To think this is not a fair way for kids parties?

[MidniteScribbler]

So I was forced went to a kids 5th birthday yesterday. I've managed to avoid kids parties for the last five years, but it looks like my run of freedom is now over. So this party had about eight 4-7 year olds attending. Mum had organised lots of party games - moving statues, pass the parcel, quizzes (which kids movie are these characters from, etc), musical chairs - she went all out. Every single game was won by the birthday girl. All of them. Mum made sure the music stopped when her DD was right next to the last chair, made sure she had the last parcel in pass the parcel, kept calling her daughter for the silly quizzes, and no matter how much her DD moved, she won the various rounds of musical statues.

Now, I know it's just a kids party, but I could see some of the kids getting a bit frustrated when they kept getting sent out of the games or not picked for the quizzes, and many of the mums were starting to give each other rather pointed looks. I would have thought that you would generally try and make sure that everyone had a chance to win something? Or is this a whole new mummy thing that I've never experienced before?

[Janey50]

I remember when I was young and had birthday parties (this was back in the late 60's and early 70's) my mum would make sure that I did not win ANY of the party games,but she would try to ensure that every guest won one game. Her reasoning was that I was the host,and as the birthday girl,I had already had presents from everyone. So no,I don't think YABU.

[Floggingmolly]

Well, exactly... they weren't really the true guests of the party is an utterly ridiculous stance to take; given that you'd actually invited them
We're the B list kids aware of their status?!

[SandyPantz]

glassrobot if you "welcome" siblings then you include them, that party sounds awful no wonder the kid was WTF!

[Shakirawannabe]

I went to a 5th birthday party recently and the mother done this. Was really annoying as the parse the parcel gift was something the birthday girl had asked for so it was obviously planned for her to win strange

[tanfield90]

I didn't have many birthday parties - I couldn't be arsed but that's another
story - but I do remember my fifth. One game was

some weird cross between Hunt The Thimble and Hide And Seek. I found a
tube of Rowntrees Fruit Gums on the bookcase. I remember seeking approval from my sister to claim the prize because I thought I wasn't allowed to win at my own party.

[woodhill]

Love the expression "Mardy" - are you from the North. It's what my dgm would say.

[00100001]

[blushrush]

I think 00100001 is the mum in question from the OP's first post

[Masketti]

8 kids play 8 games 8 winners. Surely that's the easiest thing with a small party? With a big party choose a mix of rowdy kids and quiet kids and let them win.

[shelllouise]

My girls went to a birthday party a couple of years ago where the birthday girl wanted to win everything. It was her 7th or 8th birthday, I can't remember which. She had tantrums if she didn't win, she cried and stomped around when she didn't get her own way and made all the party games stop because she refused to play and the mum wouldn't carry on without her.
My youngest whispered to me, 'she's so mardy mum, let's go home, it's not a fun party'.
They were invited the following year but unfortunately, we were far too busy!

[glassrobot]

Haha ridiculous! I recently had a party for my youngest child and to make life easy for the parents of all the little ones that were invited to the party their older siblings were made welcome too, as big kid party helpers. All the big kids were cool with this and either helped or went and played outside. Except one. Who wanted to be IN the games, with the little ones, and tantrummed when he hadn't won anything. All the other little kids won something (except the birthday child) - he was also outraged that there was no prizes between the layers of pass the parcel...
Everyone got to sit and eat at the party table and everyone got a party bag at the end and I thought that should have been enough for the big kids really... Since they weren't really the true guests of the party it was their younger siblings who were! Proper spoilt brattery!!

[00100001]

woodhill But OP's daughter's friend is the MOST important child on earth, it's obvious.

[OhGodWhatTheHellNow]

Ah, my dd was crying at her 5th birthday party because she wasn't winning the games, and my 7 year old ds explained the 'rules' to her, kids get it and she was happier once she realised she had a pile of presents to open afterwards and once she became official You're Outer

I hate kids parties, we have them at home (big house and wooded garden) and all the nice little children turn into feral savages so I suggested a Lord of the Flies theme last year, ooh the looks I got...

[Lozza92]

wow YANBU, every child should get a chance at winning

i remember hating my parties when i was little i always had to have a joint party with a girl across the street as we were only 3 days apart, and all of our presents would be exactly the same just in different colours and the other girl would throw a tantrum everytime i got a colour she thought was better than hers and her mum would make me swap! well surprise surprise shes turned into a spoilt brat with no friends!

[Ibelieve123]

Whenever we've done bday parties. The winner was the winner bday girl or not. And we would always have extra sweets to hand out to the losers of each game. Usually I would get the 1st person out to help judge or hand put the sweets.
That way everyone gets a treat

[gillybeanz]

This isn't normal at all, it's usual that the birthday child wins one prize or none at all.
I don't agree with the "every child wins a prize" though as life isn't like this.

[Luluandizzy]

No I think it's a bit silly and indulgent. Not fair to the party guests and isn't teaching birthday girl anything other then she is spoiled

[SvalbardianPenguin]

The child who has the birthday should not win the games. YANBU.

[woodhill]

Are you joking 0001etc. A sure way to create a selfish self centred child. The mother is a cheat anyway if her dd wins unfairly.. Not a good example to set.

[Purple52]

Not normal. Agree with all other posters. But I have been to a party a bit like this that was very engineered! The birthday girl did win pass the parcel. But all of the other guests also 'won' a lovely present on each layer - that was very specific to that childs interests! Which was lovely. But OTT!!
Other games were won by others. But everyone walked out with a PTP present. A prize for a game and a bag of sweets and a cake. So no additional party bag tat - which was nice!!

[meganorks]

Wow. That's fucking mean. What a fun party! When I had a small party it was easy to do games and make sure everyone got something. When I had a big party I got enough other stuff that didn't have to do games!

[00100001]

I think it's absolutely fine. She obviously deserves to win all those games, it is her birthday after all. And isn't that what birthdays are for? To celebrate one person? She is the centre of everything, naturally. So why would the other children need to win anything, they have been to a party, and been fed, what else do they need or want?

[Justdontaskhowiam]

Having a flashback to my 6th bday party. My mum's friend snatched the pass the parcel prize from me because it was my birthday so I shouldn't have won. What a meanie.

[stealthsquiggle]

I did have a small meltdown from DS at his first party because he wasn't winning anything. We had a chat about the obscene pile of presents that his friends had brought, and all was well. From then on I have always reminded my DC that they are not going to win anything at their own parties, and they have been fine.

I don't know whether it comes from school or from home, but both their peer groups have been fair to a fault - pass the parcel is a bit of a farce, as if someone gets it for a second time they will insist on passing it round to someone who hasn't had it yet . It drives uber-competitive DH nuts, but you can't stop them - I just put a few extra layers on and make sure they all know when everyone has had one turn and the rest are up to pure luck. I also put tonguetwisters/riddles in each layer to make it a little bit more interesting as they have got older (but still all insist that they are not too old for pass the parcel )

[CalmerLlama]

Definitely not fair and incredibly weird, not fair to the birthday child too who'll be remembered for entirely the wrong reasons. Pass the parcel done properly should risk reaching almost farcical levels of fairness, including extra layers put on for when I forget who has and hasn't unwrapped a layer yet and tight smiles "oh Anna I'm sure you were still holding it when I stopped the music, you unwrap it now" (when Anna obviously doesn't give a shiny shit about pass the parcel but tough, I'm not being the mean one so she'll sodding well have to open a layer ).