To miss my first day at work

[Daisypod]

So tomorrow I am due to go in for a training morning at my new job, my first job in over 9 years as I have been a sahm. I am currently sitting in our local urgent care unit waiting for dh to be transferred to A&E but this is talking a long time as A&E had been closed to new admissions.
Dh has had severe abdominal pain and bleeding from behind. When I rang 111 for advice they said they were going try send an paramedic to assess him but i said I could drive him as it wasn't far. We have now been here 3 hours, I wish I had taken up the offer of a bloody paramedic :(
Anyway we have no idea what this could be or how long we could be here. If it is so night or the docs keep him in wibu to not go into work tomorrow? I feel terrible about it but I have never seen dh in this state before so I can't see how I can go in. As I haven't worked for so long I am worried that I am just being pathetic. Help!

I hope he's okay

Worry about the rest when he's been assessed.

Thanks all, some replies seem harsh but I am quite willing to believe I might be a bit sensitive arm. Dh is not critical it seems but he is in a lot of pain, finding it hard to talk and is terrified. He did seem to lose a lot of blood. Anyway A&E is still closed so it will be a long time yet. I need to get home soon so fil can go home as he is babysitting.
New job is at my childrens school and I am friends with several people that work there so they will know I am not making it up but I will try my best to go tomorrow as I still want to make a good impression

As someone who works in HR, I'd only go in if/once I knew exactly what was wrong with my DH, especially as he's in so much pain.

Any reasonable employer would understand this situation and be compassionate if you phone them up. If you can't count on your wife to be with you at a time like this, then I do have to wonder.

We've had people call in sick on their first day and similar things. A decent employer will see with you.

I hope he'll be okay.

Sorry but I would have to agree with the majority, I really wouldn't take a day off work at this stage of the game unless totally necessary. I know your dh is frightened but he will be whether you are there or not. I am sure if the tables were turned you would be sending him home so he could go to work. I hope he feels better very soon

I hope your DH is OK. I think you should be wherever you are needed most. It sounds like your new colleagues know you and your family and will understand. I'm a bit horrified with everyone saying 'he's a grown man' - and also by the breezy assumption that A&E triage in an NHS hospital is some sort of foolproof system. Be where you feel you need to be. Life is too short for anything else.

I'd go to work if I were you. And I was in your husband's position recently. In A&E, the first time, I was on a trolley and DP was told to go home. There's not really enough space in A&E for everyone to have someone stay with them. And that space is generally reserved for those accompanying their children or elderly parents.

The second time, I was told I was going to be admitted, was frightened and worried. But there was nothing that my DP could do, other than drop off pyjamas, books, bottled water etc. Which he did, before he left to travel to the other side of the country for work. Admittedly, I felt a bit sorry for myself when everyone on the ward that I was moved to had swarms of visitors. But then I became really ill and was too out of it to care, tbh. I had IV antibiotics and painkillers, and floated off on a lovely sleepy cloud. The Nurses were wonderful and I was extremely well taken care of.

If I were you, I'd try and get some sleep, explain to your new employer that you will need to answer your phone, and just try to plough through the first day on the job.

How is your DH now Daisypod?

How is he doing?

I would go in and leave if necessary. Go in and show your face just so there can be no question that you are hungover or malingering etc. Even if just for a couple of hours showing your face will make a difference.

Oh poor DH and poor you
It's very scary to lose blood like that - please be reassured that it always looks like a hell of a lot more from the back passage.

He will need blood tests (which will take a while to come back) an X-ray and if his pain doesn't settle-possibly a scan too.

It's also likely that they will arrange a scope (but depending on the other tests and results, this could be tomorrow)

Try not to panic too much. I would personally want to wait with DH, yes he's a grown man - but a scared one in lots of pain. It's comforting to have someone with you until you know what's what.

It's also useful for you to help fill in any gaps with his medical history if he's in too much pain etc.
AED can accommodate one visitor too OP is hardly bringing a bus load.

I would try to go in tomorrow, but ultimately, this is a complete one off and an emergency.
I would ( and have ) understood and not judged employees in similar situations.

Keep us posted

Any update op? X

As a 'boss' I would expect you to turn up and then once I heard what had happened I would send you back there. But always turn up else the 'boss' will always be wondering if it was legit......

Hope your DH is ok and you managed to get to work