To think this is not a fair way for kids parties?

[MidniteScribbler]

So I was forced went to a kids 5th birthday yesterday. I've managed to avoid kids parties for the last five years, but it looks like my run of freedom is now over. So this party had about eight 4-7 year olds attending. Mum had organised lots of party games - moving statues, pass the parcel, quizzes (which kids movie are these characters from, etc), musical chairs - she went all out. Every single game was won by the birthday girl. All of them. Mum made sure the music stopped when her DD was right next to the last chair, made sure she had the last parcel in pass the parcel, kept calling her daughter for the silly quizzes, and no matter how much her DD moved, she won the various rounds of musical statues.

Now, I know it's just a kids party, but I could see some of the kids getting a bit frustrated when they kept getting sent out of the games or not picked for the quizzes, and many of the mums were starting to give each other rather pointed looks. I would have thought that you would generally try and make sure that everyone had a chance to win something? Or is this a whole new mummy thing that I've never experienced before?

[MetalMidget]

I never won anything at my own parties, and my parents also put in extra little prizes between each layer. After about 6, I was the one in charge of the pause button. I was firm but fair!

[VioletBam]

My best friend did this. Her DS was only 4 so I always try to think that she was still wrapped up in the madness of PFB-ism.

It was so weird though! Pass the parcel wasn't AS bad as between each layer was a lollypop so each child got one of those...then she made the last unwrapping to fall on her DS...and he unwrapped a big toy car.

As if he hadn't already had about twenty gifts!

[BestZebbie]

YANBU - there is a bit of rigging involved in children's parties, but towards the end to make sure that every guest has won something. The birthday child gets to win a maximum of one game, and not a large prize like pass the parcel.

[IggyPopsicle]

God help the child if she goes to an amusement park for her birthday one year, and one of her friends wins a toy on the grabber machine.

I suspect she may burst into flames.

[BurningBridges]

Does the mother have form OP? Is this from school or nursery etc? Will be a rich source of threads in years to come if so ...!!

[HateSummer]

No it's not normal. Every party I've been to, the birthday child doesn't win..except one woman who ALWAYS makes sure the birthday child or their sibling wins. Every. Single. Time. It's really annoying and rude imo.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

YNBU. The unwritten rule is that. Every child has a chance of winning.

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

It's not normal, mother will find that no-one wants to go to their parties anymore, so she's shot herself (and DD) in the foot, hasn't she? A bit sad really as DD will find out that the world isn't fair and doesn't revolve around her.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

The scales have fallen from my eyes - I naively thought people just played the games and it was random, I've never seen anyone do this. Awful behaviour! Like pp said, life's too short to rig a party game.

[VioletBam]

Satsui but you HAVE to rig them...so the other children all win something!

[AGenie]

I always just have pass the parcel "winning" game and there is always one present for each child. This year I put in a present for each Mum too.

[TheHuntingOfTheSarky]

Poor child will probably expect to win all the prizes at all the other parties she goes to.

We never do this, birthday child still gets a party bag but doesn't win any of the prizes from the games.

Slightly different circumstances if there's an entertainer - then birthday child always gets called up to take part in the games, but generally alongside one or two others.

[ChocolateFuzz]

Why would you rig them? Just play the games and whoever wins, wins

[Archduke]

Mum clearly utterly nuts.

And also laughably weird.

Only answer is to be compassionate to the child. And mum too as completely deluded.

[JudyCoolibar]

Silly woman. None of those children are going to be keen on coming to her child's parties ever again. She's lucky they didn't all refuse to carry on playing the games if they stood no chance of winning.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

Yes I see what you mean, I'm not really objecting, and that's still fair in its own way. I just really thought the games just played out. I've never thrown that kind of party as I found the idea too anxiety inducing, being responsible for the entertainment. I remember being at a party and saying to the kindly granddad of the birthday girl who was sitting next to me at pass the parcel that I never won anything at parties and him saying something like maybe you will this time, and lo and behold I won the Scooby Doo pencil case, one of my best memories, the penny has literally just dropped that the reason he was nearby was he was manning the bloody music and it wasn't an amazing piece of luck

[GabsAlot]

sounds like a spoilt brat

the kids wont take the piss they just wont be friends with her

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

My son's friend had a mum like this. She let him win everything; not just at his party but anytime they played a game.
When he came to play at our house, he threw Hungry Hippos across the room because he didn't win, even though he tried to cheat. .

It's not a good lesson to teach a child.

[ImissGrannyW]

I remember being at a party and saying to the kindly granddad of the birthday girl who was sitting next to me at pass the parcel that I never won anything at parties and him saying something like maybe you will this time, and lo and behold I won the Scooby Doo pencil case, one of my best memories, the penny has literally just dropped that the reason he was nearby was he was manning the bloody music and it wasn't an amazing piece of luck

This has brought tears to my eyes. Bless that kindly grandfather!!!!

My DD too old for this now, but yes, yes to prizes in every layer of pass the parcel. When we got to the bottom layer, I'd always turn my back, so it was proper random. And then whoever won the other games, won them, but I used to have sweets or medals with "winner" (about £1 for 50!) every time someone was 'out'. Also talked to DD before every party and reminded her not to expect to win and conversations about being a good host.

[MetalMidget]

The op should point the mother to bit in Lord of the Rings where Smeagol murders his best friend because he wouldn't give him the ring that he'd found on his birthday...

[NotCitrus]

They're always fixed to ensure no-one wins too much and the birthday child wins nothing/one thing at most.

Ds age 7 went to a party recently and told his best friend to sit opposite the birthday child in pass-the-parcel for the best chance of winning...

[Allthebubbles]

Not normal at all, I was really embarrassed when my husband accidentally let our son win the main pass the parcel present. The birthday child gets all the presents etc!

[gamerwidow]

I've never been to a party where the birthday child wins everything. Like others have said it's usually rigged at this age so that everyone wins something. Kids don't want to play games that they've got no chance of winning.

[MakeMyWineADouble]

I remember being at a party with my friend must have been 8 or so and trying to be persuaded to play a game we were perfectly happy amusing ourself with the toys when the mum of the birthday girl said come on you might win a prize my friend turned and said no we won't A (the birthday girl) is winning them all there were definitely some sniggers from the other adults didn't stop the mum rigging the rest of the games though

[BertrandRussell]

My favourite entitled child story is a friend of dd's who, when hit by a snowball said "In my house, I throw snowballs at people- people don't throw snowballs at me"

She soon found out it wasn't like that at our house!