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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for bollocking into these kids today

57 replies

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 23/08/2016 17:30

Me and my two (3 and 7) were at a local stream thing today, paddling with buckets and little fishing nets etc. Lots of other children and various parents scattered about. Three slightly older boys (maybe 8 or 9) had found a dead pike, and had it in a bucket to show people. Ok fair enough. But then they started holding it by the tail and twatting it on rocks. I went over after a few minutes to say that I thought they should stop and it wasn't very nice etc,and went back to my dcs. But after hearing much shrieking 5 minutes later they had managed to rip it in half and were throwing its insides about Sad which the other kids were watching with kind of shocked/curious/disgusted faces. At that point I went back over and told them they were upsetting the other children and to pack it in and stop being horrible. Which they then did.

I wasn't BU to firmly tell them off was I? I know telling other people's kids off is a bit of a tricky one!

OP posts:
bumsexatthebingo · 23/08/2016 18:27

Where were the parents? Surely 8 yo's wouldn't be playing in a stream without someone nearby keeping an eye on them?

Original poster
ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 23/08/2016 18:27

Maybe I was BU. Maybe I wouldn't have been so vocal if my dcs hadn't been stood watching looking fairly green!! just seemed disrespectful somehow, but maybe I'm being a bit daft about the fish.

OP posts:
Gideonsangel123 · 23/08/2016 18:29

I feel the same about people who kill foxes with dogs and then post pictures on facebook holding the dead fox up by the tail, why kill it if you're not going to eat it, stupid thick bastards.

Original poster
ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 23/08/2016 18:29

Parents were sat on the grass at the top of the bank, I think.

OP posts:
KondosSecretJunkRoom · 23/08/2016 18:29

a poor sad dead fish

Grin

If it's dead it's neither poor nor sad, certainly no more poor or sad than the captain birdseye special my kids had tonight.

Niggit · 23/08/2016 18:31

Calmitt, I did something very similar. I found a dead cat in the long grass by a busy road, and checked on it every time I took the dog out that way - it was fascinating!

I bet you didn't take one of its jawbones and wear it on a length of wool as a necklace though... Blush

kelper · 23/08/2016 18:31

My older teenagers have been fascinated by a dead rabbit this week, its been rotting quite quickly, you'd think by the age of 17 they'd be over that stage, but no!!

RattataPidgeyRattataPidgey · 23/08/2016 18:33

I'm not sure the kids had to be shouted at just because you were projecting some odd emotions onto a fish corpse being thrown about.

HornyTortoise · 23/08/2016 18:33

That is gross...in all honesty though I would probably have just moved down stream a bit away from it all and left them to it, if that was a possibility. I think I would only ever tell off someone else child if they were hurting someone..having said that I have never been in such a position before so I may actually react differently than I think I would.

Only time I have ever said anything to someone else kid was actually this weekend. This little lad came over in soft play and quite literally just punched her in the face and ran away. His mother was sat at the nearest table to them WATCHING and saying nothing. He came back over to do the same thing again and I told him to stop being a little bully. She then decides to actually get off her arse and come over to have a go at me for telling off her precious angel (who she had justw atched hit my much younger daughter for no reason...). She was actually getting rather violent with me too and the language coming out of her, surrounded by young kids was a disgrace. I could very much see where he got his bullying ways from tbh. I HAD to back down to her though eventually or I could see it would end in a fight and while I can hold my own, I do not think its good for kids to see their parents even arguing, nevermind physically fighting. It was absolutely awful :S

youarenotkiddingme · 23/08/2016 18:33

Yanbu. There's a big difference imo between examining a dead fish with interest and deliberately being disrespectful and discusting.

LollyMcLolface · 23/08/2016 18:33

I was really deeply upset seeing something similar as a child and 20 years later it still brings up unpleasant memories. I was a sensitive child who loved animals and I just found (and still find) a lack of respect for dead animals disturbing. So YANBU in my opinion.

AntoninArtaud · 23/08/2016 18:34

I mean, I can't really comment if what they were doing was normal child behaviour or not, but at the same time I don't think someone should stand idly by while another desecrates an animal corpse for fun! I know it's dead and it doesn't really mind, but it once was alive, and still should be treated with respect. But maybe that's just the vegetarian inside of me. Grin

AbyssinianBanana · 23/08/2016 18:35

Huge difference between a pet and a fish.

Have you never talked to your children how those fish fingers got on their plate? How do you think that happens?

EttaJ · 23/08/2016 18:38

Nasty feral brat behaviour. You did the right thing. Little bastards. Kids like that would do it to the fish if it were still alive. No respect. Shit parents too no doubt.

MrsHathaway · 23/08/2016 18:39

..in all honesty though I would probably have just moved down stream a bit away from it all and left them to it, if that was a possibility

::heave:: Upstream, surely.

I think smashing it to bits in front of horrified younger children is beyond curiosity and into theatre, which is not cool.

DBiL is into taxidermy. My DC are absolutely fascinated by their house.

Bluechip · 23/08/2016 18:40

YANBU. It's a bit gross and I wouldn't want to be hit by bits of fish guts. There's also a difference between fascination, picking up a bone, looking or even prodding a corpse and gleefully smashing it round and ripping it's insides out.

Original poster
ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 23/08/2016 18:40

I wasn't projecting onto a fish, and I didn't shout. I just found it quite cruel and just unpleasant behaviour. My two know where their fish fingers come from, and sadly nature can be hard, but just seemed unnecessary and unkind.

OP posts:
nursepearl · 23/08/2016 18:41

OP I don't think you're being daft about the fish, I think I would have felt the same, sad that it was being treated that way, dead or not. My kids wouldn't have liked to see it either and my youngest would have got upset, so you were not BU because some younger kids might have felt some distress.

GabsAlot · 23/08/2016 18:42

if they were throwing it at your child then maybe if not let them get on with it

horny thats just typical chav behaviour kids do what they like with permission from parents

HornyTortoise · 23/08/2016 18:54

::heave:: Upstream, surely.

--

Ofcourse, what was I thinking?! Grin

Cherrysoup · 23/08/2016 19:12

Yanbu. The parents ought to have discouraged the yanking apart and chucking round of innards. Kids are morbidly curious, but that's a bit too much.

Had to laugh at the poor sad dead fish!

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 23/08/2016 19:15

Surely younger children would have been supervised by their parents around water? And those parents would just distract them or take them away if it was upsetting?

Anyway, I'm not suggesting that it would be the preferred ending to Finding Nemo, I just think that the fish was dead to begin with and investigating the insides by ripping it apart and gutting it is not the slippery slope to a serial killer career that some are suggesting.

AlpacaLypse · 23/08/2016 19:18

To me this sounds like perfect 'It takes a village to raise a child' territory. YY you did right OP, the boys were over excited and a dead pike exploding is rather interesting when one is about 7-12 years old!

MrsBobDylan · 23/08/2016 19:19

I think if it was grossing you out (and I would feel the same) then asking them to stop was totally fine.

It would smell all fishy and disgusting too on a hot day like today. Boak.

Salmotrutta · 23/08/2016 19:19

Fairly standard sort of kid behaviour I think at that age.

I remember being fascinated too by roadkill, dead things at that age (as someone else said) and poking and prodding etc.

The fish was already dead - it's not as if they tortured and killed it.

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