To think the military wives choir is a bit rubbish?

[yummymummy1920]

Now please don't think that I'm against what they do and the reasons they do it.
I think they are supporting a VERY worthy cause and I donate to help for Heros every month BUT the choir is just a bit rubbish.. They don't sound particularly harmonious like a good choir should and a few of the solos i have listened to have just been awful.
Is it wrong of me to think that they should just raise awareness in other ways rather than people buying CD's that they aren't actually going to listen to?

Pass I'm not really sure where to begin with your post, you do know many of us are military wives and live this "heartbreaking and hard, sad face life" of which you speak of? To be honest its kind of patronising the way you have described our lives.

Struggle to make friends? This has never been an issue and when you move with postings everyone is in the same boat, or has been I'm it. They get it, yeah sure you meet some people you clash with along the way and the drama llamas and rank pushers, but we're pretty normal, plus there's always Facebook to keep in touch with other families that have moved away.

By "support" do you mean make sure dinners cooked, the kids are clean and everyone is alive by Sunday, I'm pretty sure most mothers do that?

The job one I'll give you that can be hard, but then many I know enjoy being sahp also.

The children don't "suffer" there is no suffering, obviously unless someone is shot, killed, blown up or now has limbs missing I mean yes it's going to get fucking awful then but the support is available.

I wouldn't say my children or friends children suffer, they learn to cope as do we, its a bit tricky at first as you settle in to a solo routine, but by week 5/6 you've nailed it and it just becomes the norm then they come back on r and R and mess your routine up haha!

We're not special snowflakes, were women doing the same job hundreds of thousands if not millions of women do. The day to day grind of juggling kids a house and sometimes a job, that's it.

No need to hand hold us and look at us with sympathy!

I'm a military wife too thanks Jiggly. So I speak from experience. Don't make assumptions.

I said struggle to keep friends, not make them. Being on the patch is great for making the here and now friends, but if you move frequently they rarely stay close friends.

I said children suffer from having one parent absent for long periods of time. This is true from my own experience, having had my own husband away from home more than at home in the time we've been married. Also we've moved on average every 6-18 months for the last 8 years. We lived in 7 houses in the space of 5 years. That's hard for children. Children can move schools every year on these posting frequencies. That's hard for them too and yes, they do suffer - both in friendships lost and in education.

You sweepingly say that many military spouses like being SAHPs. Great! Because few people I know have had a snowball's chance in hell of keeping their careers while supporting their spouse's. Lucky they all like being at home hey!

I'm delighted for you that your life is clearly so easy. But for many it's actually bloody hard. Of course many people have it a lot tougher but I just can't personally see where the benefit is in bitching about a group of people who, through the medium of (admittedly often average) singing, try and inject a bit of positivity into theirs. Just be a bit more tolerant of others.

Moving every 6-18months is highly unusual, I'm not saying you didn't but it's not the norm. 24months and above are the usual postings, if you were spending so much time appart and the children were having to change schools so often, why didn't you go "married unaccompanied" This would have remedied many of the issues you speak of, seen as you said your husband was away a lot it really would not have made a significant impact for you and the children to be in one home and your husband move with 6month postings.

We're you granted SFA each time you were stationed for 6month's? That must have been a bollock to March in and out and get utilities in place for a grand total of 24weeks?

Officers wives tend to get a better chance of a career as they move less of at all on some camps. It didn't mean you can't have a job whilst you move around though, many I know work in local schools, pubs and retail. It's nothing grand but it's part or full time and puts more money in to the household coffers for some.

I haven't met one woman or family in my time that have had it easy, but they've never once made out their life was something to have a hand hold about. If anything they're more often than not pretty robust women.

You've obviously had a unuasal time which is very specific to you, as such frequent postings as I stated earlier are not the norm, and why can't we criticize a group that have put themselves in the public Wye to perform? I'm pretty sure if I decided to start doing shows on plate balancing or something I'd be expected to be judged on the quality of my act? Even more so if people paid money to see my talent?!

The MWC is not a precious group, they perform, performances are judged, this has nothing to with tolerence.

I'm all for people having social clubs, cake clubs and so forth but if you bake a shitty cake and sell it to me, I'll tell you it's awful, and I don't want poor baked goods forced on me either at family days.

Not everyone needs to like the choir people can be fed up/had bad experiences/simply dislike the noise.

Overthinker, your suggestion that people agreeing with OP shouldn't post unless they would have the "guts" to sing solo is irrelevant. I would have the guts to sing solo, but you definitely wouldn't want to hear me. That doesn't make me unable to tell whether singing is good quality or not, just as my inability to act doesn't prevent me from being able to tell good or bad acting when I see it.

I would love to sing solo on TV! Does that mean I'm allowed an opinion on the MWC?

YABU. I joined a MWC when I left the Armed Forces 4 yrs ago and can honestly say it's one of the best things I've done. It's given me a fantastic network of friends and I don't know the ranks of any of their husbands or indeed their own ranks if they are a serving members. Everyone is treated equal. If you feel that you are hearing a choir too often at a Mess function then maybe you should speak to the mess committee as they are the ones who sort out the entertainment and hire them. I know for a fact our choir doesn't go out begging to perform, we are usually approached by someone. The MWC helps raise money for so many different charities and community projects across the nation. The choir in question had only been together for a short period of time when this was filmed (about 3 yrs ago) which makes it even more admirable in my eyes, but yes, I am biased as a fellow MWC member. I've done things which I never would have imagined since joining but none of that matters compared to the friends that I have made and sharing those experiences with them. I have also sung a couple of dodgy solos in my time but my gosh I've sung them with passion as it's a group I am proud to be a member of. There are plenty of things I see and hear in the world that I don't like which I'm sure other people love. Live and let live. Stronger Together xxx

Jiggly my husband is an officer. Officers usually move more often, not less, and (in my experience) to a far greater range of places. However it depends on the service, rank and regiment/corps as to how often and where you can posted. DH is army and everyone I know in the army moves fairly frequently. Yes we've had quarters for all of them - the six monther was six months because the battalion moved and we moved with it. No, I don't want to just go married unaccompanied (because seriously - why should we have to spend our married lives apart?! This is a classic response to a moan about frequent moves - oh well you don't have to move, just spend your lives apart and stop complaining). We're only just getting to school age children ourselves - I wasn't referring to mine but other people's - many of whom have lived exactly as I've described. Going married unaccompanied long term is hard for everyone.

I was talking about losing long, hard worked-for professional careers, not working a shop for some cash. It's not comparable (but accept it wasn't necessarily clear I was talking about professional careers)

On the cake thing - maybe that's the difference between some people. If someone had taken the time to bake a cake for a charity sale (as these things usually are), and it wasn't great, I wouldn't go and criticise it! Just chuck it away and be thankful your money's gone to charity! You're not paying them for the cake, the cake is a vehicle for the money to go to charity. The cake maker has paid for the ingredients and doesn't get your money... But I now understand why you take the view you do on the choirs - this comment about the cake has made it clearer.

If you're talking about a situation where the money's not going to charity, just don't buy their "shitty baked goods". Problem solved.

pass it must be very different for different regiments, I was married to a officer before it ended in domestic violence, don't worry though I'm fine, I can talk about it we never moved in the 3 years we were married, I'm now with a jnr rank. dont ask, I swore blind I'd never date a man in uniform, but you can't control who you love he will never move though, only one camp does their job in the UK but he is away a lot we've had a constant 6months operations for the past 3 years including afgahn and other overseas duties/training and so forth which anyone knows all about.

It's obviously a highly personal decision to go uncomponied, and I do apologise I didn't word it correctly. I can clearly see your objection to it and I do understand.

Maybe I also see the charity side different, I work for a forces charity, and help for heroes are a great charity but their scope of care is very limited sadly, it's probably why I'm also happy to say " no I don't want a bad cake, just because it goes to charity" I can see both sides of that.

I'm not having a go, think I'm just a bit blunt when writing. Sorry

Judy - my point is it is an amateur choir. It is not professionals - it is amateurs.

These people are spending their free time doing something worthwhile and raising money and awareness.

Meanwhile other people spend their free time bitching on mumsnet.

I actually think you need to take a hard look at your values if the fucking Military Wife's Choir offends you that much.

PS - at no point did I say you weren't allowed an opinion.

What I'm saying is FFS be a bit nicer.

If any of you have watched rugby league we've just done it the right way.

Group of fans, appear at the showpiece event to sing. We inflict it on nobody but ourselves

These people are spending their free time doing something worthwhile and raising money and awareness.

Meanwhile other people spend their free time bitching on mums net.

Overthinker, you can do both, you know. You ask people to be "nicer": it's not very nice to assume that I don't spend part of my free time doing "something worthwhile" or raising money or awareness. You couldn't be further from the truth.

I actually think you need to take a hard look at your values if the fucking Military Wife's Choir offends you that much.

Where did I say it offended me?

My post about being allowed an opinion was, as demonstrated at the start, in response to jennpenn's highly offensive post that got deleted, and wasn't directed at you.

Before you start telling people to be "nicer", perhaps you could do them the courtesy to read their posts properly.

I knew someone that joined one of these, the one on the telly.

The moment he said "we have allsorts of people, we even have a Wing Commanders wife" I bloody well knew who it was.

overthinker lots of sweeping assumptions there that aren't very nice either. How do you know that others are not out raising money or awareness for other causes?

It's not a case of being in the MW choir gives you a monopoly on being a good person!

If you put yourself out there to make money for whatever reason, including charity, people are entitled to have an opinion. It's not primary school where everyone gets praise for just having a go!!