To think this is not a fair way for kids parties?

[MidniteScribbler]

So I was forced went to a kids 5th birthday yesterday. I've managed to avoid kids parties for the last five years, but it looks like my run of freedom is now over. So this party had about eight 4-7 year olds attending. Mum had organised lots of party games - moving statues, pass the parcel, quizzes (which kids movie are these characters from, etc), musical chairs - she went all out. Every single game was won by the birthday girl. All of them. Mum made sure the music stopped when her DD was right next to the last chair, made sure she had the last parcel in pass the parcel, kept calling her daughter for the silly quizzes, and no matter how much her DD moved, she won the various rounds of musical statues.

Now, I know it's just a kids party, but I could see some of the kids getting a bit frustrated when they kept getting sent out of the games or not picked for the quizzes, and many of the mums were starting to give each other rather pointed looks. I would have thought that you would generally try and make sure that everyone had a chance to win something? Or is this a whole new mummy thing that I've never experienced before?

[AskBasil]

I have never heard of anyone doing this in all my life.

The woman is a total loon.

[TheAntiBoop]

I know! Luckily dd is quite laid back! He could have had a riot on his hands!!

[ImissGrannyW]

At the party I mentioned earlier (the one that ds still snarls at 10 years later) the mother actually moved the tail her son pinned on........grin

Surely this can't have ever happened?

And an entertainer taking a present away from a winning child and giving it to another????

Am I in an alternate universe????

[BertrandRussell]

Imiss- honestly it happened!

The only time I have ever seen anything like it- as I said, if I mention the child's name to ds (he still lives int he area) he is still outraged!

There were only a couple of parents present, and she looked at us with a sort of "well, what can you do?" type shruggy grin as she did it. I think thought the other children didn't notice..........

[Craigie]

I'd go out of my way to make sure all the other kids won. This mum is just a bitch.

[nick247]

I don't understand this 'middle layer'of pass the parcel.Does it also have a big prize? I just used to put sweets in each layer and one prize at end.

[justalittlelemondrizzle]

That's awful and no its definately not normal. How does she think that's an acceptable way to treat small children. We've always made sure all kids had a chance to win something. Even if it was a layer on pass the parcel. We always make sure we don't leave anyone out.

[blushrush]

I went to school with a mum/daughter combo like this. Birthdays were a nightmare as you knew at some point she (the daughter) would throw a fit because you didn't let them win at something.

Then she'd tell her mum and you'd get told to 'play nice' and that the 'birthday girl had to win as it was her special day'. Wretch!

[BorpBorpBorp]

The Official Rules of Pass the Parcel state that every child should win one round, and then the last round should be random, with the person controlling the music having their back turned to the players.

[MidniteScribbler]

Wow, I'm so glad that I'm not being one of those mothers, and this is not the usual situation.

DS got upset because he got sent out on the first round of every game, and after this happened about six times he came over to me and was upset that he kept getting sent off and he couldn't understand why. I'm not usually one of "those" mothers that expects their child to be the centre of attention, but I could see that DS was getting annoyed, not because he wasn't winning, but because he thought he was playing the game and was always the first to be eliminated. Then they went to get the food and DS was told he couldn't have a cupcake because it had a Frozen picture on it and that was 'for the girls'. He got fruit, but couldn't understand why he couldn't have a Frozen cupcake when one other girl got 4 on her plate.

I think I'm going to make excuses for any other invitations that we get. It all just seems too hard!

[impossible]

This isnt normal. When my dcs had parties we made sure the prizes went to the guests. If the birthday dc won a prize they would put it back and we'd play again. They were happy to do this as the guests had brought them bday presents.
When my dd was very young we went to party like you describe - the bday girl won everything. There was a lot of disapproval among the parents but nobody said anything. However, we all thought rather badly of the mother do I dont think she did herself any favours.

[Idliketobeabutterfly]

I'm guessing no one will want to attend next year. Nope, not normal at all.

[Idliketobeabutterfly]

wtf at the frozen cupcakes only for girls though..... yikes

[Willywonka1]

Lol I wouldn't/couldn't have kept my mouth shut.
What a weirdo lol

[merrymouse]

DS was told he couldn't have a cupcake because it had a Frozen picture on it and that was 'for the girls

Weird! With only 8 children you would have thought everyone would get a cupcake.

However, 8 children aged 4-7 sounds like family friends, not classmates. Perhaps the mum doesn't have much experience of children's parties either?

[CalmerLlama]

Definitely not fair and incredibly weird, not fair to the birthday child too who'll be remembered for entirely the wrong reasons. Pass the parcel done properly should risk reaching almost farcical levels of fairness, including extra layers put on for when I forget who has and hasn't unwrapped a layer yet and tight smiles "oh Anna I'm sure you were still holding it when I stopped the music, you unwrap it now" (when Anna obviously doesn't give a shiny shit about pass the parcel but tough, I'm not being the mean one so she'll sodding well have to open a layer ).

[stealthsquiggle]

I did have a small meltdown from DS at his first party because he wasn't winning anything. We had a chat about the obscene pile of presents that his friends had brought, and all was well. From then on I have always reminded my DC that they are not going to win anything at their own parties, and they have been fine.

I don't know whether it comes from school or from home, but both their peer groups have been fair to a fault - pass the parcel is a bit of a farce, as if someone gets it for a second time they will insist on passing it round to someone who hasn't had it yet . It drives uber-competitive DH nuts, but you can't stop them - I just put a few extra layers on and make sure they all know when everyone has had one turn and the rest are up to pure luck. I also put tonguetwisters/riddles in each layer to make it a little bit more interesting as they have got older (but still all insist that they are not too old for pass the parcel )

[Justdontaskhowiam]

Having a flashback to my 6th bday party. My mum's friend snatched the pass the parcel prize from me because it was my birthday so I shouldn't have won. What a meanie.

[00100001]

I think it's absolutely fine. She obviously deserves to win all those games, it is her birthday after all. And isn't that what birthdays are for? To celebrate one person? She is the centre of everything, naturally. So why would the other children need to win anything, they have been to a party, and been fed, what else do they need or want?

[meganorks]

Wow. That's fucking mean. What a fun party! When I had a small party it was easy to do games and make sure everyone got something. When I had a big party I got enough other stuff that didn't have to do games!

[Purple52]

Not normal. Agree with all other posters. But I have been to a party a bit like this that was very engineered! The birthday girl did win pass the parcel. But all of the other guests also 'won' a lovely present on each layer - that was very specific to that childs interests! Which was lovely. But OTT!!
Other games were won by others. But everyone walked out with a PTP present. A prize for a game and a bag of sweets and a cake. So no additional party bag tat - which was nice!!

[woodhill]

Are you joking 0001etc. A sure way to create a selfish self centred child. The mother is a cheat anyway if her dd wins unfairly.. Not a good example to set.

[SvalbardianPenguin]

The child who has the birthday should not win the games. YANBU.

[Luluandizzy]

No I think it's a bit silly and indulgent. Not fair to the party guests and isn't teaching birthday girl anything other then she is spoiled

[gillybeanz]

This isn't normal at all, it's usual that the birthday child wins one prize or none at all.
I don't agree with the "every child wins a prize" though as life isn't like this.