To want to spend my birthday alone??

[facepalming]

It's my birthday next week. My DH is trying to make plans - all very lovely.

The thing is we have two dc, one is 2 and one 7 months.

We don't have family nearby so the only time we have had anyone else take care of them was when I was giving birth to dc2.

My DH works long days so I'm alone with both dc from about 7am until 7pm at which point we put the dcs to bed. I then cook a meal before we go to bed ourselves.

He is usually away a night or two a month with work.

I do all the housework and cooking and frankly it's all exhausting!

For my birthday all I really want is a day without either DH or DC's to look after. DH really doesn't get it and thinks in being selfish and mean.

AIBU?

He thinks you're selfish because he'll have to look after the children himself. He will have to be you for a short while and he hates the thought!

Thanks all for your understanding! it means a lot. I was feeling like I was being a bit cold on them all but it's good to know I'm not alone!

Goblin no not ever - maybe an hour while I go to the shops but nothing more. I've only just stopped bf so there hasn't been much opportunity but he definitely needs to do so now!

we have agreed I will have a night away with a friend in a couple of weeks. I think it'll be good for him to experience a taste of what my days look like and also give me a lovely break!

My step-mum ALWAYS goes to a spa, alone, on her birthday. As a step mum to 7 kids, you can imagine why she might have wanted the rest/break, but now she continues to do it because she really enjoys it. She has a very high pressure job too, so it's a perfect way for her to spend her day.

It's YOUR birthday, and you're allowed to be selfish!

It was my birthday 2 days ago. We have just come back from holiday and DH was jet lagged and exhausted so went to bed early, DD2 (age 18) was nice to me but being 18 was wrapped up in her own stuff. DD1 forgot it was my birthday (she lives 400 miles away and works hard, i forgive her). I had a lovely evening by myself with a bottle of wine, a big bag of crisps and all 6 episodes of Fleabag. It was so nice to do exactly what i wanted for a change.

Op totally understandable - you need time to yourself to recharge,of course. If DH is hurt, just pick a nearby day for you to treat yourself and have some time alone. The main thing is that you get the break you need and deserve. I organise myself some time around my birthday- if not exactly on it. Because if I didn't give myself time off, no one else would!

Not necessarily the same but similar. Some years ago my DD'S were spending Christmas day/dinner with the ex's family. No problem with that. For various reasons I couldn't go to my mum's (long story) We had a pet who needed tablets at a certain time of day so I said I'd stay home on my own on Christmas day, save going anywhere else then driving back to let the dogs out/give the dog her pills etc. Lovely day planned; fire, radio; box of after eights, Great escape on the telly. You think I'd threatened to eat babies!

Cue many protests that I can't be on my own at home at Christmas (yes I bloody can! ) Long short story, ended up going to my friend's for dinner, easier than listening to the constant moaning from everyone.
If it happened now, I'd say sod off and do it anyway!