not to sponsor cousin

[Ilovetea82]

Phone call from mother
Your cousin is raising money for xx charity (local not widely known and imo a little bit dubious as its fundraising for someone medical treatment) please transfer her £100
Oh and send your uncle a birthday card and present.

Now several years ago I raised over £10k for Macmillan and had zero support from my mothers family, it was for my holiday apparently (I paid the costs associated with the trip myself) I am very much tempted to tell her where to go and that I will make a donation to a mainstream charity instead. AIBU? Also £100 is a lot of money that I can't really afford at the moment and said uncle tends to leave the room if I am there.

YANBU not to donate to anything you don't want to. But I will point out that you are making the same assumption about your cousin (she'll be spending the money on herself) that your family made about you when you were fundraising (that you'd be spending the money on yourself)...

YANBU, both mum and cousins are jokers!

Although, after discovering the inner workings of the mainstream charities, I do prefer donating money to small, local charities. I can't afford to give much away so like to know as much as possible goes towards the end cause. The big charities still do great work of course!

Hell no, tell your mum to do one!

myownprivateidaho

Presumably OP had a JustGiving page or something similar, so donors would know she couldn't pilfer the money.

Whereas the cousin is expecting donations to be made to her bank account.

1 Send your uncle a card and present.
2 Completely ignore the bit about sponsorship.
3 Do not reply to , or acknowledge the text in any way. Do not refer to it when you see her.

Why does she think you Should donate money because they've been good to her?

100 fucking quid??

Does she usually have issues with boundaries?

How much has your mum donated?

Who decided you should give £200?

£100!

Given that you don't say that you laughed in her face I'm assuming you feel unable to say 'no' to this madness

You could say, if asked, that you donated anonymously directly to the charity itself, so that they could claim the tax on it to bump up the donation. Use an innocent wide eyed expression when you say this.

It's not like they can check...

It would be better to be honest of course.

Personally I'd send a card to the room leaving Uncle but no present.

just ignore and leave it at that.

If your mother asks, just say you're not going to.

A hundred pounds? To your cousin's personal bank account? Your DM must have an excellent sense of humour...

A big fat NO is in order!Users!

Tell her and them you've transferred 1000 000 what they contributed to your own fundraising.
1000000 x 0 = 0

Do tell you donate to a charity for the illness that person has.
Do they live in the US? Or some 3rd world country?

Don't send a present unless you're invited to his birthday do. WTAF?
Or something rather cheap.

So told her I would sponsor the same as I was sponsored (she has forgotten that was a big fat zero)
Yes I had a virgin fundraising page (I understand that just giving takes a cut of monies raised) any cheques I was given were made out to the charity and I send the senders the copy of the bank slip showing that it had been deposited to the correct bank, it was all above board.

My fundraising was in response to meeting a Macmillan nurse who cared for my dad when he was dying so I had a pretty strong wish to fundraise for them. I do agree that small (official) local charities do need more attention than the bigger ones, probably given my time again I might do something different but it seemed like the right way to raise money back then.

YANBU. Tell your mum to cop onto herself. If SHE wishes to sponsor £100 and give your uncle a birthday gift, then she can do so herself. She has no right to tell you how to spend YOUR money.