To ask you the good and the bad about nursery?

[Historygeek]

My youngest is soon to start nursery in the baby room. Eldest went, no major problems and lived to tell the tale and was happy most of the time.

I know quite a few people who either work or have worked in nurseries and they all say that they wouldn't send their own children. They all say the same things, that the children don't get enough 1-1 care, too much paperwork taking them away from the job, some children are unhappy all day but they are told to tell the parents that they're fine, always some staff that are impatient with the children, some staff having poor hygiene, I could go on.

It really worries me, I've looked round lots of nurseries and even though I have one I'm happy with I do worry, I shouldn't do because I've already done it all before it's just the things I get told.

Does anyone work in a nursery that can speak more highly of them?

We used 5 nurseries - three in London (all "good" or "outstanding") and two in home counties. going back would not do the same again. IMO provision in our area of London was low quality.

Main reasons: lies about how DC was during the day; observing crying DC being ignored; DC having minor injuries not explained and in one case when she had five scratch marks across her face like a small hand they tried to record it as "fell and bumped head on slide"; friend's DC ate paint and poo'd it out - nursery again denied; very high staff turnover; managers were paid peanuts and were mainly poor; one went bankrupt and closed at no notice; sickness absence records were not kept for DC (ofsted don't require this) and sickness levels seemed high.our DC was frequently ill with tummy bugs.

Our particular childminder was far far better.

DS1 loved his nursery. Very expensive though good food there too and lovely female staff. There was one male staff and he was caught with indecent images, which was scary and bloody sick and everything else. He was there for 6 months in the last last year of DS's 4 years there.

Been looking for DS 2 child care. Hours and prices is not suitable for us with a childminder. I like the all year round care too with nurseries. We only have 2 nurseries in our wee town. 1 is awful and has a male staff member. An absolute no from us.

The other nursery is lovely. No upset children unattended, outside space. Contact with children calm atmosphere and no males. He's registered for next year.

My DS is just about to start school but he has been in the same nursery since a few months old, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. They have done so many trips to zoos, shops, santa,Safari parks etc. visited old people's homes to sing, done a foreign language, cooking, nature trails, lots of cuddles off staff, been encouraged to be himself, helped with a developmental delay, he's made lots of friends, learned to share. He loves certain members of staff. I'm sure they have contributed a lot to helping him grow into the fantastic little boy he is. I'll be so sad to see him leave. The downside? It cost more than my mortgage each month.

Based on my vast experience of 1 nursery and 1 childminder (so far!) I don't have anything bad to say about nurseries really!

DD (now nearly 7) went to nursery from 10m to school age, and DS (now 3) was also there from 10m for 6 months, at which point they both went to a CM as that was the best way to combine all day care for DS with wraparound for DD.

The nursery they went to was quite a big one, which some people don't like but I feel had a number of advantages - it meant the age ranges in the rooms were quite narrow, so no 6mo in the same room as nearly 2yo. There was a dedicated nap room with proper cots for under-2s, and the fact there were so many staff meant that they could often cover absence with people who wanted to work overtime rather than having to get agency staff in. Turnover of staff was really low for the sector - lots and lots were there throughout the 4 years we were with them and I ran into one of the staff the other day and she was saying she'd been there for 14 years! Really flexible and willing to accommodate individual routines especially with the really little ones, and plenty of cuddles for all!

Our CM has been fine too, but for me there are a few more downsides. You're more vulnerable to sickness disrupting things because you have to allow for the CM's possible illness (and their DCs') as well as your own DC. The biggest thing though is that you are dependent on meshing/getting on well with one particular person. We generally get on v well with our CM but there have been a few times when there's been a difference of approach or opinion and our experience has been that she has been less flexible/accommodating than the nursery was.

However, the CM is still fine, and considerably cheaper (the nursery was an expensive one - c.£1,000pcm for four days a week for an under 2).

At my DS' nursery there are a fair few children of staff at the nursery. And quite a few younger siblings of children who at been there.

My DC's nursery was wonderful for years, though shit at paperwork so had a Satisfactory Ofsted. Then it got taken over and a number of experienced staff left - it got a Good Ofsted though. Then even more staff left, one led to an Ofsted investigation, and it struggled before getting more experienced staff again - I kept dd there as she was in the preschool room with excellent person, but wouldn't have used the other rooms then.
The kids were happy throughout, clawing at the door refusing to go home!

I saw other nurseries that I wouldn't send a child to (often with Outstanding Ofsted), and childminders similarly were varied.

My son has been in nursery 3 days a week since he was 11mo and he's thrived. He's had a close bond with each of his key workers as he's moved through different rooms and I notice new things that he's learned all the time which are definitely down to them not me! It happens to be rated outstanding but that wasn't particularly what swayed me to send him there, I just thought it had a lovely feel when we looked round and luckily it was the most convenient one in terms of location and hours for my job.

Go with your gut feeling. I looked at a few nurseries and they ticked all the right boxes, but I just couldn't feel like I could leave him in any of them from 8-6 five days a week - the thought turned my stomach for some reason - I cant explain it, but I do trust my gut.

The one I went with in the end was one I popped in to just enquire about prices and was offered a full tour on the spot. And they insisted I return with DP the next day so he could also take a look before we made our minds up. It was bright and cheerful and spotless with heaps of toys and activities for each room, and all the kids of all ages in the various rooms were all playing happily and being watched carefully. I just got such a happy vibe about the place - from staff as well as the kids.

When I went into the baby room that my DS would be in, the staff were so chatty and nice, and were really attentive to their charges. During the duration of our chat, one had a baby snuggled into her and was absent-mindedly stroking its hair and gently rocking him/her and didn't even notice she was doing it. But I did and knew that DS would be comforted and cuddled and loved even and that's what I wanted.

He was there full time from 11 months, and is now 4 and 4 months and loves going in. On the weekends he misses his friends and the fun they have. They do lots of activities and he comes home filthy from their veggie patch. He's learned so much and I really feel that they've been the 'village' they say it takes to help me rear him. He plays well with other children, younger and older. He's always getting praised by grandparents for how gentle he is with smaller toddlers. He's learned to share, wait his turn, all that social interaction that as an only child he would not really get often.

Any bumps or falls have always been fully explained to me and an incident report written out for me to sign. They instantly spot when he's not quite himself and maybe coming down with something. And they've listened to my possibly PFB concerns and queries and have always taken on board any thing I wanted to do or concerns I might have had and gave me good feedback.

I know a woman who was given an impromptu half day by her boss so went to get her kids from her childminder at 2pm and found CM and a friend sitting drinking wine. When challenged, CM said it was Friday and therefore the weekend and who was my friend to talk because she often mentioned having a glass of wine when the kids were in bed. This was a highly recommended CM too . My SIL has a great childminder, and so do a few more people I know so they are not obviously all bad.

The reason I went with a nursery in the end was because I didn't have a personal recommendation for a CM. And I felt that a CM could have anyone coming into their home who were unvetted or checked the way that nursery staff are here. And partly I worried that he would just be often plonked in front of the telly while the CM got on with housework or other chores whereas in a nursery, they are there to specifically look after the children. (CM's in Ireland do not have to be registered or provide any paperwork /qualifications, and don't have to be inspected or vetted but nursery staff usually have to have qualifications, training and first aid ) We also couldn't work around a CM getting sick or having holidays as we have no family nearby for backup.

I've used a nursery and CM both have pros & cons.

When I went back to work after mat leave DS was 10 months and went to nursery 3 days a week. It was a nursery with outstanding ofsted and cost an arm & leg. DS was very happy there, settled really quickly and generally chirpy when ever I saw him there. BUT I did feel it lacked the personal touch. Yes he had a key carer who he spent most of her time with him, but they weren't there all the time because of shifts. The nursery had a routine and the kids had to fit into it. Yes they would be flexible while giving them time to get used to the routine, but they had to fit in with how things were done - not the other way round.

When I took another job it was more practical to find a childminder. The first one seemed really nice when we met her and went to her house. Was super organised and had all the paperwork. She had sample menus of the healthy homecooked food she made, folders of the type of activities they do etc. But on the first day when went to pick him up he seemed very miserable. He had a scratch on his tummy that looked like a nail scratch from changing his nappy. And his bum wasn't properly clean. I just didn't feel comfortable that he'd be happy there. I made my excuses saying job hadn't worked out and didn't take him back to her!!! So found another childminder who had short notice space available. I was little bit worried as she seemed quite disorganised and a bit too laid back. But my son adores her. She is fantastic with him (and the other kids she has). She is a bit disorganised and I think does give them cheese or jam sandwiches for lunch most days and 'home cooking' might sometimes out the freezer. But you know what it doesn't bother me! He loves going there. She is really interested in him and can tell me in detail what he's been doing and what sort of mood he's been in (nursery always seemed a bit vague). She has her own kids and the CM kids just slot into the family and treated the same. Sometimes they have a lazy day at home play and a bit of TV, other days they go meet other friends or the park and stop off for a babyccino in Costa. My son enjoys going to her so much he still goes to her half a day a week even though I'm not working anymore!

It probably also depends on the personality of your DC. A busy nursery might be good for a very independent child. But a childminder might be better for a quieter more 'clingy' child.

My 2.5 yo DD has been to two nurseries and loved them both (moved house and nursery this year). She goes 3 days a week and has done since she was 9 months. I never liked the idea of childminders, partly as I wanted her to mix with plenty of other kids her age and not be cooped up in a house. This is indeed her favourite aspect of nursery. She misses her friends at the weekend and at the moment during her 2 week summer break.

Best things about the nurseries we have used:
Loads of kids to make friends with
Caring staff who want to be there
Great food, prepared from scratch by on site chef
Lots of space, wide range of toys and equipment
Arts and crafts, messy play, visiting things like zoo and theatre workshops
Big garden
Always open when they say they will be, not having to deal with sick days and holidays of staff.

The nursery she's at now, at least 2 of the staff send their own kids there.

I had a childminder for my first suited his personality plus at that point she was excellent with a real love for the job, my second came along started with same childminder but she wound the business up except for after school care and seem to lose the love for the job and my son was unhappy and she literally did nothing with him. I moved him to a nursery he loves it I have no negatives it uses tapestry and my son skips in

I'm on maternity leave the the moment but I work in a baby room at a nursery 4months-2years and my DD is going to be going there when I go back to work.
I can honestly say no child is left upset and distressed all day, we call parents if they are upset for anything longer than an hour or two tops and give the option to come collect or if they're happy for us to keep trying to calms them down etc.
Yes there's a lot of paperwork but it doesn't take us away from the children as the ratios will
Always stay the same, 3:1 for under 2's.

A childminder can't provide one to one care though, they are solely responsible for 2/3/4 children. A nursery with low staff turnover can. There was always a couple of 'floaters' at the dc's nursery so they had flexibility and a spare pair of hands for children who needed a little more attention was very lucky having a long term outstanding nursery on the door step though, it's all I know.

I agree with twinkletash- I work in a nursery (preschool room) and an on maternity leave, my son will be in the baby room at six and a half months and in thrilled he got a space. No way would a baby be left to cry, parents would be called if a child was inconsolable, and parents on babies are encouraged to ring in at any time to check in. I think when you're viewing you should ask on their policy on crying babies and settling in - they should have one which details how it's handled.

There are good and bad nurseries out there (as with CM, nannies, schools etc)

My son is 2.9 years now and has been at the same nursery since he was 9 months.

I can honestly say, I haven't got a single, negative thing to say about it.

The staff are all absolutely fantastic, really friendly and genuinely care about the children - I have picked ds at various times (often unannounced) and the staff are always playing with the children /giving cuddles etc.

The meals are excellent, the nursery is always extremely clean and the range of toys/play equipment and activities is excellent.

My ds loves going there - runs in every morning to his friends. He's also learning so much at nursery that I doubt I could do at home.

I think you need to look around carefully and make sure that you are welcome at any time of the day.

Just enrolled DS into a nursery at nearly 11 months (no choice as work demands it). Having a hard time sussing out the nursery, we're limited to only a few options in our area but they've just opened up a new nursery which is part of the N chain - have only good or outstanding nurseries. But as this one is just opened it's not been rated yet.

To start with I don't think the key person is a good fit, they don't seem to remember key details after a number of conversations and seem to approach DS with quite a cold 'has to happen' mindset which he doesn't respond well to. Can you ask to change a key person? There's a woman there he seems to like a lot more who's a bit warmer and more engaging.

Secondly, every time I've been there is a child crying hysterically which seems to be continuous and quite alarming but apparently they are letting her cry it out at the parents request. It does mean that the other children are roaming around a bit in a bit of a 'free time' way rather than the curriculum it boasts. Yet to see this curriculum in action. I also saw a few kids (under 18 months) just left to their own devices,is that normal? Felt a bit unwatched and unsafe.

Help please experienced mamas and papas!