To think this is not a fair way for kids parties?

[MidniteScribbler]

So I was forced went to a kids 5th birthday yesterday. I've managed to avoid kids parties for the last five years, but it looks like my run of freedom is now over. So this party had about eight 4-7 year olds attending. Mum had organised lots of party games - moving statues, pass the parcel, quizzes (which kids movie are these characters from, etc), musical chairs - she went all out. Every single game was won by the birthday girl. All of them. Mum made sure the music stopped when her DD was right next to the last chair, made sure she had the last parcel in pass the parcel, kept calling her daughter for the silly quizzes, and no matter how much her DD moved, she won the various rounds of musical statues.

Now, I know it's just a kids party, but I could see some of the kids getting a bit frustrated when they kept getting sent out of the games or not picked for the quizzes, and many of the mums were starting to give each other rather pointed looks. I would have thought that you would generally try and make sure that everyone had a chance to win something? Or is this a whole new mummy thing that I've never experienced before?

[SecretNutellaFix]

I still remember my fifth birthday party for the wrong reasons.

My three and a half year old sister throwing a huge tantrum every time someone gave me a present or card, until my grandmother took her from teh room. She came back in clutching a £5 note. In 1984. Then brandishing it at me every ten minutes.

Oh and one of my cousins (older than me) having a huge tantrum because I refused to let her blow out the candles so she stood up on her chair and pissed herself at the table.

[woodhill]

That's awful. I remember stopping the music so each child would get a turn etc. Usually the. Birthday child wouldn't win as they already have loads of presents. Very poor show imo.

[dramaticpenguin]

I've been a children's entertainer for years (though not so much since day job went full time and my own 2 need my attention at weekends) but must have done over 100 parties and have always made sure that a variety of children win, and almost never the birthday child unless I slip with the pause button on pass the parcel. Did see an entertainer at a friends DD's party though, and he did a dance competition which was won by the birthday girl, and anot obstacle course race where birthday girl was main participant/winner. Was a little bit much and she was starting to get evils from the other kids!

[QuackDuckQuack]

My DD knows the 'you don't win if it's your party' rule. She is a terrible loser, so we aren't having a party with games. Other children's parties are an excellent opportunity for her to practise losing gracefully or massively embarrass me by having an uncharacteristic tantrum.

[Beeziekn33ze]

OP - the 7 year olds at that party won't forget the birthday snowflake winning everything!
Shelagh - that's so mean. Glad your DD was too happy and excited to notice the unkindness. You'll be relieved for her to mix with other, hopefully more pleasant, parents when she's in reception.

[EweAreHere]

Wow. I have NEVER seen that, and I've been forced to endure a lot of children's parties over the past 10 years. Party game 'winners' are usually shared out even handedly amongst all the children, especially since the birthday child is getting loads of stuff.

I have seen a birthday child melt down because she wasn't winnint everything, but that should have been dealt with by her parents as a learning point, not as a let her win, then, thought.

[CoolCarrie]

That is so weird and impolite. Never experienced this behaviour any where, thank godness.

[Sara107]

My dD went to a party when she was about 3 and there was a personalised gift for each child in the pass the parcel, one in each layer of paper. The parents had wrapped each layer in different coloured paper, and had a map of which layer of paper corresponded to which gift, and therefore which child it had to stop at. Cue a complete nightmare of trying to get the stopping to happen at a specific child each time! I suspect in subsequent years it became a generic packet of Haribo per layer!

[user1470269632]

No, it's not normal. Especially if the mother's were giving pointed looks too! It won't help her DC either in the long term, as the other children will become disillusioned and actually start to resent the party child. Resentment often turns to anger too. IMHO it's very short sighted of the mother to do this.
At our party's I used to make sure all the children had a turn at unwrapping pass the parcel and out a little bag of haribos in each layer. I also make sure that all the children wo something. It's more fair and children go home happy and not full of resentment. These days it's so easy to get little presents that the children like.
Ulitimatley, it's not the cost of the present that the child has won. It's the thought and their feelings.
I would tell my own DC depending on whose birthday it was (I've got a daughter and a son) that they could open all their own presents after their party, mainly so that I could write down who gave what and sent the appropriate(age wise) thank you letter from my child, thanking them for the present.

[PurplePenguins]

Every child wins something at my DC parties. I just remember going to parties as a kid and being so desperate to win something. I dread to think how the others felt poor little things.

[SingingSandwich]

No, that's not normal at all! I always try and go out of my way to avoid my birthday child winning ANY games!

One of my children had a party earlier this year, with carnival type games set up (home-made) and I had a battalion of parent volunteers manning the 'stalls'. Some of them involved scoring the highest score, some involved guessing where something was, or the name of the teddy etc. I was absolutely mortified when it came to the end of the party and I read out the names of the winners of each game, to hand out the prizes (each child also got a small sweet for their party bags after finishing each game). Each one of my children won a game, my nieces and nephews each won one and two of my god-children won games. Out of all of them, there was only one game that was won by a child not related to me in some way. It was so embarrassing but a complete fluke!! There were also lots of children who didn't win a 'grand' prize, but only one of them kicked up a stink about it, and I was expecting that as that child's behaviour is such that they expect presents on siblings birthdays and hijack bday parties etc that aren't theirs.

[PinkyOfPie]

Oh god this reminds me of a joint party I had for my 6th birthday. A girl in my class was also turning 6 so we doubled up at her house and it was all about her, I barely got a mention, and she won every single game (not her fault of course but orchestrated by the mum).

No it's not normal it sounds very awkward!

Although I didn't know it was 'the done thing' to make sure every child won a prize at parties fuck I have a lot to learn!

[Daydream007]

That's appalling! It's normal to try and have every child to win something! That girl will grow up very self centred!

[Sparklyglitter]

Not normal! I went to a party with my 8 year old daughter, where the mum let her daughter win at everything! It's just not healthy! The birthday child is already being singled out as it's their birthday so I've no idea why they need to win everything else as well?!? Annoying and weird!!

[Katherine2626]

Oh dear - this is going to be one unhappy little girl as life progresses and she comes to realise that everything does not revolve around her, and she isn't the winner every time. What about the next party she might get invited to? What is her mother thinking of? Apart from which how many of the other small friends are going to (quite rightly) not feel quite so friendly towards her in future.

[GingerbreadGingerbread]

What a joyless and weird party.

[QuackDuckQuack]

It's like inviting children to perform as extras in the story of your child's life.

[Asuitablemum]

I'm a bit surprised by the answers on this thread. Every party that I've been to (admittedly only about 8), the birthday child always wins the middle prize on pass the parcel. Not everything else though. I though that was standard.

[Haudyerwheesht]

My sister does this 😡😡.

My kids aren't allowed to win at their own parties. They're getting enough treats!

Although, I admit Dd probably annoys everyone because she always wins at least one prize at every party she goes to be it statues / pass the parcel or whatever. Weird.

[GloveBug]

Last time I organised pass the parcel I made sure each child got to unwrap a layer and for the last layer (the big prize) I turned my back to everyone so I didn't know who was going to win. How can she think it's right to let the birthday girl win everything?

[TheAntiBoop]

Dd was telling me how excited she was going to be to win pass the parcel at her party. I was a little confused why she thought this would happen and she explained that she had won pass the parcel at a party and the entertainer had grabbed it off her and given it to the birthday girl. So dd believed that's how it goes!!

Needless to say she didn't win as I did it randomly and she wasn't bothered because she had plenty of presents!

[ample]

YANBU. I think it's bizarre

[GloveBug]

antiboop that's awful that the entertainer grabbed it off her

[Haudyerwheesht]

What do people mean by the 'middle' pass the parcel??

[ample]

this is going to be one unhappy little girl as life progresses and she comes to realise that everything does not revolve around her, and she isn't the winner every time.

Yes ^^ this.

Very spoilt girl as well