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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be sleeping in the same room as my 11mo?

11 replies

j20nly · 26/08/2016 21:15

I do feel I need to put her in her own room as she's still waking multiple times a night to breastfeed and it's driving me nuts - I need a decent nights sleep! But the thought terrifies me and I just can't seem to bite the bullet and put her in her room. I also want to stop breastfeeding (been wanting to stop for ages) but again I just can't seem to bring myself to do it even though I'm totally knackered and drained. What's wrong with me?!

OP posts:
AlwaysDancing1234 · 26/08/2016 21:25

My DD is 2 now and still sleeps in our room (mind you there's nowhere else for her to go anyway!) she also has s breastfeed before she goes to sleep at night so if you are bad I must be really terrible! I say if you are both happy then there's no problem.

nutbrownhare15 · 26/08/2016 21:30

What's wrong with you? You are a new mum who doesn't want to upset her baby. There's nothing wrong with you. I too have been terrified of making changes with regard to my 13 month old's sleep habits. She sleeps with me, feeds2-3 times a night, I don't fancy getting up for night feeds anyway. The norm in the UK does seem to be cot in own room at this age, but there is nothing 'wrong' with doing it differently. I'm planning to cosleep for a few more months before giving her a choice about where she sleeps-her bed or mine Smile if your child is waking up many more times than 2-3 I recommend reading The No Cry Sleep.Solution and The Gentle Sleep Book as they helped me to try to reduce night wakings. I've been scared of changing anything but we did try daddy putting ti sleep the other day- and it worked! Personally I want to bf until at least 2 but j have been feeling more knackered and drained and irritated with it recently. I found some bf forums on fb really helpful in sharing my experiences of bf with others and getting support from others, this includes on weaning.alsohave a look at kellymom.com resources on weaning. It does take courage to make changes esp when you don't want to upset your child. I would say make small gentle changes to get to where you want to be, your child may well surprise you too. Good luck and well done on getting this far, I know how hard it is.

SalemSaberhagen · 26/08/2016 22:17

My DD is 2 next month. She still sleeps in my bed and wakes up once for a breastfeed. The thought of her sleeping in her own room makes me feel anxious - luckily she says she wants 'mummy's bed' still!

lucyandpoppy123 · 26/08/2016 22:26

I dont think shes going to not wake at night if she goes in a different room? You'll just have further to walk when she does wake! Our 16month old is still in our room

Mari50 · 26/08/2016 22:28

How old is your baby? My DD was waking multiple times a night until I did some sleep training, at 8 months she was waking 3-4 times a night for about an hour a time. I couldn't take anymore and was returning to work so did some training. Two days later and in a separate room and she was through the night (almost- that's another story and my fault)
But don't be afraid to be a little bit tough, babies love boobs, love the smell, the milk and the cuddles- it's a hard habit to kick (but for your sanity . . . . )

bookwormnerd · 26/08/2016 22:35

Its difficult, my neerly 2 year old is still in with us and my DD was in till about 2 1/2. I found I worried alot, am more relaxed now but took a while for me to get used to it, though am a weirdo and check on 5 year old in night. I used an angel care monitor to start with to make self relax more. I felt better once dd could just walk in to our room and tell us if anything wrong and wasn't as worried as much about her getting up and hurting herself in night as she was up multiple times

WhooooAmI24601 · 26/08/2016 22:42

Ah she's still so tiny, if it's working for you just go with it. Have you tried to stop/reduce during the day and just feed morning and evening?

DS2 is a dreadful sleeper - he's 5 and a half and fell asleep in our bed tonight. I'll pop him into his bed when I go up and he'll sneak back in at 3am. I'm an easy-come-easy-go sort when it comes to sleep; better to have enough sleep in the same room than no sleep in separate ones.

Offler · 26/08/2016 23:17

We put DD in her own room at 4 months as she had outgrown her crib (small house, no room in our bedroom for a cot), she woke up 2-3 times a night until she was about a year old.

DS was in with us until about 18 months old. Bigger house, bigger bedroom, plus 'his' room was on another floor. Didn't sleep through until we moved him out.

Both bf, DD until about 15 months and DS until about 22 months. Once they started to sleep through it was just a morning and bedtime feed.

roseteapot101 · 26/08/2016 23:39

to wean my daughter off the night feeds i started giving her hipp organic goodnight milk before bed it needs a vari flow teat as its like a runny porridge.After a few nights she started to sleep longer

i was still breastfeeding but i gave her one bottle of formula at night

my daughter was in our room till 18months theres no rush

RhodaBorrocks · 27/08/2016 00:06

Haha no YANBU, DS was in with us until he was nearly 20 months, then had his own room for a year and a half, then I split with DP and had to move into a one bed and he slept in with me in a toddler bed in the corner of my room from 3.1 to 4.4.

You'll know when you're both ready, don't stress :)

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 27/08/2016 05:56

SIDS advice is to keep the baby in the room with you until at least 12 months old. YANBU!

WHO advice is to breastfeed for at least 2 years. YANBU!!

Get dad to help with night settling if you want to cut back night time feeds.

Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job.

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