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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for rent reduction

200 replies

GnomeDePlume · 22/08/2016 20:55

Sorry, posting here for traffic.

DD has just moved into a flat. Boiler doesnt work and the bloke sent by the landlord reckons it will take a week at least to fix.

DD has just started a new job 2 hours from home so needs to be able to shower daily.

WIBU to insist that DD gets a rent discount sufficient to allow her to join a gym for a month to get access to showers?

OP posts:
ghostspirit · 22/08/2016 22:15

I do agree with the gym membership thing seems odd to do that. I agree she should boil kettle and wash at sink. Things go wrong sometimes just how it is. I think it's fone that op is trying to help her Dd. Just because she's 19 does not mean she cant help her. I doubt anyone here would tell their adult children just to get on with it and offer no advice. Although in this case the answer is pretty simple

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 22/08/2016 22:16

YABU - you do know that your job as a parent is to raise your children to become self sufficient adults don't you?

RoughMagic · 22/08/2016 22:16

I've just googled and found a 14 day free gym pass at Nuffield Health clubs. Details on Money Saving Expert.

Specialapplek · 22/08/2016 22:21

OP I'm not sure why you're getting such a hard time from other posters! Presumably it's your daughter's first time away living alone and starting a job and it's not nice to not be able to shower and get herself clean at the end of a stressful day.

Definitely try asking the LL for a rent reduction. At worst he'll refuse. Good luck!

kirinm · 22/08/2016 22:23

I'm not sure if all of the people suggesting your daughter / you are being dramatic are tenants or not - if they are, they're pretty tolerant tenants.

I would be asking for a rent reduction (but not the gym membership). In my last flat, the floor had to be taken up and re- fitted. It meant moving a lot of furniture and being inconvenienced for two days (not being able to use the bedroom). Our LL offered a rent reduction. As it was only a day or two, we said not to worry.

In another house, I lost use of the bathroom for a month. I didn't pay any rent at all and my LL gave me back my deposit BEFORE I left the house so I could use it to move (he was selling).

I don't know why everyone thinks a tenant just has to suck up everything. We've now just bought and have spoken to a tenant who lives in one of the other flats and his LL sounds like a total arsehole. Leaking washing machine and boiler and he refused to do anything about it.

I do think you'll need your daughter to do the negotiating though.

Original poster
GnomeDePlume · 22/08/2016 22:24

DD has been in her new home and town for 3 days, one of which she spent at her new job.

In that time she has set up the flat herself including assembling all her flat pack furniture. She asked for our help because she has never rented on her own before and doesnt know the ropes.

OP posts:
IzzyIsBusy · 22/08/2016 22:31

But you are not showing her tbe ropes. You are wanting to ring the LL and you are want to pay a months membership because she cant wash her hair in the sink for a week.

Show her the ropes teach her how to fix minor problems herself but dont do it for her as she will never be able to deal with the surprises life throws up.

kirinm · 22/08/2016 22:35

Who cares? She's 19. There's no harm in her mum trying to help. When my son was being ripped off by his employer, I ended up getting involved because despite his best efforts, he wasn't getting anywhere. He was 18 at the time.

Original poster
GnomeDePlume · 22/08/2016 22:46

Thank you to the posters who understand that as a parent I still want to help my young adult DD.

OP posts:
Musicaltheatremum · 22/08/2016 22:56

OP you're getting a hard time. My daughter still rings me for advice, she is 23. Sometimes landlords and letting agents can be awful to young people (not that I'm saying this one is). You don't just cut the strings at 18 when they leave home, you guide them and advise them and if that involves a few phone calls so be it. I really don't understand these "she's an adult she should deal with it" people.
I would check the tenancy agreement to see what it says about the boiler being broken. My daughters landlord provided heaters when their boiler broke down but they were able to shower at college.
Good luck.

roasted · 22/08/2016 23:09

It's her battle with the LL, not yours.

However, I will agree that no showers are bloody miserable, particularly if you have long hair and/or are menstruating. Periods without showers are just horrible. Horrible.

Does she live /commute to anywhere near a big train station? Some have shower facilities (£5 in London).

Does she live/commute to anywhere near a major gym chain? Some offer daily/weekly free passes - if you can name any relevant chains, I'm sure we could help you find some passes you could register for and print off for your daughter (given her lack of internet).

Sc00bysnax · 22/08/2016 23:20

Daughter rents her OWN flat therefore it is her problem to sort out, not yours

The handy man has provided an estimated fix date, maybe he needs to source a new part

The tenancy agreement may say something about fixing issues within an acceptable timescale. I would say that a week was reasonable

Daughter can survive for a week without a shower
Kettle, water, sink, flannel
or
Swimming pool

If the boiler needs replacing, she may find that her rent goes up !

Original poster
GnomeDePlume · 22/08/2016 23:21

Thank you. DD has looked at the agreement. Nothing specific about how long the LL has to make repairs. There was something about reclaiming expenses where the LL has failed in some way.

It has been a learning for DD and for me. In future DD will be a lot better at this sort of thing.

Learning how to deal with situations doesn't mean being left to sink or swim. We have talked it through and have a plan of action.

OP posts:
IzzyIsBusy · 22/08/2016 23:26

Sink or swim.
Its hardly homelessness OP. Your DD has to live for a week without hot water. Its getting fixed in a reasonable time frame i am sure she could deal with if you let her.

I am not trying to be a cow i just dont understand parents who rather than teach/support thier young adult children to solve problems they swoop in and fix it for them.

OlennasWimple · 22/08/2016 23:27

I also think you are getting a hard time, OP. I'm glad my parents didn't just cut me off when I was 18 and still finding out how the world works.

And I do wonder what it would be like if the OP had been a LL: "AIBU? A new tenant has just moved into a flat I let out. The boiler has gone, and I sent someone round quickly to fix it but he said that it needs a new part that will take at least a week to source. She has suggested that I should reduce her rent until the boiler is fixed, as she is unable to wash in the flat and has had to pay to shower at a local leisure centre. I think it's just life that things go wrong, so she should suck it up and make do with a strip wash in the sink for a couple of weeks. AIBU?"

Kidsrulethishouse · 22/08/2016 23:28

I spent 2 full years with no running hot water and managed to keep myself and the house clean. She's lucky the landlord is sorting it as quickly as he/she is!

Kidsrulethishouse · 22/08/2016 23:30

You mention that you would sub her the money for gym membership yourself. I have to say that you don't have to but it is a lovely thing for you to do. Not all mums would do that 😘

AuroraBora · 22/08/2016 23:31

People here seem to be giving you a hard time for the sake of it.

If I were your daughter I would ask for a rent reduction. You don't know what you'll get until you ask!!

My opinion would be that either:

A) the boiler is so old the parts can't be found easily and that is why it will take a week, or
B) the bloke fixing the boiler isn't particularly fast (British Gas come out next day for us!)

Neither of those are your daughter's fault.

But, she should do it. Not you. You can be her sounding board and suggest what to do, but make her do the hard work. If she wants a rent reduction enough then she will contact the landlord.

IzzyIsBusy · 22/08/2016 23:32

Who has said cut her off????

Nobody.

But this situation is hardly life or death. You can allow your children to grow up without cutting them off you know.
So its either baby them their whole life or cut them off. Where the inbetween?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 22/08/2016 23:37

She doesn't need to have cold showers.

Fill a bucket with water from the kettle,stand in the bath and soap up then rinse off.

TheGruffaloMother · 22/08/2016 23:43

It's your DD's tenancy so IMO advising her and giving her money for the gym would be appropriate but actually being the one to talk to the landlord would be quite inappropriate unless you know the landlord personally.

Might be cheaper to pay for her to get a wash and blow dry at a salon rather than a week of gym entry. She could still wash in water heated in the kettle and her hair would be clean. Plus it'd be a nice treat on a rough week.

Bestthingever · 22/08/2016 23:47

We are landlords and have to deal with our tenant's father calling us. It's ridiculous. Our tenant is 25, a restaurant manager with two kids. She's a grown adult. The boiler in the house broke down on Saturday and the dad has called and texted twice a day since Saturday lunchtime. We managed to get someone first thing this morning and that wasn't good enough. That guy has now advised replacing it and we have three people coming to give quotes tomorrow. We are doing our best!! When we considered getting the property fully managed, he called dh up and begged him not to because he 'preferred' dealing with dh! And dh gave in! I warned him it was because he knew the agency would refuse to talk to him. My dad helped me a bit when I first moved into a flat but at no time would have spoken to the landlord (df btw worked for the council housing dept so he could have been very difficult!). It's not normal parenting in my book and I regret we accepted this tenant over the other offer we had on the property because of her dads interference.

eightbluebirds · 22/08/2016 23:57

You say she's been there only 3 days and she finding the "daily cold showers" too much? Flannel with warm water and get some dry shampoo if she must. She doesn't need to wash her hair daily surely?
And £8 seems excessive for a swimming pool, they're all around £3.50 around here. Is she in London?

NPowerShitShower · 23/08/2016 00:52

When this happened to my tenant, I found out last thing Thursday evening. Company sent round Friday, new boiler fitted Monday. It's not hard. It's really not. If you're a landlord, you pull your finger out and fulfil your side of your contract. To add, I had a baby via emergency c-section the Sunday before the boiler went. I came home from hospital the same day as the boiler broke. I also live on the other side of the world.

Yanbu, OP. My boiler would have been fixed the next day if it hadn't been a weekend. Oh yeah - and we offered a rent reduction. Shitty landlords really get on my wick.

NPowerShitShower · 23/08/2016 00:56

Kidsrule - she's not lucky. That's the bare minimum the landlord should do. As a landlord and a tenant, there is no luck involved. There are good and bad of both. She has paid up and presumably signed a contract. The landlord should have a fund for anticipated costs like this and a bank of reliable tradespeople. If he/she doesn't, then he/she shouldn't be in business...

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