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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to a restaurant for Christmas dinner?

87 replies

PinkyOfPie · 29/08/2016 11:21

I'll be almost 9 months pregnant on Christmas Day. We haven't committed to having people over this year but we did always say as we are in a new house we want to have Xmas day at ours. However I really couldn't be arsed cooking a full Christmas dinner when I'm gonna be the size of a house (I was enormous with DD and already huge with this one at 5 months). DH's cooking skills are limited to omelette and beans on toast, everything else he burns or ruins!

We thought about going to family's but TBH I want to be somewhere I can be fat lay down and make myself comfortable if I need to, I'm not a very good house guest at the best of times.

DH has suggested going for a meal just us 2 and DD. A local pub is doing a 3-course meal for £40 per adult £15 per child. Steep but we spend a lot on food for the day anyway.

I think I'd feel bad though, I did waitressing in my student days and always felt sorry for the staff who had to work for a pittance on Xmas day. I also think it might look unsociable to family Confused then again to have no food to make or mess to clean sounds like heaven Grin is it the 'done thing' with anybody?

OP posts:
Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 29/08/2016 12:47

Backforgood my family has been eating out on Christmas Day since 1985. How is it either new or selfish?? We pay whatever the restaurant charges for the food plus tip generously, and quite obviously we don't go to restaurants that have decided not to open!

DiegeticMuch · 29/08/2016 12:48

If you feel guilty about the staff (and you shouldn't, they're not forced) you should tip well.

No one in their right mind will be disappointed if you don't host, in your condition.

All this is assuming that your DC will sit sensibly through it. There will definitely be complaints from other customers if not.

KeyserSophie · 29/08/2016 12:55

We used to FIGHT over the Christmas shifts when I was a student and waitressing- they were triple time. I also know (and knew) a lot of people for who Christmas is not that big a deal, or they actually like doing a few hours to break the day up, so they don't mind working

That said, I'd probably fob the family off (just say you don't know what the situation will be so you'll just have a quiet one with the 3 of you) and take a pass on the whole thing- get some nice buffet style food and veg out. If you pay and then can't go, that will be really annoying.

Rachel0Greep · 29/08/2016 12:57

As others have said I would be inclined to go for the likes of M&S food, and have it in comfort at home, just the three of you. Plus baby if he / she puts in an early appeareance.

bikerlou · 29/08/2016 12:59

Why are you even thinking about what other people want at 9 months pregnant? I'd be saying Xmas isn't happening this year folks!!

I would definitely just eat out with your immediate family and go home, to hell with everyone else and to hell with the pub staff. At 9 months pregnant the only thing that matters is you and your baby.

trafalgargal · 29/08/2016 13:01

Some locals pubs have always opened for a few hours on Christmas Day I don't think it's a new thing at all.

OP do you have to invite anyone on Christmas Day ? Why not have a couple Christmas Day with M&S everything prepared and you just let him bung it in (under supervision if needed)

ilovesooty · 29/08/2016 13:01

My family went out for Christmas lunch decades ago when I was a child.

I almost always eat out on Christmas day and I see absolutely no reason why I shouldn't.

fatowl · 29/08/2016 13:05

Don't feel bad for the staff, my DD21 worked Christmas Day 11-5pm , Boxing Day evening and New Years Day last year- she enjoyed it, everyone was in a good mood, tipped well etc, and like someone up thread said, she got time and a half.
She funded her flight to the USA this summer from her shifts at the end of Dec .

Joolsy · 29/08/2016 13:07

I don't think a roast dinner for 3 is particularly hard to make, even from scratch. It's not like you'd be cooking for loads of people. I'd rather stay at home and be lazy and maybe go out for a walk later

daisypond · 29/08/2016 13:10

Slightly off topic - loads of people work Christmas day and other bank holidays. I'm not in a medical or caring job and I have to work these days. It's just a normal day and if you're rostered to work it, you have to - there's no double time, overtime or extra payment at all. If waiting staff get extra money for working, you'll be doing them a favour.

But back on topic, I'd go with the M&S meal idea if you think you want to lounge around at home.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/08/2016 13:14

The Xmas after dh died I ensure to do something diff so went to hotel for Xmas dinner with my parents and brother

Was a nice meal and we tipped the staff well

Cost worked out the same tbh and no prepping cooking or clearing up was fantastic

Def treat yourself tho if you do go into labour you will lose the money plus who is on childcare duty

trafalgargal · 29/08/2016 13:21

Many non essential jobs that operate Christmas Day still pay double time as hey know if they don't too many staff will simply not turn up. I tend to volunteer to work Christmas morning for a few hours . OH is more than happy to cook and is always off as his company shuts down for the holiday period.

I did a few years in F&B about 12 years ago. I was never offered less than double time for Christmas Day .....time and a half is pretty mean.

OlennasWimple · 29/08/2016 13:23

I've been disappointed with meals out on Christmas Day (let's face it, no one is going to do the exact range of side dishes that you want to have), but understand the low stress appeal.

Alternatively, M&S and Waitrose do great dishes that you literally just stick in the oven - would DH be able to manage that, with a bit of assistance? I'd be worried about going into labour and having to finish my meal rather than be at home and able to do whatever necessary to get comfortable

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 29/08/2016 13:24

We've done this and it was great. No dishes, no hassle,no problems. My niece was a waitress at the time and she loved working Christmas Day because she got great tips and a big party afterwards.

One Christmas after a very distressing year , we decided to ditch the traditional dinner and let the kids decide what we would have. They chose fish and chips and ice cream, so we had that and it was the best Christmas dinner we ever had, much more relaxed than normal. The next year they chose homemade pizza and that was also lovely. Last year was the first time in 10 years they chose turkey and even then they didn't want mountains of food so it was easy to prepare. If I was very ill (as I was the first time) MrZippy could manage to cook since it was all fairly simple.

Do whatever you think will be easiest, what's the worst that could happen?

OlennasWimple · 29/08/2016 13:24

Sorry, the delay in writing and posting this has led to a bit of a x-post....

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 29/08/2016 13:30

YANBU. Dneice worked Xmas day waitressing and made nearly £200 in 8 hours. Conversely, DW worked 12 as a nurse and only made about £25 more.

Brought home about 50 mince pies though :)

Theimpossiblegirl · 29/08/2016 13:44

If the food at the pub is usually nice then book it. Then stock up on nice nibbles for the evening/boxing day.

I would also ask them if they will do take-away if the baby decides to make an early appearance.

celeryisnotasuperfood · 29/08/2016 13:45

We do this every year at our favourite gastro pub. It's brilliant - they do good food, atmosphere is great and the serving staff always appear happy. If other families tip the way we do for Christmas then I suspect its a very good day for wages and tips!

diddl · 29/08/2016 13:50

How come your husband can't cook?

How did you learn to cook a Christmas lunch?

Our first Christmas at our house, neither of us had cooked a Christmas lunch before, but we managed.

Writing timings down was the key!

Although I'm sure that our lunch is quite basic compared to what a lot have, but we're happy with that to not be spending too much time in the kitchen!

eightbluebirds · 29/08/2016 13:52

Just do it. Lovely food, no dishes, and have a nap when you get home!

Original poster
PinkyOfPie · 29/08/2016 15:01

Thanks all!

I am worried that I may have baby early, I'll only be a couple of weeks off my due date but DD was early.

We would, of course, tip well, we usually go for 10%, or if it's been exceptional service 15% so will probs do 15-20% seeing as its Christmas!

The pub is a nice country pub we've eaten there before. Think I might book but also buy M&S or Waitroae ready stuff in case plans change.

Chew this may sound selfish but as its our last Christmas as a family of 3 we really wanted to just spend it the 3 of us and give DD all our attention, so we've resigned to whatever we do we'll do just is 3. No one will be stranded on the day in either family!

Plus our families are both absolutely bonkers and a cup of tea with them requires a lie down afterwards ConfusedGrin

OP posts:
Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 29/08/2016 15:02

YANBU book the restaurant.

Original poster
PinkyOfPie · 29/08/2016 15:05

diddl I think I learnt from reading instructions, it's just a roast really innit.

Don't know what the deal is with DH, probably because he was in the army straight from school so was fed every night and only ever had to make pot noodles til his mid 20s. It's like something doesn't compute when he cooks - he could probably roast a chicken no problem but when it comes to having more than one thing ready at once he falls apart!

Our deal is I cook (I'm not fantastic at it but I'm not shit either) and he does all the dishes, general cleaning and ironing. Think I've got the better end of the deal TBH!

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkyOfPie · 29/08/2016 15:06

It's a £10pp deposit and rest paid on the day so wouldn't be a massive loss!

OP posts:
Spiderpigspiderpig · 29/08/2016 15:17

Just eat beans in toast for christmas dinner and slob in phs in house all day

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