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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there is probably no recovering from this?

104 replies

HeyNannyNanny · 28/08/2016 12:26

Just moved into a new flat share, a week ago.
I work FT and am typically reasonably shy so haven't met any of the new flat mates yet.
DP is not working at the moment so has spent almost all of his time in the new flat, so subsequently has spent a lot of time here.

Late this morning we were having a play fight* in our bedroom which was basically me stealing all of his underwear so he couldn't have a shower. This culminated in me wearing 15 pairs of boxer shorts over the top of my PJs and about three pairs on my head, so that he couldn't grab them out of my hands. We were both in stitches because we're both secretly children (both actually in our late 20s) and found this very very funny.

DP opens our bedroom door into the corridor to escape to the bathroom, gleefully holding a pair of rescued boxers out of my grasp. Both of us are giggling like mad.

This, of course, is the perfect moment for two of our flatmates to be in the adjoining kitchen, enjoying a leisurely cup of tea.

I met my flatmates for the first time adorned with 18 pairs of men's boxers, some of which on my head.

AIBU to think that I'll probably never live that down in this house? And that perhaps emigrating should be in my near future? Blush Blush

*its important to note that this was very very quiet and we also live next to a helipad and next door are having some kind of party so we weren't disturbing anyone with the giggling.

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 28/08/2016 13:46

Did you move into the flat or did you two move into the flat? I wouldn't care about the boxers, but if my new flatmate had let her non-rent-paying boyfriend stay over before I'd even met her I would be bracing myself for trouble...

Blackberryandapplejam · 28/08/2016 13:55

I'm guessing this isn't so much a flat share as an HMO.

Queenbean · 28/08/2016 13:58

It just a "rent a room in a house" rather than "everyone jointly sign the lease" type set up isn't it?

AntiHop · 28/08/2016 14:01

When I was younger I looked at house shares where you didn't meet the other occupants as they were all separate leases. Some landlords might prefer it as you have more control as a landlord that way.

Original poster
HeyNannyNanny · 28/08/2016 14:13

The tenancy is in both our names. Smile

OP posts:
LauderSyme · 28/08/2016 14:21

"Housing crisis" is not just an abstract concept!

Tabsicle · 28/08/2016 14:22

I think maybe it's a London thing? That kind of set up sounds very normal to me, OP, and I've lived in those places. You rent a room, you don't have joint financial responsibility with the other tenants or a joint lease, you just share a kitchen.

I lived in a similar set up in Oxford for a year and I never did know housemates names.

dudsville · 28/08/2016 14:24

So, (yes I'm also preoccupied without this flat share) do your bedroom doors individually lock? If there was a fire how would you know who was in and who was out?

I've never shared accommodation with anyone I wasn't related to or dating so I'm always curious about different styles of arrangements.

Anyway, you two OP sound like a 20 year younger version of me and my OP!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 28/08/2016 14:24

You shared a kitchen for a year and you didn't know your fellow housemates names?

manicinsomniac · 28/08/2016 14:26

Haha - I think, in your 20s, you can get away with this as a funny icebreaker. No need to move out.

I think big anonymous house shares are quite common. The worst one I've seen was in Nottingham. I was helping my sister flat hunt and one we looked at was exclusively for females under 25. We assumed that was because the current tenants were young girls and wanted a flatmate to match. Turned out to be a huge house of anonymous ensuite rooms and corridors with a kitchen that looked just like a hall of residence in a university. We were shown round by a lady in her late 50s/early 60s who then said 'my husband really oversees the house. He's just sorting out one of the girls upstairs. Everyone gets really well cared for here'! Might have been totally innocent but we didn't stick around to find out!

Flum · 28/08/2016 14:40

I am also very nosy about this set up. What kind of rent do you pay for that. I guess it is more like a bedsit really.

Zippidydoodah · 28/08/2016 14:40

I'm presuming he wasn't in the buff on his way to the bathroom with pants in his hand?! Grin

alltouchedout · 28/08/2016 14:44

If I was one of your flatmates I would hurt myself laughing and I would feel the need to get boxer shorts into every conservation I ever had with you in the future.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/08/2016 14:49

Fucking hell some people are just determined to find fault in everything. It's a pain in the ass. Ignore them op, they obviously have nothing better to do on a Sunday than try and find something to fight about.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 28/08/2016 14:57

Your flat mates might think you are one of those Ker-azy off the wall couples that are always doubled up with an 'in' coupley joke.

Maybe aim to act more normal on your next meeting.

PageStillNotFound404 · 28/08/2016 15:05

I'm not sure emigration is taking the situation seriously enough, OP. Is there a space colony programme you could volunteer for?

Either that or style it out by never appearing without many pairs of boxer shorts on your head and replying to any bemused enquirers with a blank stare and "what boxer shorts?"

acasualobserver · 28/08/2016 15:10

At least you weren't naked and he wasn't chasing you with a rotary whisk.

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 28/08/2016 15:17

If this is a registered HMO then It's perfectly possible that she hadn't met the housemates, they are more like self contained beds it's but with a shared kitchen.

Personally I'd have wanted to meet the people I had to share with first to make sure they weren't annoying or noisy. or weird types who ran around the flat shrieking, w ith pants on their head Grin

MollyRedskirts · 28/08/2016 15:17

You sound great! It'll be fine and if it isn't, move to Liverpool and be my friend. DH likes to put a pair of my clean knickers on his head whenever he does housework and I've started nicking his boxer shorts and doing the same. We'll get on like a house on fire. Wink

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 28/08/2016 15:17

Tut Hmm that should have said bedsits

Tabsicle · 28/08/2016 15:52

Yup. Lived in a flat for a year and never knew their names. I don't think they were the same flatmates though - people tended to come and go. I had one who didn't speak any English, I know that. One who lived with his boyfriend and they tended to talk to each other and glared if I was ever using the kitchen when they wanted too. To be fair, I lived with bf at the weekends and a couple of nights per week anyway, then, so it didn't really matter. But talking wasn't the norm in that flat.

Original poster
HeyNannyNanny · 28/08/2016 16:22

It's actually a really beautiful flat, overlooking the Thames. We're very lucky to have found it. Our room is very big (50sqm) and we pay £1330 a month for everything, including a cleaner.

We're pretty introverted and have created our own living space.

I think if I didnt have DP I'd want to socialise with flat mates more

OP posts:
Trills · 28/08/2016 17:32

50 sq m is bigger than my flat.

But I have my own bathroom.

And I can walk to the bathroom naked.

So I think I'll stick here.

acasualobserver · 28/08/2016 17:37

Has the OP asked you to swap?

Trills · 28/08/2016 17:47

Not that I'm aware :o

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