Child care/ house work split.

[Babydontcry]

I'm currently on maternity leave, my DS is nearly 8 weeks old. I usually work full time as does DP. I'm just wondering what others experience of splitting house work/ childcare is under similar circumstances.

Currently I do all of the cleaning, cooking, washing up and laundry for us all. DP spends time with our son between 10 at night and anywhere between 11.30 and 1am to allow me to get some sleep. The time depends on when DP chooses to come to bed as he has always been a night owl. One night a week I stay at my DM's so he doesn't do this. Does this seem reasonable?

The back story to this is I for the first time asked DP to have DS so I could have a couple of hours sleep after a bad night today, which he did. My DM later contacted me and asked of I wanted to visit tomorrow as DP had commented he may do a social activity tomorrow. When I asked DP about this he stated that he wasn't but I could still go out as it would give me aneasier day as my parents are more willing to spend time with DS. When I asked about this comment He stated that if he is watching DS he gets nothing done! I was also upset about a comment he made the previous day about a weekend away we have coming up with my family. When he commented about getting an extra two days off work I suggested we leave a little early so we could get DS settled and if need be make some stops on the way without arriving too late in the evening. He responded that I was already planning his time off, he winked to make a joke of it but he sounded very sarcastic. If I'm honest I'm also concerned when I go back to work there still will be the expectation that I do everything in the house and with DS

I Am a first time poster so please be kind- apologies if this is all a bit waffley!

The split was pretty one-sided with us, but not in the way most people think. I had PND which meant DH ended up doing far more than most.

I did most of the childcare because I was on maternity leave, but just about everything else fell to DH. On top of working full time, he cooked, cleaned and took over childcare duties when he got home. There were many days when I was too ill to be left alone with DS and so he had to look after a small baby as well as a depressed near suicidal wife.

He never once complained. Not even jokingly. He simply says that it was what any decent husband and father would do and that working full time doesn't absolve a person from taking on a decent share of the housework/cooking etc.

That was two years ago and the split is far more equal now. Sometimes he will do more and sometimes I do more. At the end of the day you have to feel happy with whatever is agreed, otherwise you just end up resenting the other person.

although nothing gets done when I'm not in the house

So when you are away, he doesn't even do the work to look after himself?

He leaves it for his housekeeper to do on her return?

Do you think he got you pregnant so that he could get himself a full time skivvy?

Is he a child?

Why doesn't he look after himself like a grown up?