Ds and my ex H abroad

[flissfloss65]

In the past year my ex H has taken our ds, just turned 16, over to Europe for a night. Each time he has left ds about midnight alone in the city centre while he goes back to the hotel. Ds thinks its odd, would rather his dad stayed out but would rather stay out that go back given choice. When I go away with ds we go back to hotel at an agreed time between us.

I realise he is now 16 but I find ex's behaviour weird. My main worry is ds has never been to either city before and was drinking beer alone. If he had a friend there then fine.

AIBU to find this an unnecessary risk, especially as ds phone is not international.

Yes, I agree, odd. Mind you, if your Son was frightened he wouldn't stay out I suppose, does his Dad insist he stays out or something? Is your Ex going somewhere else other than the hotel I wonder.

Going back to your hotel at midnight is perfectly normal. Your 16 year old on the other hand is behaving completely stupidly. I'd be bollocking him for that. Does he stay out beyond midnight drinking in town at home?

Midnight is late enough for a 16 year old to go back to the hotel with his Dad. It's hardly early is it?

I'd make sure my 16yr old DS came back with me.

It's your ds behaviour which is odd

It's perfectly legal in some European countries for 16 year olds to drink.

That's the thing. Ds would go back with his dad and never argues over the times we ask him to be home. But his dad says I' m off back to the hotel but you can stay out another hour, so ds does.

Just think ex H should say we are both going back and ds would go with him.

Not at all odd for DS to want to take advantage of his DF's unwillingness to actually parent.
16 is too young to leave your DS out alone and presumably a bit drunk in a foreign city.
DF presumably doesn't want to be the bad guy aka act like a father and tell him he needs to come back as well.
YANBU - I'd be seriously unimpressed by this.

You're ok with your 16yo being in a different country drinking?. Ok.

Tell your exH to stop leaving a child alone in an unknown city, expect ally after midnight.

A stupid Y chromosome thing going on there IMHO... They need their heads knocking together... #asbadaseachother

Wonder if your son said, no, it's ok dad, I'll come back with you now, what dads reaction would be. Could he be trying to teach him independence. I can understand your worry though. Do they end up spending two lots of taxi fares.

I don't mind ds having a small beer or two as he is sensible. I think most dc would stay out given a chance. I just don't understand why his df does this. I think ex h should just say lets go back and I know ds would but being a teenager and given the opportunity he stays out.

Yeah I disagree most teenagers would too. If they're with their mates at home then absolutely yes of course they'd take advantage, but I don't think it's 'normal' that a teen actively wants to stay on their own in a foreign city at midnight.