedly it is nice to have a break from the school run etc but I'm going to be skipping the first day back!

OP posts:
witsender · 30/08/2016 15:07

We home ed. Looking forward to next week for totally different reasons...quiet beaches etc!

Tbh, working from home with a 6 yr old around is always going to be hard.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/08/2016 15:09

@nowitsseven...is that a joke? Should i stay up all night and work while she's asleep then still be awake the rest of the day for her? Not sure what u mean?!!!

That's what I'm doing. I'm up till 2-3am most nights working (kids in bed asleep at about 10pm).

brastraps · 30/08/2016 15:14

It sounds like you've really struggled to juggle caring for your child with work and I am not at all surprised.

I imagine her asking what you're doing is her trying to nail you down so she gets you to herself rather than you expecting her to entertain herself while you work.

I don't know how many hours you work, but did you really expect to be able to do so with your DD on school holidays for 6 weeks?

SoHereItIs2016 · 30/08/2016 15:18

Hi OP

I also have the ability to WFH ( I have client contacts but there are largely organised by Myself and all admin can be done at home).

However, I have learnt the very hard way that whilst it should be possible to do a. Reasonable amount of work with two older children at home, the stress it induces isn't worth it.

I have had two and half weeks off work this summer, have worked two short days from home with the kids which were absolute hell, and the rest of the time they have gone to clubs etc.

The thing is young kids just don't understand the concept of work,the level of focus and the hours needed to get it all done. Yes they an amuse themselves for short periods but at five They are going to be looking to you for company, play etc.

So next year I would definitely recommend clubs for your DC when you are working!

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 30/08/2016 15:21

Mine are teenagers now and so entertain themselves but I used to struggle with 6 weeks of holiday when they were younger and I wasn't working. Endlessly thinking up things to do with young children was tedious and boring so I am totally with you. Despite the school run and homework I loved it when they went back to school, it was good to get some external structure (that wasn't dependent on me) back in their lives. I do adore my kids though and we had some great summers - just wouldn't want to do it all again.

Original poster
Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 15:32

@hecantbeserious - believe me I have been up many a time until 2am. That's the latest I can manage before I flake out especially when dd has been known to wake at 6am.

The fact is that I'm a freelancer so if I don't do the jobs asked I won't get asked again and that's loss of earnings. And to be honest I've always managed before but dd was easier to care for. Perhaps it has to do with starting school last year so she expects to do more all the time? She was much better at playing on her own and finding things to do before then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 15:37

Thanks for understanding @sohereitis and onmorecup! Now I don't feel like a complete disorganised mum from hell Grin

OP posts:
Boogers · 30/08/2016 15:46

Justbecause I'm in the same place as you and I'm literally counting down the sleeps until DD goes back to school. Ignore the bonkers posts advocating not leaving your daughter's side whilst she is awake for the entire duration of the holidays. You have to work. It's not unreasonable to stick on a DVD or let her amuse herself in the garden. You're not a neglectful parent in doing that, and she's hardly gone without over the holidays.

ollieplimsoles · 30/08/2016 15:47

I work from home with a ten month old op, I tried to be a mummy martyr and look after her all day then work all night, it was a total nightmare and I couldn't do it for long. What kind of work is it? I'm an illustrator and I just had to cut down til I got some proper childcare in place. Its tough when you have deadlines and a demanding six year old in tow.

Don't feel guilty Flowers

Original poster
Justbecauseitsso · 30/08/2016 15:56

@ Ollie - I'm an artist too Smile - and it's true what you say but at the same time I love what I do and I would hate to lose work as I've managed to finally get some pretty good commissions but only because I have to always say yes!

@boogers - Flowers thanks for being so right!

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 30/08/2016 15:56

I can't imagine trying to work from home and take care of little ones. Sounds a nightmare to me, they just don't let you think!

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