To book a holiday even though we're in debt?

[HalalPork]

We haven't been away at all this year or last year. The year before our lovely ILs took us away for the week (not abroad).

We've had a really tough time over the past couple of years, illness, job loss, general stresses. We've never done a foreign beach type holiday.

From a quick browse it looks as though we could book a villa with a pool for next year for a couple of grand. This amounts to four months roughly of credit card repayments at the current rate we're clearing it (all 0%).

Would this be mental? I'd like to give the kids the experience before they're too old to want to come with us (teenagers already).

We're not on the bones of our arse, Dh earns good money and all the bills etc are paid before we look at repayments, and we do still have some fun money, we're not sacrificing ourselves at the altar of debt.

Would it be madness at this point to stick another £2k or so on the credit card?

I understand the desire for a lovely holiday but I'm afraid mine is another 'No' vote.

I was brought up to believe that if you can't afford something (without going into debt) then you can't have it. I think paying off your existing debt should be your priority.

I don't mean to sound patronising but you have a very recently diagnosed serious mental illness. This sounds like risky behaviour similar to the sort you experienced during your hypomanic phase.

Please be careful OP. And definitely keep talking to your DH.

Wishing you lots of luck for your recovery.

Being debt free is a real mindset that you have to make changes to achieve. I used to be in a lot of debt - £30k worth and remortgaged to clear the lot and give me a clean slate. Now I operate cash only and don't spend a penny more than is in my purse and has been budgeted for that week. I also drastically downscaled my lifestyle to match my means not continue to live above my means. Until you want to be debt free and will make changes for that to happen you will get deeper and deeper into debt and it will only stop when the bank stops lending.

Technically we can afford it.

This is where you're going wrong. You can't "technically afford it" if you're in 15k of debt!

Why not get a zero hours cleaning job or similar? Sitting milling over all the things you want, can't afford but think you should have anyway is not going to be good for your depression. Getting out and taking charge of your life and finances might.

You've lived beyond your means, and you want us to agree with you to help you live even more beyond your means?

Vast majority on this thread have told you booking a holiday is a bad idea, who are you still trying to convince?

It's not exactly surprising that you in debt for wine and shoes, frankly.

No you can't. If you had 2k you could knock the existing debt down to 13k. If you are saving on the mortgage, use it to pay off extra cc debt. You do not have that money and you have ONE income to rely on.

I dont know OP, you can make memories and relax in so many ways. When we were kids we didn't do foreign travel and had the most fantastic childhood. I hope my parents realised how happy we were and have good memories of it too but they would never have gone into debt, certainly on top of existing debt, to do a family holiday. I wouldnt do that now, I simply couldn't enjoy the holiday knowing the implications of spending that money. What if you need to go into further debt because your car breaks down or your kids need help going to college? Those are more reasonable and not unthinkable reasons to add to your debt. I think that you think the only way to escape and feel better is to go to the sun. I don't think that is true. Its your choice in the end but you are asking AIBU and yes, I think you are.

I'm sorry to hear about your health issues, and I hope things improve for you. I do think you're in denial about how recovered you are if you are seriously thinking that this is a reasonable holiday plan for a family of 5 where only one person can work and there is so much unsecured debt.

You must also have a quarter of a million in mortgage debt if that interest drop can save you £250 a month, but your kids are teenagers? Soon to go to Uni perhaps? Anything set aside for that? How many years until retirement?

Changing the subject slightly but why do people post on AIBU, get almost unanimous answers from posters and then say "oh but"?

I was wondering that yesterday, on the thread about the OP's child being told off by OP's sister. I don't very often see anyone admitting they are BU.

Back to the current thread. I completely understand that you want a memorable holiday, but as other pps have said, you can do that on much less money. Have you followed up any of the suggestions on the thread, or will nothing short of the private villa do for you?

Technically we can afford it

No you can't....... how on earth can you think you can, with that amount of debt? I think I'm in a parallel universe, do what the rest of us do, live within means, buy a tent (and make amazing memories) or just accept that a holiday isn't the be all and end all.

Wait - everyone has advised you that yabu but you've (already) decided that it's manageable somehow?! Why bother posting here if you've sort of already made your mind up that yanbu?! Bizarre. have fun on your holiday!

"I don't want to stay in a gritty apartment with a shared pool, I did those holidays in my pre DC days."

Well, that's all well and good, but you say that you're not on the bones of your arse. I'd agree - I'd say you're below it. On the bones of ones backside to me means having no savings and barely managing till the next month's pay cheque. £15k debt that isn't mortgage would be terrifying to me. But then, settling for the sort of holidays that you decry above has enabled us to have paid our mortgage off and save £15k, so I'd settle for "gritty appartment with a shared pool" - along with peace of mind, any day.

If someone can find me a cheaper week away in school holidays (that isn't camping or a caravan) I'd certainly be interested.

Even the cottages in the uk I've looked at are still £1500 upwards.

No you can't. If you had 2k you could knock the existing debt down to 13k. If you are saving on the mortgage, use it to pay off extra cc debt. You do not have that money and you have ONE income to rely on

This is a denial mindset on the part of the OP. She's adamant that they're fine financially, but is then offering reasons/excuses why the £2k spent on a holiday is 'different' money from £2k that could be used to reduce their debt, combined with viewing the money saved by changing mortgages as a windfall rather than money that can also be applied to reducing the debt.

Compartmentalising and making up separate rules for money spent on different things is how debt racks up, because credit cards just don't seem 'real'.

I'm not judging. I used to be in a fair bit of debt, and I recognise that it's easy to spend 'not real' money on nice things when you feel like you deserve to be compensated for having a crappy time.

liz70, we all get peace of mind different ways. I really don't care about debt and would enjoy the holiday regardless!

what's wrong with camping or caravan though? Beggars can't be choosers. Kids don't need luxury to have the best times and memories

The OP has basically got an interest free overdraft. I'd be all over that and using it to my full advantage. Leverage means beverage!

If you have 15K in debt, it sounds like you very much cannot afford this, so on that basis yabu.

The holiday won't just cost 2K, you have to factor all the extras: food, spending money, insurance.

In your (dire) financial situation, the most I would consider is a few days UK camping, or perhaps a home swap.

You cannot afford a luxury holiday.

Where are you looking at for £1500 a week?! I expect to pay around that for a fortnight!

If you have 15K in debt, it sounds like you very much cannot afford this, so on that basis yabu.

The holiday won't just cost 2K, you have to factor all the extras: food, spending money, insurance.

In your (dire) financial situation, the most I would consider is a few days UK camping, or perhaps a home swap.

You cannot afford a luxury holiday.

Don't be so ridiculous. We have a holiday cottage in a NP and it doesn't cost a third of that for Christmas/ Peak summer weeks. It's only for 2 though but there are plenty for 5 for a reasonable price. What's wrong with a caravan anyway? Bet your DC wouldn't care.
Again you aren't thinking about them really are you? And what if dh says no? Because I would. Will you sulk?

Really sorry to hear about your health issues. I'm also sorry that you've not had a holiday abroad. A couple of things really ill be honest I was ready to flame you but I can see how you feel. Firstly I don't think the holiday will all you expect it to be. You probably have this amazing feeling inside you of how the holiday will be. It's likely it won't make you feel how you think it will feel. It'll make you feel good of course and you'll make memories but I think you'll be setting yourself up for a fall. As I think you've fallen in love with the idea of a holiday abroad etc. The memories and the love you want to see around your family you can do cheaper at home. In reality you don't have the money to do this. A couple of K is a lot of money on a significant debt. I'm not being fatalistic but we never had hols abroad as my parents had us young and didn't have the money. We 'holidayed' in the UK and I have great memories. All you need is all of you together. Good luck. Don't be hard on yourself trying to live up to what you think is exciting and creating memories you'll be surprised at how much you've already achieved. Look after yourself xx

OP, I'm glad you're getting help and support with your illness but if you're still too unstable to be able to consider returning to work and are still being hospitalised on a semi-regular basis, I would gently suggest that you're not yet at a point where you can make wholly rational decisions about spending money - especially money that you haven't actually got.

I'm not unsympathetic (my DH has bipolar II and has had manic episodes although they're mostly under control now) but I think you need to quietly put this daydream to one side for a year or two.

To give you another perspective: my parents weren't great with money. We had a foreign holiday every couple of years when I was a kid and don't get me wrong, they were nice, but the memories that have stuck are less of the week in Alicante and more of the rows over money, the not being able to afford stuff day to day and the couple of occasions when losing the house was a real possibility. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish they'd spent a bit less on the foreign holidays and a bit more on prioritising elsewhere - that might have reduced the awful tension and fear I felt whenever I overheard the topic of debts and money being discussed.

No, you cannot afford it if you are having to put it on a credit card. A holiday is a luxury not a need. You would basically be increasing your debt from 15k to 17k. Total madness.